Jessie’s eyes flew open. Her heart raced as foreboding flooded through her. Looking around, she tried to recall where she was. She didn’t remember falling asleep, but she was sure she hadn’t been lying down anywhere, and as her arms curled tighter around her legs, all she knew with certainty was that she was lying down.
Her hand stretched out to touch the heavy quilt on top of her and reason started to filling in the blanks of her memory. She was in one of the lodge’s rooms. But whose room was it? Dread washed over her in waves. Had a stranger carried her back to their suite…for who knows what? The rational side of her brain immediately told her that was ridiculous. Women who were absconded weren’t tucked into rooms in the same hotel where they were staying. No, if something nefarious had happened to Jessie, she would have woken up in the back of a van, gagged and tied.
Relieved that at the very least she was safe, she slowly sat up. In the early morning light of dawn, she could clearly see that she was back in her own room. Logically, that could only mean one thing: Kai had found her, picked her up, and gently put her to bed. She’d been so out of it, physically and emotionally drained, that she hadn’t even noticed her cousin’s loving attention.
Her cousin.
Her heart squeezing in pain, she looked around the room for him. They should talk about what happened. They should talk about what they were going to do next. Jessie was so torn on the matter, she felt like two different people. Half of her wanted to tell Kai that it was one of the greatest nights of her life. She wanted to beg him to forget everyone else, to forget all the taboos, and let the love between them grow unrestrained. The other half of her wanted to spend a good hour in the bathroom, scrubbing every inch of him off her. No matter how much they cared for each other, there was something intrinsically sick and wrong about what they’d done. The “ick” factor was too strong to ignore…or forget.
She’d made love to her cousin.
Jessie had spent a good chunk of last night crying—horrified over what they’d done, but mostly, aching. She wanted him, she needed him, she loved him…and he was just out of reach. Unobtainable. It was like a railroad spike had been wedged right in the middle of her heart. She couldn’t pull it out, and she couldn’t leave it in there. How the hell did they move on now?
As she finally noted the emptiness of the room, her uneasiness returned. Where was he? The space in front of the fireplace was empty, and the bag that had been tossed beside the table under the window was gone. Its absence alarmed Jessie the most. Had he left the lodge? Would he really take off without saying goodbye, without talking to her about what had happened?
Jessie shot up off the bed. Lamely, she searched every nook and cranny of the room hoping to find him, and hoping that if she couldn’t, it was only because he was out getting some coffee, and any second he’d walk back through the door. But all of his things were gone, and there was no trace of him left in the room. Even still, Jessie clung to the hope that he had just changed rooms, and he was still here in the lodge somewhere. Then she found his note.
She’d almost overlooked the pad of paper sitting alone ominously on the desk. But then she’d noticed the swirling handwriting splashed across the page, and stopped dead in her tracks. Letters left behind for people to find were seldom filled with good things. Jessie’s heart thudded in her chest as she tentatively approached the pad of paper. Scared of what it might say, she slowly began reading it.
My dearest Jessie,
I know it’s too little, too late, but I’m so sorry about last night. That shouldn’t have happened, and I promise you, it won’t ever happen again. I’m making sure of it this time. I decided to go home. I just couldn’t stay, and I’m so sorry for that. I wish you only the best, cousin. I’m going to miss you so much.
Love always,
Kai