They both sat on either side of me, each taking my hand and holding it.
“Whitley invited everyone over for lunch. I guess they’re having Coopers cater it. You know how much I love Coopers.”
With a weak grin, I turned to Grace who stared straight ahead. “Yes. I know how much you love it, Grace.”
The next thing I knew, the back screen door flew open and Mireya ran by holding something. “I take it Libby and Luke are here?”
Meagan squeezed my hand. “Hell, the whole gang is here. Whitley may think twice before inviting us all over again.”
I tried to chuckle, but couldn’t.
Grace cleared her throat. I felt her eyes burning into me as she pondered what to say or ask. “Have you um . . . have you heard from Ryder?”
“Yes. The area where the plane was last on radar was pretty rugged. He said something about the plane having some kind of chute it can deploy and help glide it down. They’re hoping they used it and were able to find a safe area to land.”
“So, it’s still a search and rescue?”
My body went numb as those words hit me. I didn’t want to lose hope, but as each hour went on my heart ached even more. “For now.”
“They’re going to find them, Tay. You have to feel it in your heart that he’s okay.”
Swallowing hard, I felt a tear escape from my eye as I wiped it away. “Sometimes I do, but then I’m so overcome with grief sometimes I don’t know what to think. It hits me so hard that I’m almost positive he’s . . . he’s . . .”
“Don’t say it. Until they change it to recovery, or until we know something else, we keep going on that they will find them.”
Turning to Grace, I could see how strongly she believed the words she was saying to me.
“I’m trying, Grace. But I’m so tired and my brain doesn’t know what to think anymore.”
We heard a puppy bark. All three of us turned to see Mireya playing with Bella.
“Bella,” I whispered as I broke down crying. Meagan quickly dropped to her knees in front of me.
“Baby, it’s okay to cry. Shit, it’s okay to be angry.”
Nodding my head, I pressed my lips together. “I am angry. I’m mad at myself for not going with him.” Meagan shook her head as tears slipped down her face.
“I’m angry at, Jase. I’m so angry that he left me. He promised me it would all be okay. He swore to me he would never hurt me again.”
Grace joined Meagan as she looked up at me. “You can be angry, but don’t be angry at Jase. If he had the choice you know he would never hurt you. It was an accident, Taylor. Something out of his control.”
My hands came up as I buried my face in them. “I know! Oh God I know that and I hate myself for being angry. My emotions are everywhere and I just want to scream.”
“Sounds like to me . . . you need to take a walk.”
Dropping my hands, I jumped up when I heard her voice. “Grams!”
She held her arms out as I gently hugged her.
“I’m not going to break, child. Give me a proper hug and then let’s go for a walk.”
Chuckling, I nodded as I hugged her then wrapped my arm with hers. We slowly started down the stairs and toward the barn.
“I’m not as young as I once was . . . but I still walk a mile a day, you know.”
My heart felt lighter instantly. There was something about Grams that had always soothed me. “Grams, did you ever lose hope when times got hard?”
She made a tsking sound and then nodded. “Everyone loses hope at times. It’s all a part of life.”
“I knew things were too good to be true. It was as if I was waiting for the rug to be pulled out from underneath us.”
“Nonsense. Don’t ever think that way again. God doesn’t give you happiness just so he can yank it away. He may throw a few heartaches in there, some anger, some confusion, stubborn men who will always be stubborn.”
Giggling, I knew she was talking about Gramps. “But, sweetheart, he doesn’t take happiness away from us.”
Sniffling, I fought to keep my tears at bay. “I don’t feel very happy right now.”
“No. I’m sure you don’t. You probably feel helpless and maybe even giving up hope that . . . oh fiddle sticks . . . what is your beau’s name?”
Smiling wide, I answered, “Jase.”
“That’s right!” she said as she snapped her fingers. “Jase.”
We stopped outside the barn and sat on a bench. Looking back at the house, I saw everyone making their way outside. I’d heard Whitley mention something about heating the pool. Both Baylie and Mireya were running on the tanning ledge as Bella jumped in and out of the pool.
“The whole crew is here. Everyone except, Jase,” I whispered.
Grams placed her hand on my leg. I watched as everyone set up food on the outside tables. Grayson kissed my sister as he placed the twins in a portable playpen.
“Jase would love to see this. Everyone together.”