“I can see spirits,” he blurted.
Holy hell. He’d never said that before. Never revealed his deepest, darkest secret. And yet, Leah was the only one he could ever envision telling. Maybe when he told the others later it would be easier, but telling Leah…that was everything.
He cleared his throat. “I see the dead, can hear them, feel them sometimes.”
“Oh, Ryder. That…gift. No wonder you’re so silent sometimes. The voices of the dead can be overwhelming. I’m not a spirit witch, but I know of the powers.”
She understood. Just like that, she understood.
“For the first half of my life, they screamed at me. They never asked me for anything, but they shouted and tried to get their hooks into my wolf. I wasn’t strong enough to get them to stop, but I was strong enough to keep my wolf and my soul. Now they ask for things or scream. They brush by me, taking a little bit out of me with each sighting. Only recently have I tried to…not control, but use my gift.” And both times were for her.
“You needed someone to guide you, Ryder. I know if you had been in another Pack, an elder would have helped. Or even an earth or water witch.”
“What do you mean a water witch?”
Leah pulled away from him slightly so she could look at his face. “Ryder, water witches commune with the spirits. We cannot hear them unless it’s on the slight mist of a wave newly born, but we can feel their presence. We’re the most sensitive of the witches when it comes to those who have been lost to us. We cannot control or send them through the Veil as spirit witches can, but we can aid.”
“I…I didn’t know that.” It didn’t make sense. How could he not know that? It changed everything…but he couldn’t hope. Not when he’d spent a century giving up on the idea of a future with a mate.
He’d pushed Leah away to protect her, and yet… had it been for nothing?
“Oh, my Ryder.” She cupped his face. “Don’t you see? The goddess knew what she was doing when she brought us together. You’re in so much pain, my wolf. I want to help you. I need to. You should have been trained in your gift, and I could rightly kick their fucking asses for daring to leave you alone as you are. You need to tell your family, darling. They need to know who you are, what you are. I’m honored you told me, and I will cherish your secret. But Ryder, you are more than your gift, more than your wolf, more than your loyalty. You are more than who you think you are.”
“If I were to tell them, then I’d risk the spirits coming after them…or risk Timothy.”
Her eyes widened. “Your uncle is still here? He didn’t cross the Veil?”
His uncle screamed in his ears even as some of the other spirits cried for what they’d lost in their lives. It was always a dull throb in the back of his mind, but since he’d spoken of it, it only got louder. What would he do if Leah could help him? Could he risk her? Or was that even a risk? He just didn’t know.
“He haunts me every hour. I don’t see him like I see the others, but I can hear him.”
“And he makes you feel like shit because he’s a fucking asshole.” Leah pressed her lips together and inhaled through her nose. “Ryder. You do not have to do this alone.”
“I pushed you away because I couldn’t have you.”
“You wouldn’t,” she counted.
“Couldn’t. No. I couldn’t, Leah. A mating bond can force the other person to deal with the wolf’s gifts and powers. Not only would you have to deal with the excess bonds of a healing and growing Pack as the mate of the Heir, but you might also end up with my abilities.”
Leah stood, her hands fisting. “And you don’t think I can handle that? You didn’t give me a choice. How do you think that makes me feel? You say I’m strong and you let me protect your family with my magic, but you undercut all of that by saying you can’t mate with me.”
He stood and cupped her face, his wolf howling within. “I couldn’t see you die because of it. Don’t you understand? Every time I use a spirit, every time it slides through me, I weaken. I couldn’t let that happen to you. I don’t know what will happen when a bond forms. What if it gets worse? What if it kills you? I see death, little witch. What if death takes a new form with a mating bond? I’ve heard of gifts mutating before. I didn’t want to risk you.”
Leah let out a little growl. If he hadn’t been so sure the growl was because he’d hurt her, he’d have thought it was damn sexy.