And now he would have to face the consequences of his decisions. Because he’d been blessed by the goddess with a potential mate, and yet he’d pushed her away while still keeping a small hold on her. He didn’t deserve her, yet he didn’t want to let her go.
They made their way to the living room and sat next to one another on the couch. Leah sank into the cushions but didn’t look as relaxed as she was trying to portray. He’d been the one to do that. She may have lost her father that morning, but the pain on her face wasn’t born of that.
“I wasn’t born the Heir,” he said after a few moments of silence. Leah didn’t respond except to grip his hand. “My uncles and father were the ones who held the mantles of power from the goddess. You know some of my history, my family’s history. But in order for you to understand why…just why…I’ll tell you more.”
She squeezed his hand. “Just say what you need to, how you need to. I told you about my family and the Coven. So I understand. Sometimes, you have to go the long way.”
He kissed her knuckles then rubbed his thumb along them. “My father was a sadist. While that, in itself, wouldn’t normally be a horrific thing, he held the power of the Pack and not only liked to deliver pain, he liked to deliver humiliation, torture, and death. He beat Gideon until my brother, my Alpha, couldn’t walk. He…he hurt Brynn to the point I didn’t think she’d be whole again.”
He let out a shaky breath. “Each uncle verbally and physically abused us. Mitchell and Max’s father saved his pain only for his sons, and I don’t know the details. It’s not my place to know them unless they are ready to reveal. We grew up in pain and fire. So much distrust and agony came from the men before us, the goddess began to disown us.”
Leah met his gaze, and he took a deep breath.
“Until Gina from the Redwood Pack and Quinn mated, there hadn’t been a mating in the Talon Pack for fifteen years.” He closed his eyes. “Those fifteen years were a time of rebuilding. Gideon killed our father because of his crimes, and most of the other uncles lost their battles during the Redwood and Central war.”
Leah squeezed his hand once more. “I know most of the history of the war, Ryder. I know the atrocities of the Centrals. As well as your uncles.”
“You don’t know all of them,” he said softly. “As I said before, I was not born the Heir. But as the second son of the Alpha, I knew one day I would become the Heir. That is how things are supposed to work. Once the next generation awakens and grows into their wolves, they become the new powers. The older ones step down as they train their counterparts. That is how the Redwoods are doing it now, and that was how the Talons should have done it. And yet we didn’t. Our uncles refused to train us. They refused to allow their wolves to give up any of their powers in the hierarchy. It broke our Pack. Almost completely.”
Ryder pushed back the memories of the screams, the pain, the disappearances of those close to him. Each of their uncles had mated at one point in their lives, yet each of the women had died at the hands of the Brentwood family.
“For a long time, I didn’t believe the Talons deserved the goddess’s forgiveness.”
“Ryder.”
“I know that was wrong. The innocent deserved far more than forgiveness. But I’m going off track.” He let out a slow breath. “Uncle Timothy was the Heir before me. He was the one uncle most of the family believed held a nicer side. It was a lie. Is a lie.”
“What do you mean?”
“Timothy allowed the Pack to believe he was the one on their side. He never showed his cruelty because he wanted to be the one they relied on, all the while undercutting them. He only showed his true self to one person.” He paused. “Me.”
“Oh, Ryder.” She climbed into his lap, and he tucked her under his chin, needing her touch. His wolf pushed at him, wanting her even closer.
“He beat me until I was sure I wouldn’t be able to shift and heal. Our Healer, my other uncle, had to have known I was in pain. The rest of the family who had powers had to have felt it along the bonds, but they did nothing. I almost died at least a dozen times. And each time he’d force me to shift. Because of that, I think, shifting is so painful that I hate doing it.”
His wolf whimpered and he wanted to curse.
“I don’t hate my wolf. He’s…he’s the other part of my soul. But letting him out is agony.”
Leah nuzzled into him, calming not only his wolf, but the rest of him, as well. “Tell me everything, Ryder. I know that’s not all. You hate yourself and push me away because of something. It can’t be your wolf alone.”
He kissed the top of her head. “You’re right. That’s part of my past, but not all of it.” He took a deep breath. “I was beaten, forced to turn when I shouldn’t have, and had to hide it all for fear Timothy would kill Brynn. Yet through it all, everything was made worse because I have a…a gift.”
Leah pulled away. “Does it have to do with how you found me in the woods? Or what happened to Luis and Darynda?”
Goddess, she was so smart, so strong. He didn’t deserve her.