“Thank you,” she said.
Varan tilted her chin up with one finger and studied her face, her eyes, and her lips. “May I?” he asked, taking a step closer.
Adelina couldn’t look away from him as the distance between them closed. “May you, what?”
Varan’s hand caressed her cheek and then threaded through her hair until he held her gently. Her breathing quickened and she realized what he meant. “I’d like to kiss you,” he murmured.
Adelina couldn’t speak she was so nervous. Instead she nodded. She wanted to feel what was between them as well. He didn’t bend to kiss her right away. The lines around his eyes smoothed when she gave her permission and he stared at her for a few seconds. She wondered if he looked for the features she never altered with her program, the soul behind the eyes that never changed no matter the color.
When he was satisfied with whatever he found, Varan smiled and leaned forward just enough to press his lips to hers softly. It surprised her, how gentle and caring he was. He took his time kissing her. Adelina’s hands wrapped around his biceps of their own volition and she took a step forward, closing the remaining distance between them.
The moment she kissed him back, Varan licked the seam of her lips, requesting entrance. It was so natural to open her mouth and let her tongue play with his. She felt a flutter in her belly. It wasn’t an explosion of lust and desire, but there was something there. The spicy scent of winterflowers relaxed her and the familiarity of him was like sipping on her favorite wine.
Her hands went up his arms and tickled the hair at the nape of his neck. It was soft, just like it had been all the times she’d tousled it before as his friend.
But this time was different. Adelina held onto him as he slowly explored her lips and her tongue. One strong arm wrapped around her back, holding her to him with the other hand buried in her hair.
Adelina’s desire built slow and steady until she nipped his bottom lip and her wolf practically howled for more.
Just as softly as he began, Varan gently disengaged and took a step back. Those gorgeous green eyes of his were dark and contemplative as he licked his lips. “Well…” he said. “That was not what I expected.”
She tried to fix her hair, tucking it back into place, but her lips tingled and her heart pounded. Adelina couldn’t help but touch her bottom lip as she stared at him. “What did you expect?”
“Nothing.” Varan shrugged. “I worried it might be like kissing Roxy.”
“You’ve kissed Roxy?” she teased.
Somehow Varan had steered them back into familiar territory, but Adelina still felt that desire. As Nadyah had said though, she could control her reaction now. It was Adelina’s choice if she wanted to go further or not.
The kiss had just been an experiment, but one that made her realize just how right Nadyah had been. She was just not built to be monogamous, and there was something freeing about accepting that, about Varan accepting that about her.
“We only kissed once, and we were both into our third drinks during the Winter Solstice.” Varan offered her his arm once more. “After so many cycles we were curious and drunk. It felt like kissing a wall.”
Adelina laughed as she tucked one more piece of hair behind her ear, checked her makeup, and straightened her dress. Then she took Varan’s arm and followed him back to the palace. “Well, I’m glad it wasn’t like kissing a wall.”
“It definitely wasn’t,” he murmured.
Adelina blushed and tried to focus on the next task. “Are you ready for the council meeting?”
Instantly the skin around his eyes tightened. “No, but let’s get it over with.”
She almost felt sorry for Varan, but this was her life, and if Raena chose him to marry her then it would be his as well. “Make sure not to draw attention to yourself,” she instructed. “Follow protocol precisely, and only speak if called on. A formal request to speak won’t be granted as you are not royal, or a noble ruler unless an appointment has been made.”
It was a lot to put on his shoulders, but Varan was intelligent and he watched council meetings on the livestream all the time.
“Last thing,” she told him as they walked up the stone steps to the terrace. “Don’t show emotion, and don’t react unless you think zero reaction would be more dangerous. Do not laugh or smile unless the smile is to be polite. Anything can be seen as weakness, or favoritism. You do not want Raena’s attention on you if you can help it, as such you will take Nadyah’s seat behind me with the guards.”
Varan’s face went utterly blank when they entered the palace.
“Perfect,” she murmured, slipping on her own smile. “Now, let’s enter the wolf’s den.”
The courtiers were finally up and about and with Varan by her side all eyes were on them as they made their way to the twelfth floor. Despite all the attention Varan didn’t waver or flinch. He kept that smile on his face, a perfect mask just like Adelina’s own.
There was a flurry among the people of the palace Adelina didn’t like, strained faces she couldn’t understand. Her grip tightened on Varan and he took a step closer to her, noting it as well.
“Adelina,” Alpha’s breathless voice startled her.
She ignored the way he frowned at the Prince of Thieves. “What is it?” she asked, voice tight as that feeling of foreboding rose up to choke her.
Alpha practically dragged them to the private royal lift, avoiding the main one she usually took. “The council meeting has been pushed up; there have been a few new developments. Get up there now.”
The doors slid open but she didn’t move. “Do you know what happened?”
Alpha shook his head and gently pushed them into the lift before selecting the right floor. “No one knows except Raena, but the way she’s been barking orders since breakfast…Asher warned me. Just go, they’re starting the meeting now.”
The doors closed and Adelina would never forget that look in Alpha’s eyes. It was a look of pity. He knew what had happened and then lied to her face about it.
“Should I stay out of the meeting?” Varan asked gently.
Alpha had lied to her. Her hand tightened on Varan’s and Adelina closed her eyes as she started those breathing exercises Nadyah had forced on her over and over again. She pushed back the tears as she rode the maelstrom of emotion and the sharp stinging pain in her heart. He’d lied to her, and it was something important – life altering. She needed someone on her side.
Varan was the one at her side, silently offering her his help and strength.
“Please stay with me,” she whispered, feeling the lift slow as they reached the twelfth floor. “That feeling I mentioned last night? It’s making me sick.”
One more deep breath and the shaking in her hands lessened. Adelina slowly let out the air and rolled her neck side to side. Everything was shoved down to deal with later. She needed her wits about her.