HEY SWEETIE, I’M ALMOST BACK HOME. What a ride with Tito. He’s crazy, I tell you. I keep trying to tell him about the Reap and get him off the streets. But he won’t. He insists on this bullshit life and it hurts me. Knox covered for me while I went on my trip with Tito. Watching it all happen… I’m thankful for what I have with the Reap. It’s not always perfect. I have a long way to go to get to the table. To be part of chapel. But when I do… oh, sweetie, we’re going to be just fine together.
I know this is all crazy to you now, huh? Not many people understand what this life is about. What it means to ride free. I’ve been doing this for a long time now, whether anyone believes it or not. Right now the only thing missing is you, Linds. I need my girl with me. I don’t even know what I can and can’t write to you anymore. I don’t know who is going to read it. I don’t know if you’re even reading these words.
But I’ll keep writing.
I’m sitting on the ground, leaning against my motorcycle. I just finished a smoke and now I’m watching the last few flickers of daylight as they’re eaten up by the horizon. Tito is over there on his cell, yelling about something. Probably some deal he’s supposed to make. I worry about him. He took care of me for so long, I want to take care of him.
The road we’re on is empty and quiet. It’s really nice. A good spot to think. Yet all I can think about is you. My love for you, Linds. From the first second I saw you. Our first kiss. The first time we took that walk through the park and I bought you ice cream. You got chocolate on your nose and I kissed it off. You said I was gross and I said I loved you. Shit, we were too young for all of that? Probably. But look what we were thrown with. Your parents gone. Your crazy aunt trying to do the best she can. My fucking family always a mess.
That’s how it goes, right? Two broken people finding each other. Making the pieces come together and finally be whole. I don’t need to be a certain age to discover that shit. Or go through anything in life to experience it. I know it. I feel it in my heart already.
Damn, I miss you so much. I don’t know what’s going to happen this year. You have one year left and I’m already out and living life. I’ll do everything to see you. And you do the same. Nothing can keep us apart. I’ve spent a long time respecting the wishes of a man that isn’t even your father. A man who has hurt you. A man that I’m afraid will keep hurting you. It has to stop, sweetie. I want to take care of you. I can take care of you. I will take care of you.
I hate when people promise each other the word forever, but with you, it’s easy to do.
So here I sit against my two wheel steel piece of freedom and yet I feel like my heart is trapped. By you. I have to see you soon. No matter what it costs me. That’s my promise to you. I’ll never stop fighting. For you. For us.
I LOVE YOU, sweetie
King
I PUT the letter down and could barely find my breath. I stood off the bed and waved my hands, trying to process everything he’d written.
My bedroom door opened a little and Aunt Jane poked her head in. “Lindsey?”
“I’m fine,” I said. “It’s a good thing.”
She came into the room. “What’s wrong?”
“The letter. How could nobody else get it but me and him?”
I saw the look on Aunt Jane’s face. “Maybe I do get it, Lindsey. Maybe I’m scared for you.”
“Let me be scared for me. Jim can’t control me. It’s not right and fair. I refuse it. You shouldn’t either. I can’t stand this place!”
Aunt Jane hurried to me and grabbed my arms. “Stop right now. Do not bring attention to yourself.”
“What?”
“Shit. I didn’t want to tell you like this…”
“Like what?” I asked.
“You need to just stay with this,” Aunt Jane said. “I’m going to leave Jim. Soon. Things aren’t good in this house. I know that. But I can’t just bolt right now. I have to consider everything around me.”
My jaw dropped. “I’m… I’m sorry.”
“Sorry?”
“He’s your husband. That can’t be easy.”
“That’s for me to worry about. Not you. Just please stay with me on all of this.”
“So when you leave… we leave… me and King…”
My heart started to race.
Aunt Jane smirked. “I can’t stop you from what you want. From what you love.”
I threw my arms around Aunt Jane.
I was happy. I felt bad for her.
We stood there and cried as we hugged.
Things were finally going to change.
Things were going to be good.
Or so I thought.
16
(King) *NOW*
I MADE a fist and pounded it against the door. I couldn’t stop thinking about the ring. I couldn't stop thinking about what I’d do if that asshole answered the door. I didn’t believe for a second that Linds would be that kind of woman to go back to a guy like that, but sometimes people were scared and didn’t know what to do.
Shit, it wasn’t her goddamn fault.
“Who is it?” Linds’s voice asked through the door.
“King,” I said. “I need to talk to you, sweetie.”
The door opened. I knew it would. She could never resist me. And fuck me for thinking that. Fuck me for taking advantage of her desire for me.