Kai emerged from the shower clean if not refreshed, but now that his body smelled like the lodge’s generic body wash, he missed the lingering trace of Jessie on his skin. Missed it a lot. Wrapping himself in a towel, he hesitated at the bathroom door. Should he really walk into the room like this, if she was back from her walk? And where did she go, anyway? Kai hoped she hadn’t gone walking around outside. Bad things could happen to pretty girls who wandered in the middle of the night.
Worry spurring his actions, he rushed into the main part of the suite only to find it empty. He looked around for any sign that Jessie had come back, but everything was exactly how they’d left it. Even their discarded pajamas were still strewn beside the fireplace. Setting his mouth into a hard line, he shut off the stupid, overly romantic firelight. He’d rather be cold than be reminded of what had happened. Picking up their clothes, he shoved them into open bags. Then he folded up the blanket and put it away. Kai couldn’t sleep on it now, not when the image of Jessie’s pale skin draped across it was burned into his brain.
Without bothering the pretense of getting any sleep tonight, Kai changed into casual clothes. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he played with his hands while he waited for Jessie to come back. He wasn’t sure what he would say to her. He was sorry? It seemed like such a tiny word now, one that had lost all its meaning, since they’d used it so much. Plus, she’d technically kissed him first. But then again, he’d stoked her to a boiling point with his damn evocative talk, and even after she’d asked him to stop…
Jesus. None of that should have happened. He should have moved away from her, said goodnight, and let that be the end of it. He should have ignored the warmth and love in the room and they should have gone their separate ways. That was how the evening was supposed to play out. Not like this, with both of them disgusted, and hating themselves for caving into temptation.
Kai sighed as he slumped over his knees. He really didn’t like to think of Jessie all alone out there, struggling through this emotional tidal wave on her own. Was she sobbing now? She’d been lightly crying in the room. And damn it, hadn’t he thought earlier in the evening that he never wanted to make her cry again? How quickly he’d ruined that.
Standing up, Kai started pacing. Maybe Jessie had gone to Harmony and April’s room. Maybe she’d finally confessed to them that she had horrible feelings for her cousin. Maybe she’d told her friends she was in love with him. And he knew now that she was. She hadn’t said it, but he’d seen the look in her eyes as she’d said goodnight. She was in love with him, in the same sick, twisted way that he was in love with her. Kai wished she wasn’t. It would be so much easier for her if her problem was only that she was attracted to him.
But they were in love. Deeply in love.
Kai watched the clock as he ceaselessly roamed the room, wondering when she’d come back. He wished he knew exactly where she was. Even though his stomach felt like it had been turned inside out, he still needed to know she was okay. The window showed a dark sky outside, with movement in the inky black that suggested it was still snowing. Kai wouldn’t get through the night if he didn’t know if Jessie was out there or not. He needed to know she was safe.
As Kai strolled out to the lobby, he wondered where to go first. The lights were low since most of the guests were sleeping. It was pretty late, but the bars were still open, so Harmony and April might not even be back yet. Walking up to the glass front doors, Kai tried to peer out to the parking lot, to see if he could spot Harmony’s car. It was dark though, and the thick snowflakes obscured his vision. While he couldn’t differentiate between the colors of the cars in the dull orange parking lot lights, all of them looking varying shades of gray, Harmony’s had a wheel cover on the back and dark, bug deflector on the front. None of the vehicles he saw matched.
Sighing, he turned back to the lobby. If the girls weren’t back yet, maybe Jessie had somehow managed to get the front desk to give her a key, and had snuck into the room, waiting for them to come back. He had to know, and that meant, he needed into Harmony and April’s room. Determined to be the suave, sexy, flirtatious man who could get any woman do to anything he wanted them to do—which was going to be stretch for Kai—he started walking up to the front desk. He didn’t expect the girl who had checked him in earlier to still be there, but he was hoping her replacement would cave into a set of sea-green eyes. Eyes that Jessie loved.