Live Me

“Oh man, you have no clue.” He took one more step and closed the small gap that remained between us. And as much as I was scared, I was also calm. This was unknown territory, but I was in it with Blake. Nervous and scared but not for negative reasons. For typical, never-done-this-before reasons. The butterflies fluttered and I clenched my belly, willing them away.

Blake inched forward with caution. “I’m going to try something, okay? Just don’t move.”

I swallowed past the lump in my throat. My tongue flicked out to wet my lips, and he let out a soft groan. It was his undoing.

His hands traveled up the lapel of the blazer, and he curled his fingers around it at my collarbone. Giving a slight tug, he pulled me to him so our bodies were flush against one another.

My breathing caught in my throat, and I could feel his heart hammering against his chest. I wondered if he could hear mine, the thrumming was so loud in my ears. His breathing was labored, but his eyes were determined as he very slowly lowered his face to mine. He stopped when our noses touched, and stared into my eyes. I knew he was giving me one last chance to back out, but I couldn’t. Though my heart was flying, a sense of tranquility and security washed over me. I wanted this.

No—I needed this.

His hands trembled in the fabric of the jacket, and I knew it was taking everything in him to restrain himself. Unable to withstand the pressure anymore, I pushed up on my tippy toes, quickly breaking the tension surrounding us, and locked my lips with his.

We stared at each other, taking in the fact this was really happening, and then our bodies instinctively took over. He closed his eyes and drew my bottom lip into his mouth as I clasped his upper lip between my own, my tongue gliding across it. I let out a soft groan as his taste flooded my senses. He paused briefly, never breaking contact, and I felt his smile widen beneath my lips.

This. Was. Happening.

His kiss was slow and cautious at first. He kept me firmly pinned to him by his jacket as he tilted his head and parted my lips. Allowing him in, our tongues danced in my mouth, circling and sliding as we tasted one another for the first time.

We explored each other gently, our tongues flicking and caressing. He dipped in and out of my mouth, following each with a kiss. It was so soft and sensual I found myself building, needing more. Desire coiled, bubbling up inside me, consuming me until I felt like I couldn’t take it anymore.

A rush swept through me and I plunged my fingers deep into his hair, deepening the kiss. I wanted to pull him inside, make him a real piece of me. This first was stolen from me, but here and now, this was my true first kiss. That thought gripped my insides and spiraled in my belly.

My back bowed as I kissed him with a fervor I didn’t know I possessed. He growled into my mouth, released the lapels, and wrapped his arms around my back, pulling me tighter to him as he fisted the jacket behind me. We clung to each other like a lifeline, neither one of us willing to let go.

Sliding his hands up my back, he buried his fingers in my hair and broke the kiss as he pressed his forehead against mine. Our chests heaved as he stared at me once again and placed a small peck to my swollen mouth.

“Wow.”

“Yeah,” I breathed.

“You have no idea how much of a struggle it’s been for me to not do that all this time.” He rolled his forehead over my own. “I could die now and I’d die a happy man.”

A little laugh escaped my lips. I never imagined it could be like this. That feelings could run so deep, like your survival was dependent on that other piece of your soul. The piece you were born without and could only hope to find so you could finally feel whole.

He kissed me again, soft, light pecks as he tilted his head back and forth, getting me from every angle. “Incredible.” He sighed and released my hair. “You really do taste like a peach.”

He took my hand in his and walked me over to the couch, pulling me on top of him.

I placed my hands on his chest and noticed they were trembling. Embarrassed, I withdrew and clasped them in my lap.

Blake eyed them, his mouth draped at the corners. “You okay? That was okay, right? You’re not uncomfortable are you?”

“No, I’m perfect. That was perfect. Really. These are good shakes,” I promised. “At least I think they are.” I knotted my fingers tighter, forcing them deeper into my lap. “I think my hands are just shaking because they want to touch you.”

His body relaxed, and he grabbed my hands and placed them back on his chest. “Well then, by all means, touch away.”

His eyes darkened as he massaged his fingers into my hair and brought my lips down to his once again. His tongue swept through my mouth, learning every curve and then dragged along the roof on its retreat before placing a gentle kiss to my lips. “I could kiss these lips forever.” He placed his hands on the sides of my face, and clamped my lower lip between his teeth, giving a small tug that shot straight down between my legs.

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