She’d finally found her worth. She’d protected the Pack and saved them all. And now she had to save herself.
A cold wind slid over her skin and she shivered. She’d come to the lake because her body needed the water, even if it were frozen over in most places. With just her touch, she could melt the ice and have herself a nice warm bath.
Determined to wash away some of the day, she stripped to her skin and sent out a pulse of magic. The edge of the lake closest to her began to melt, the crack of ice loud in the silence, echoing off the large trees. The Talon land would make any witch proud. Easy access to earth and water with an immense history of caring for the territory and land. While many of the forests around the country had been pilfered, the goddess had aided the wolves with their dens, and within those dens, the land reflected its true nature and connection to the earth and to the moon goddess.
The Talon land called to her, much like Ryder did.
She only hoped that both wouldn’t scar her for life.
The man would push her away while the land might reject her. Everything else had in the past, and she wouldn’t put it past the moon goddess to reject her claim, or rather, her need, of the Talon land.
Leah dipped one foot into the lake and sighed. While the rest of the lake either had ice over it or had a slushy look to it, her magic had created an almost hot spring where it had pulsed. She moaned deeply as she submerged herself into the water up to her neck. The lake called to her magic and she let it soak into her skin. Normally, she wouldn’t waste her magic on making her own hot tub within a natural lake, but the water would replenish her quickly. And frankly, she needed time to think. Time to heal.
Her magic tingled along her skin, the water soothing her soul yet not her anger.
When she sensed rather than saw Ryder approach, she kept her eyes closed and her back to him. The sound of clothes rustling reached her ears and she dunked her head under the water, needing the moment to clear her thoughts.
As she stood, breathing in fresh air and sliding her hands through her hair, Ryder’s arms went around her waist. She didn’t stiffen, but neither did she lean into his hold like she wanted to.
The anger beneath the surface didn’t burst through, but it was there. Waiting.
“You look beautiful in the moonlight,” Ryder said softly, his breath warm on her neck. “That sounds like a line. I’m sorry. What I mean is, you look like a goddess in your own right. Add the magic you used to create your own winter oasis…you stun me. You are so powerful, Leah. Brilliance beneath a soft surface. I…you take my breath away.”
She pressed her lips together then turned in his arms. When she opened her eyes, she let out a breath. He stared down at her, his eyes intense. It wasn’t his wolf there with her, but the man. The man wanted her, and the man had said the words that, at any other moment, would make her fall for him once more.
She wanted to tell him that she loved him, wanted to ask him if he was okay from the attack before. She had so much she wanted to tell him, but instead of any of that, she let the anger come through…the anger and the hurt.
“Why don’t you trust me?”
It came out like a growl, but it was a plea, not a whisper.
Ryder’s eyes widened ever so slightly, and she saw the shame slide through them. “I trust you, Leah. I trust you more than anyone else in my life.”
“That’s a fucking lie.” He stiffened at her curse. Probably because she didn’t use those words as much as him, or at least she hadn’t yet. He was in for a new version of her. “You don’t trust me enough to tell me why you won’t mate with me. You’re denying me a future with you. You’re denying me children, you’re denying me love and a mating bond. And you keep telling me it’s for a reason, but you won’t tell me that reason. That’s not trust.”
“I’ll tell you, Leah. I’ll tell you everything.”
That should have warmed her, but it might be too late.
“Why now? Because you’re in a corner? Because that still doesn’t speak trust.”
He cupped her face with one hand and slid the other through her wet hair. “I’ll tell you everything, Leah. I promise. I didn’t tell you before because I was ashamed.” He closed his eyes. “I’m broken, Leah. So fucking broken that I’ll break you, too.”
She let out a little sob, tears filling her eyes. “I’m already broken, Ryder. Mates are supposed to put each other back together.” Anger filtered through her again, but sorrow slid in right behind it, taking over.
Her heart broke once more, knowing that while Ryder might tell her everything, it didn’t mean he’d create the bond. He’d said he was protecting her, but when would he get it in his head that she could protect herself?
Instead of saying anything else, she rested her cheek on his chest and let his heartbeat calm her. Steam drifted off the ice blocks as the water around them remained heated from her magic. They stood naked and embracing within the frozen lake, the picture a symbol of where she was—frozen within who she was meant to be and who Ryder thought she could be.