Harmony had noticed their hands under the table when she’d taken their plates. With a shake of her head, she’d given Kai a knowing grin, like she wasn’t at all surprised that April was getting what she wanted. It had taken a great deal of restraint to not tell her that he was only flirting with April because he’d been asked to. His heart wasn’t in it. Thinking of where his heart was really resting made Kai consider calling it a night.
Jessie had the same thought. Standing, she exaggerated a series of yawns and stretches. “Well, I should turn in. You’re welcome to stay, Kai, if you…”
Her voice trailed off as her new, taller angle allowed her to see Kai and April’s hands laced together. Kai had the strangest desire to rip his fingers away from April. He’d never intended to keep the contact going for so long, and now, if he yanked his hand away after being spotted by Jessie, it would be entirely too obvious why he was withdrawing. Jessie’s eyes widened as they lifted to his; she seemed heartbroken and relieved, all at once. Kai wanted to apologize, wanted to tell her that he didn’t want this…that he’d rather be holding her hand. But he knew he couldn’t say that. And Jessie knew it too, so she said nothing about the flirting. Giving him a soft smile, she responded with, “You can stay as long as you like. My home is your home.”
Her tone when she said it…well, it was the most loving thing he’d ever heard anyone say to him. Not able to take it anymore, he stood up, finally breaking the contact with April. Making a show of walking over to her in a friendly manner, he grinned as brightly as he could. “Well, again, thank you for dinner.” As he stepped in front of Jessie, his arms went around her waist. He hadn’t felt like a greeting hug was normal cousin behavior, but surely a goodnight hug wouldn’t raise suspicion.
Her arms came up, loosely at first and then exceedingly tight, almost painfully so. Angling his head away from the other two girls at the table, Kai closed his eyes and let the torrent of pain and longing fill him. Inhaling the scent of her, lavender and honey, and everything good and sweet in the world, he whispered, “I’m sorry.”
He felt Jessie nod, felt her body lightly shaking as she tried to contain the churning emotions that must be running rampant through her; Kai knew they were in him. Their hug was starting to get inappropriately long, so Kai forced himself to take a step back. “Goodnight, Jessie,” he said softly, hoping the ache he felt inside wasn’t evident in his voice.
He wanted nothing more than to pull her back into his arms, squeeze her tightly again, and never let her go, but he had to maintain the appearance of distance. He needed to look like he cared for her, without overly caring for her. It was an odd, fine, painful line. Slipping his hands into his back pockets, so he wouldn’t be tempted to touch her, he smiled and took another step back.
Her eyes were noticeably wet, and she had to blink several times to bring them back to even. With a smile that radiated abundant affection, she nodded. “Goodnight, Kai.” Her eyes flicked to April, who was using the opportunity to check her makeup in a mirror next to the dining room table. The sight saddened Kai for some reason; he preferred his cousin’s natural look. Her face without makeup was ten times more attractive than any cosmetic could ever hope to accomplish. She was…perfect.
Jessie’s eyes swept back to him. “I hope the rest of your evening goes well.” Her smile turned mournful, and Kai had to dig his fingers into his thighs to not hold her again.
She said goodnight to her friends and then walked down the hallway that must have led to her bedroom. Kai heard her door close and he was 100 percent certain that she was crying behind it. The thought killed him. This was too hard…and it hadn’t even started yet.
Just as he was about to rush into her room and tell her that he couldn’t do this, that he wouldn’t do this, Harmony stood up and stuck her hand out. “I’m going to bed, too. It was very nice to finally meet you, Kai.”
Shoving his torn heart to the back of his mind, he shook her hand. “You too.”
Harmony was inspecting him as they shook hands, and suddenly, an odd look crossed her face. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you seem so familiar to me.” She shook her head. “Have we met before?”
Kai felt heat rushing to his cheeks, but he made himself laugh as they separated. “Ever been to Hawaii?” he playfully asked. His heart was thudding in his chest while he waited for the puzzle pieces to snap into place, waited for her to remember that she’d seen him at the club…with Jessie.
Luckily, she didn’t.