His face twisted into a grimace, and he shoved me back hard. I came back, ready to wind up and knock the living shit out of him, when Liv’s voice rang out.
“Ian, don’t!” She was suddenly beside me, a dangerous place to be. She circled my wrist, halting my advance on Will.
She wasn’t strong enough to hold me back, but she had the power to pull me out of my emotions long enough to consider what I was doing. I looked over to her, feeling wild with rage.
Slowly, she moved between us. Placing her hands on my chest, she stilled me. But my heart wouldn’t slow, and nothing she could say would lessen the hatred I felt for Will right now.
“Please don’t fight. I know it’s a lot to take in. It’s going to be okay though,” she whispered in a watery voice, pressing her forehead against my chest.
Her touch hurt. Everything fucking ached inside me right now.
I took a step away, sparing Will the physical punishment he sorely deserved.
I didn’t know what to say. My hands wanted to do the talking. The urge to dole out justice was fierce. I had to get away from everyone before I did something truly stupid.
Without another word, I left the room and headed toward mine. I sat on the bed and let my head fall into my shaking hands.
She was pregnant. With Will’s baby.
The pain was so raw, lancing through me. The anger singed like fire through my veins.
Liv was there a moment later, standing before me. She stroked my cheek and squeezed my shoulder, as if she could ease what had my body strung tight like a bow.
When I looked up, I saw my pain reflected in her vibrant eyes—two blue diamonds. Priceless, perfect, and slowly slipping out of reach.
“Why, Liv?”
I knew she didn’t have the answer, but I couldn’t stop myself from asking for it.
Why now, when I’d fallen so hard? I’d allowed Will into my social life as an assurance that any relationship would be impossible. Then stupidly, I’d fallen in love, and here we were. We wouldn’t get past this. I couldn’t.
“It was an accident. This is my fault too.”
I shook my head, unwilling to believe it. “It’s not.”
“I know you’re angry, but it’s not the end of the world. I was devastated when I found out, yes. But I’m coming to terms, and you will too. We can get through this. I know we can.”
I rose, stepped away from her painful touch, and paced the room.
“Do you have any idea how hard it’s been to share you? To let him have any part of you when I want you for myself?”
“This hasn’t been easy for any of us.”
“That’s because we’re trying to make something work that’s impossible!” I shouted, overwhelmed with the reality I was now facing.
More tears rimmed her eyes. “I can’t let myself believe that,” she said quietly.
The fire of my rage dulled enough to go to her. I caged her against me, willing my heart to slow down. Willing the anger and resentment away, knowing ultimately it was tearing us both apart.
Slowly I caressed down her arms and over her silken skin. She was as soft and intoxicating as the first time I’d touched her. But so much had changed. I grazed my hand over her flat belly, where Will’s child was growing. Now we’d never be the same.
I fought back an albatross of emotion. I’d spent half my life taking every measure to ensure I never became a father. I didn’t know what came over me now to change that, but if given the choice, I would have traded places with Will in a heartbeat. I would have given anything in that moment to be the one she was bound to, to know she was carrying that life for me.
She sighed against me and held me back, a mirror of deep love and trust. I held her tighter, overwhelmed with what I felt for this woman.
“I wish it were me, Liv. I wish I’d been the selfish one.” I didn’t recognize my own voice. But in that moment, I knew I’d never hold her again this way…
I pulled away. The physical separation cut through me like a hot blade. I went to my closet to retrieve the large duffle and started throwing clothes into it. I hadn’t ever planned to stay with Will long, so my belongings here were few. The rest were with my family until I found a place to land. This would be over quickly. Had to be, because I could scarcely breathe. Had to get out of here.
“Ian, don’t leave.”
Liv was frozen where I’d left her. Her tears gutted me, as did the pain in her voice. I hated Will for what this was doing to her, but I couldn’t sit here and watch this play out.
I swallowed over the knot in my throat. “I can’t stay here.”
I threw the last of my things into the bag and zipped it up. Then I went to her, knowing I had to say good-bye.
“Please, Ian. You don’t have to do this.” Her voice wavered, and she came to me, fisting her hands into my shirt.
Still, I fought the urge to drop the bag and give her everything she wanted. Acceptance, forgiveness for what Will had done, a promise that we’d find a way through this mess. Instead, I fell deeper into my pain, a journey I’d grown used to over time.