Life In Reverse

“Of course he does,” I mumble as I stalk off.

After searching three aisles for olive oil and still coming up short, I’m about to ask a store clerk for help when I spot Ember and Avery heading toward me. Avery sees me first and gives me a small wave coupled with a huge smile. Ember’s attention is elsewhere.

“Hey, Vance. Fancy meeting you here.”

Ember glances up when her sister speaks. Her eyes are red-rimmed, cheeks puffy. She doesn’t look like herself and something about that doesn’t sit right with me. Strangely, I don’t like seeing her sad.

“What’s up?” I’m staring at Ember when I ask the question, but her posture is slumped and she won’t make eye contact with me. Internally, I’m chastising myself. I don’t typically want people noticing me, but right now all I want is for her to give me the time of day.

“Not much.” My attention goes back to Avery when she responds, “We’re just picking up some things for dinner.” She angles her head, staring down the aisle. “Be right back. I need to find the basil.” Avery walks away and Ember finally gives me her eyes. And, fuck, there is so much sorrow in them. It hits me square in the chest. I’ve seen that same look in my mother’s eyes and it shatters me. I want to do anything to make it disappear.

I hold up my hands, trying to lighten the moment. “I know what you’re thinking. But I swear I’m not stalking you.”

Her words are empty as is her expression. “I wasn’t thinking anything.” Then she stares off into space and I’ve lost her again.

“Hey.” I bend down a smidge as she’s pretty tall, and try to catch her gaze. “You okay?” I realize how idiotic it sounds the moment the question leaves my mouth. It’s obvious she’s not even close to being okay.

Her eyes climb to mine, lacking any of the spark I’m accustomed to in the few interactions we’ve had. “I’ve had better days.”

I’m at a loss of how to respond. I’m used to people trying to pretend they’re fine. So while her honesty is refreshing, it throws me off and I say the first thing that pops into my head. “So, uh, I can do a pretty fucking amazing headstand, wanna see?”

A puzzled expression crosses her face as if she doesn’t quite understand me. “What?”

I shove my left hand in my pocket while my right fiddles with the hoop in my ear. “I don’t know, I… I’d do anything to see you smile right now.” She glares at me like another life force has taken over my body and I can’t say I blame her. I’ve been nothing short of hostile since we met. But then she surprises the hell out of me.

“Okay. Let’s see it.”

“Huh?”

“The headstand.” Her face is stone cold serious and once again, I’m at a loss. Luckily, Julian and Avery appear and save me from acting like an idiot—having to do a fucking headstand in the middle of the grocery aisle.

“Look who I found roaming the organic chicken section,” Avery teases, and Julian chuckles. He’s such a sucker for a pretty face it makes me laugh. “I offered up my expertise on free range chicken. So your dinner,” she backhands me playfully across the shoulder, “is not only going to be delicious, but very healthy.”

Julian points to the Frosted Flakes on top of his healthy food pyramid with a snicker. “That’s not really an incentive for Vance.”

“My brother’s quite the comedian,” I offer up, eyeballing Julian while having little effect.

“Hey.” Julian snaps his fingers in front of my face. “Why don’t you both join us for dinner? Vance can vouch that I’m a pretty good cook and it’ll give us a chance to get to know each other.”

“Maybe some other time.”

“That sounds great.”

Ember and Avery reply at the same time.

Avery nudges Ember’s arm and whispers loud enough for me to hear. “Come on, Em. It’ll be good for you to get out.”

I’m kind of hoping she says yes. But I certainly won’t voice that out loud. At least it would give me a chance to maybe cheer her up and find out why she’s so upset. Not that it’s any of my business, I remind myself.

“Sure.” Ember finally speaks up with the lowest amount of enthusiasm to a dinner invitation I’ve ever heard. But my brother makes up for it tenfold.

“Great!”

Julian coerces Avery into helping him get the rest of the ingredients for dinner, and the four of us walk up and down the aisles for a good twenty minutes before we’re ready to check out. Periodically, I glance over at Ember, still stoic, looking around at everything yet nothing in particular. I feel the need to give her some sort of an out because this is obviously the last thing she wants to do tonight.

I sidle up next to her and clear my throat. “So… if you’re not up for coming over it’s totally cool.”

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