“The worst part…the absolute worst part…is they all knew.” He shrugged. “My parents have known since I was young. My mom somehow knew since I was born. And they all lied to me. They all let me believe…” His eyes brightened with rage, and he turned his head from her.
Jessie calmly returned his gaze to her. Soothingly rubbing her thumb against his skin, she told him, “You were a child, Kai. They probably didn’t want to upset you like that at such a young age.”
Kai dropped his gaze. “It doesn’t feel any easier now.” He peeked back up at her. “And they sent me to…to my real father, so he could tell me.” He shook his head, and a tear finally dropped to his cheek, around her fingers. “After all this time, they still couldn’t do it.” Bringing his hand out from under the blankets, he pointed across the room to the mountain range he’d left behind this morning. “They sent me to a stranger and let him rip my life apart.” He dropped his hand, defeated. “Why would they do that?”
Jessie dried his cheek and pulled him into a hug. “I don’t know, Kai. It couldn’t have been an easy decision for them. And it’s probably been tearing them up, waiting to hear if you…knew.”
Kai pulled back from her suddenly, his eyes wide with understanding. “That’s why.” His gaze drifted over her shoulder as his mind made some mental connection. “That’s why my mom always asks about work, always asks if I like my boss. She’s been waiting to hear if he…” Kai sighed and closed his eyes. “And my dad…no wonder he’s been so distant lately. They were both waiting for me to…to suddenly hate them or something.” Opening his eyes, he shook his head. “Their entire reason for arranging for me to be out here was a lie. How am I supposed to feel about that?”
Jessie ran her fingers down his shoulder to grab his hand again; it was finally warm. “Angry. Hurt. Confused.” She shook her head. “Whatever you’re feeling right now is just what you should be feeling, and it’s okay to feel it.” Kai stared at her a moment, then nodded. Jessie sighed as she gazed at their joined fingers. “Do you think…Grams…knows?”
She peeked up at him when she heard his weary exhale. “Yeah…I think she does. She stopped coming around when my parents got divorced. I didn’t think much about it until I was older, and then I just figured she didn’t like someone hurting her son…” Hanging his head, he shrugged. “But that wasn’t entirely it. She hates my mom because she knows about the affair. Because she knows about me.”
Jessie lowered her head to look up at his face. “You can’t know that. Divorces happen for all sorts of reasons, Kai. She didn’t necessarily know. Your dad might not have told her.”
Kai’s features smoothed to blankness and his voice lost all emotion. “She asks if I’m happy at work almost every time I see her. Why would she do that…if she wasn’t waiting for me to be suddenly unhappy?”
Jessie looked away, thinking. He was right. Grams always seemed like she was waiting for Kai to have a breakdown. In fact, she was always telling Jessie that she needed to stay close to Kai, that he needed the two of them. Jessie had just assumed that she’d meant in the grand scheme of things, they needed each other, but she hadn’t. She’d specifically meant that once Kai found out the truth about his father, he would need their support.
Compassion for Kai flooded through her. Everyone he was closest to had kept this from him. She slowly nodded. “You’re right…she knows, she’s always known.”
Kai’s face crumpled into a worn, heartbroken expression that tugged on Jessie’s soul; she hated seeing him in pain. Closing his eyes, he leaned into her side. “I’m so glad I have you, Jessie. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Jessie’s eyes started to brim with tears. Not able to stand his grief anymore, she pulled him in for another hug. Kai buried his head into her shoulder as he held her tight. Gently rocking him, Jessie warmed and comforted him the best she could. She wasn’t really sure how to help him though. How do you help someone who just found out that the person they believed was a family member their entire life…wasn’t family at all?
A sudden realization struck Jessie to her core. He…wasn’t family. Not to Jessie. Genetically speaking, Kai was as much of a stranger to Jessie as Jeremy had been. Every muscle tensed as stiff as stone, as she finally comprehended what Kai’s news meant for the two of them.
Confused by the rigidness in her body, Kai pulled back to stare at her. “Jessie?” he whispered, searching her eyes for some clue of what was wrong.
Jessie didn’t know what to feel. She’d wanted him for so long, but he had always been out of reach. Taboo. But now…while they would still seem like cousins to most, they weren’t. That changed a lot. That changed everything.
“We’re not related, Kai,” she murmured, her voice as dazed as his had been earlier.