My chest ached as the scene played out in front of me. Everyone was sad, but going on with their lives and all I wanted to do was curl up in a ball and dream of what my future with Jase would have been like.
“If God doesn’t want us to be unhappy . . . why did he take Jase from me?”
She remained silent for a few moments. “Think how unhappy you would have been if you hadn’t loved him at all.”
My head snapped over to look at her. Her blue eyes sparkled and held my stare. Winking she broke our connection when she glanced back over to everyone. “Tis better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. My momma used to say that to me all the time.”
Closing my eyes, I tried to understand it but maybe I was just selfish.
I wanted Jase with me.
I wanted to have kids and grow old with him.
I wanted our dreams to come true together.
The only thing I could understand now was how sad I was.
I shook my head and chewed on the corner of my lip. “No. No I’m not going to just sit here and believe I should be happy with the memories we made.” My chin trembled as I watched Mireya and Bella playing. “He’s coming back to me, Grams. He promised.”
She took my hand and held it. “Then that’s what you hold on to, Taylor. That feeling right there. Grip it and hold on to it tightly.”
I tried desperately to not withdraw back into myself while everyone sat around both inside and out. Not being able to help myself, I pictured what my wedding would have been like. Most likely exactly like this. Everyone I loved surrounding me in celebration.
Then it hit me. Everyone I loved was surrounding me now. It might not have been to celebrate my wedding, but it was to show me how much they loved me and Jase. My mother and Whitley played hostess to everyone and kept busy making sure everyone had something to drink or they got enough food to eat. They were keeping their minds busy.
I stood and made my way over to Mireya. “You wore Bella out!”
Mireya giggled. “Want to play hide and seek?”
Her eyes lit up as she jumped up. Her bouncy curls going everywhere. “Yes!”
Alex brought Bayli over to us as I called out, “Who wants to play hide and seek?”
Layton carried Nickolas in his arms and walked up. “Count us in.”
Smiling, I reached up on my toes and kissed him on the cheek. His blue eyes reminded me of Jase as my heart dropped. When he smiled back, I knew no matter what happened, I was going to be okay. Surrounded by people who loved me and cared about me, I knew I would be okay.
“Not it!” Alex called out as Bayli jumped in excitement.
“Not it!” Layton cried out and took off running while Nickolas laughed.
My hands landed on my hips as I gave everyone an evil smile. “Fine. I’ll be it. Home base is . . .” Spinning around, I saw Bella. “Bella!”
“Oh lord, that puppy doesn’t stay still for nothing,” Grace said.
“A moving home base. I like it,” Walker replied with a wink in my direction.
I closed my eyes and started counting. Everyone could be heard taking off in all different directions.
This was exactly what I needed if I couldn’t have Jase.
My family and friends.
Jase
Present day
Nate reached out and took the two Advil and a bottled water. “How’s it looking?” I asked.
Rolling his eyes, he said, “Swollen. I swear I have new respect for Ava now.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Yeah, that had to have sucked with a broken leg and ankle.”
“Fuck that. I will tell you what I’m grateful for.”
Lifting my eyebrows, I asked, “What?”
“I’m grateful for the person who packed that damn first aid kit and had the sense to put so much aspirin and Advil in it.”
With a light chuckle, I looked away. I didn’t have the heart to tell him there were only a few pills left. Between the three of them, we were running low.
Next thing I heard was William yelling. “Holy shit! Holy fucking shit! I’m so stupid. So. Fucking. Stupid.”
Nate sighed. “Damn. I thought for sure Tess would be the first to lose her shit and flip out.”
“Hey!” Tess said smacking the back of Nate’s head. “You asshole.”
The two of them had been at each other’s throats the last two days. It might not have been obvious to them, but I could tell they were attracted to one another.
Standing, I took in a deep breath and quickly forced it out as I worked up the nerve to go see what William was going off about.
“I’ll go see what’s going on.”
Before I could take a step, William came hobbling toward us. “Your cell phone batteries! Has everyone kept their phones off?”
I nodded and then looked at Nate and Tess. “Yep. Mine’s been off the whole time,” Tess answered.
Nate nodded. “Same here.”
The smile that spread across William’s face was the first sign of hope we had had in the last five days.
“I don’t know what in the hell I was thinking trying to mess with the radio. The emergency beacon is what we need to get working.”
Tess jumped up. “Yes!”
“Using our batteries from our phones, I can wire them together in a series to get enough juice to get the beacon going.”