“Well,” he makes a sweeping motion up and down my body, “you wear Mickey Mouse like you just don’t care and you say whatever you think. You’re badass.”
My cheeks warm and my lips curve. “Did you just pay me a compliment?”
He bites then releases his lip, scratching at the light coating of stubble on his chin. “Shit. I think I did.”
“So maybe we are kind of like… friends now.”
“Shit.” He extends his hand out between us, a faint smirk turns up one corner of his mouth. “I think maybe we are.”
When my hand settles into his, I don’t notice any zing. That zap Avery always talks about when she holds hands with a hot guy. But what I do notice is the easy way we fit together. I find myself staring at our palms and how they wrap around one another. It reminds me of two interconnected puzzle pieces.
“What’s so fascinating?” Vance asks as he withdraws his hand from mine.
“I was just thinking about puzzles, actually.” I link my fingers together in my lap, suddenly needing something to do with my hands. “I’ve always loved doing them. When my parents were married, every Sunday morning before breakfast while everyone else was asleep, my dad and I would sit down and do a puzzle together. It was kind of our bonding time, and we’d catch up on stuff from during the week. Anyway,” I shrug, “I love puzzles.”
I’m glad he doesn’t ask what made me think of them because it would have sounded odd to explain the hand thing—and now I don’t want to ruin my badass reputation.
“So you don’t do puzzles anymore?” He leans back on his hands, pinning me with those charcoal blue eyes.
“We do. But since he doesn’t live with us now, we do them less frequently. My parents,” I shake my head at the absurdity of it all, “are really close and Dad is over quite a bit. Often he spends more time at our house than he does at his own condo. And they’re still best friends.”
“Wow. That’s pretty fucking rare.” His expression softens as his eyes move over my features. “Listen… I’m… sorry about your brother.” My face must show my surprise because he goes on. “Avery told us that he passed away.” I press my lips together to stop myself from crying, but the sympathy in his gaze makes my eyes water. He edges forward and puts his hand on my arm. “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. But….” He hesitates only for a beat, resolve forming behind his eyes. “I understand what it’s like to lose someone you love. It’s devastating. In fact, there’s nothing worse.” I nod my head then lower it when I feel the tears spill onto my cheeks.
“Hey,” his voice is almost a whisper, “you don’t have to hide from me. Hell, you don’t hide any other time. Why start now?”
Wordlessly, I nod again. And then for some reason, it’s not only the tears that come pouring out—it’s the pain. “We were triplets… but Zack and I were identical. As in, I was seriously the female version of him.” I pick up a tiny stone from the cement, rolling it around in my hand. “We just… we had this connection and I don’t even know how to explain it. He knew me better than anyone else. The same way I knew him. I feel like….”
“You feel like what?”
My gaze climbs to meet his. “I feel like a piece of me died, too.”
He swallows roughly, his eyes drifting back and forth between mine. “Tell me about that piece of yourself.” His next words come out in a gruff tone. “Tell me some things you remember.”
My gaze wanders beyond his shoulder to the giant oak tree on the side of the house. “We used to climb trees and pretend we were Jack & Annie in those Magic Tree House stories. Going on adventures, fighting pirates and looking for buried treasure. Avery never wanted to because, well, she didn’t want to mess up her hair or her pretty dresses.”
“Not you, huh?” he challenges, drawing my attention back to him.
“No. She was always trying to impress the boys, and I didn’t care much for them.” I finger away the wetness from my cheek. “Zack had these long legs and watching him climb reminded me of a cheetah. It was like he was made for those trees.” I stare down at my feet, the crack in my heart seeming like a vast canyon. “God, he was so… stupid.” My eyes sting as I shake my head again and again. “Such a stupid, beautiful boy.” I try for a breath. Everything about it feels stale. “I just want him back. I want him to come home.”