Kai watched Jessie as discreetly as he could during dinner. She smiled and talked with everyone as if nothing was wrong, but Kai could see the excess moisture in her eyes, the tightness in her jaw. She was torn; she was hurting. He could see the pain, but even if he couldn’t, he would have known without a doubt that it was there, because he was torn, he was hurting. Yet again, they were both feeling the exact same way, and there was nothing either one of them could do about it.
As Jessie gave him a sideways glance before locking her eyes onto her plate, Kai internally sighed and looked over at Jessie’s roommate, April. She was definitely beautiful, with long black hair, dark eyes, full lips, a lean body, and an attitude that exuded confidence. But…Kai didn’t want to date her. Honestly, he didn’t want to date anyone. He just had too much going on right now. Well, no…if he were going to be completely honest, there was one girl he would gladly date, if she was a possibility. But, she wasn’t.
Kai nodded as he listened to the story April was telling. The flirtatious woman was sitting next to him at the table, across from Harmony and Jessie, and her palm was resting on his knee. Knowing she had the intention of asking him out later, and knowing Jessie wanted him to say yes when she did, Kai was letting her leave her hand there. It felt odd to him, though. Foreign, unwanted.
Picking at his food, Kai tried to make polite conversation with the group. While he did, he wondered if maybe Jessie was right. Maybe, with whatever was building between the two of them, it would be better for both Kai and Jessie if he distracted himself with a little female company. And Jessie liked April, otherwise she wouldn’t have asked him to date her. Maybe if Kai was seeing someone Jessie approved of, it would ease the transition. Just admitting that stung. Easing the transition meant making one, and even though he knew it needed to happen, he wasn’t ready.
Kai watched Jessie stick a piece of roast into her mouth. Her tongue flashed down to her lip, to swipe away some stray sauce, and a forlorn sigh escaped him. He wished he could feel her lips again, just one more time. At hearing his wistful exhale, Jessie’s eyes lifted to meet Kai’s. Reluctantly, he shifted his gaze to his plate. He shouldn’t think about that. It wasn’t helping anything for him to allow his thoughts to keep going down that path.
Popping some roast into his mouth, he smiled. He loved roast, it reminded him of lazy Sunday afternoons at his mom’s place. How did Jessie always seem to know just what to do? He never really had to tell her what he liked or what he needed. She just instinctively knew. She was so amazing.
Clearing his throat during a lull in the conversation, Kai looked up at her and said, “This is great, Jessie. Thank you.”
Jessie looked up and met his eye; her cheeks turned a slight shade of pink as she absorbed his praise. It was intoxicating. “Thank you,” she quietly replied. Glancing at her roommates, she quickly added, “I had help. Harmony made the salad.”
The lightly freckled girl grinned. Kai returned the smile but mentally kicked himself. Jessie was trying to keep some space between them by deflecting his compliment. He could try and do the same. “Well, it’s wonderful, thank you.”
April frowned as she dragged her fork over her plate. “I…offered to help,” she muttered, pouting in such an adorable way that Kai had to smile at her.
Wanting to do the right thing, the thing that his cousin had asked him to do, he fortified his needs and desires, reached his hand under the table, and rested his palm over April’s. She visibly brightened at the contact, and twisted her hand so she could lace their fingers together. Kai ignored the burning sensation of Jessie watching them and held April’s gaze. He knew Jessie couldn’t see their hands unless she looked under the table, but he still felt really horrible flirting in front of her. He’d only meant to make brief contact with April, to let her know that he wouldn’t reject her invitation later, but she’d latched onto his gesture with a firm grip. It would be rude to pull away now.
Forcing a smile, he politely told her, “I’m sure you helped in other ways.”
April giggled as she playfully bumped into his side. Kai heard Jessie sigh, but when he pulled his eyes from the Asian beauty beside him to look over at her, she was studying the remnants of food on her plate. Even though his appetite was completely gone, Kai quietly resumed eating.
After the meal, Harmony whisked the dishes away, and the foursome polished off the second bottle of wine. Relaxing back in his chair, Kai relentlessly watched Jessie. He wished he could talk to her, really make sure she was okay with this, but he didn’t see how he could get away from April now. The woman had a firm hold of his hand as she sipped her drink, and she was leaning into his side now, her cheeks flushed from the wine.