Nodding, he moved away from the door so he could open it. Proof and facts he could deal with. Something physical, something real. “Nothing right now is going to ease my mind,” he said as he yanked open the door. “But it will end the doubt.” Without meeting Mason’s eyes, he stormed through the door.
From behind him, he heard Mason sigh and say, “Yes it will, son. But are you ready for that?” And that was one question Kai already knew the answer to. No. He wasn’t ready at all.
Jessie was exhausted as she drove home for her lunch break. She was glad her next appointment had cancelled, and she didn’t have to go back to work for a while. There was something about the ambiance in her massage room—the soft flickering candlelight, the quiet soothing music—that reminded her of Kai. She already missed him, and he wasn’t even gone yet. But they weren’t seeing each other until their goodbye, so it was almost like he’d left already.
Jessie couldn’t even bring herself to think about what their last moment together would be like. She knew it was going to be awful, one of those cheesy, godforsaken movie moments where the woman blubbers uncontrollably while the man stoically walks away, never to be seen again. It was a scene that always made Jessie groan whenever she saw it, and now it was about to be her life. And she was positive that she would be just as much of a wreck as the fictional woman in the movie.
Just driving down the road with her hands safely at ten and two, her vision started to haze with unshed tears. She couldn’t seem to go much longer than an hour before the urge to cry started creeping up on her. Jessie blinked repeatedly to clear her sight. She had to be stronger than this, or else she’d never make it through the next couple of weeks.
Of course, it didn’t help that she hadn’t slept more than a few hours since racing home to see Kai. After their heart-wrenching conversation, Jessie had walked to a nearby café. She’d felt numb as she’d settled into a secluded corner, but then the tears had come, and she’d laid her head on the table and sobbed.
They’d finally said I love you, and it had been awful. Wonderfully awful. Being able to express their feelings had only made the situation that much crueler. It probably would have been better for both of them, if they’d never said it. Because now she knew. She’d wondered if he felt that way about her, and now there was no doubt. He loved her. She loved him. But that didn’t diminish the chasm between them. It was inescapable, as Kai had smoothly pointed out while professing his devotion.
I love you too…Jessica Marie.
Jessica Marie, the full name that only her family ever used with her. He’d made it crystal clear in that one sentence that while he loved her, ached for her, he wouldn’t be with her any more than she would be with him. And now he was leaving, and Jessie couldn’t sleep.
Jessie vaguely remembered a concerned elderly couple at the restaurant. Noticing her bloodshot eyes and distraught appearance, they’d kindly given her a ride home. Feeling empty inside, Jessie had thanked them for their graciousness. She’d thanked fate when she discovered that her roommates were still asleep; she didn’t want to answer their questions. She’d spent the rest of the afternoon staring at her ceiling while her mind spun.
Eventually Harmony had popped in and asked her how things had gone with Kai. Amazingly enough, Jessie had been able to shrug…and lie. She hated herself for doing it, but she told Harmony that a childhood friend of Kai’s had been seriously injured, and his prognosis didn’t look good. Harmony had been appropriately shocked. The story allowed her to be melancholy around her roommates without too many raised eyebrows. It also created a convincing reason for Kai to return home. Jessie had told her friends that Kai was making arrangements to go back and spend some time with his friend…and then she said he wasn’t sure if he would return. Harmony had hugged her after she’d admitted that; Jessie hadn’t been able to stop the tears.
Sighing at how dramatic her life had become lately, Jessie glumly pulled onto her street. She planned on spending her entire extended lunch break blankly staring at the TV. She didn’t even care what was on; she just wanted to not think for a while.
But when she approached her house, all thoughts of doing anything left her. Her heart started to race as she neared her driveway. Jessie couldn’t believe what she was seeing, and briefly considered the possibility that in her exhaustion, she’d fallen asleep at the wheel and was having a vivid dream. That scenario seemed far more plausible than what she was looking at.
Resting in the driveway, where April usually parked her Jetta, was Kai’s vibrant motorcycle.