“Thank you, Father,” Elizabeth and I said in unison.
Neither of us spoke for a few moments after the shutting of the door. The silence continued to grow as my trepidation waned and shock grew. Finally I squeezed Elizabeth’s hand one more time and whispered, “Holy shit!”
“Sara!” Elizabeth exclaimed with a giggle. “Don’t let Brother Jacob or any other man hear you speak that way.”
“But Father Gabriel was here! Oh, I need to tell Jacob.” I stood and took a step toward my bed. “Elizabeth, I need clothes. Do I have clothes here? I can’t go to service in a nightgown and robe.” Falling back to the edge of the bed, I doubled forward and held my head. “Oh my gosh! Will I be punished for wearing this when he visited?”
“That’s up to Brother Jacob, but you didn’t have much choice. It wasn’t like he announced he was coming.” She was speaking from across the room, near my closet. “You have a skirt and sweater here, but I don’t think you should change without . . .”
“I know, without Jacob’s knowledge.” My voice sounded defeated, even to me. “Be honest, please. Will Jacob be upset? Did I really question Father Gabriel?”
“I can’t presume to answer for Brother Jacob, but you recovered beautifully.” She sat beside me and gently elbowed my good side. “Father Gabriel even smiled at your response.”
He smiled? Is that good?
“Who was the other person, and why didn’t he announce himself? That’s rude. It’s obvious I can’t see.”
Elizabeth reached for my knee and lowered her voice. “Sara, I want to help you. I’m trying, but you need to be mindful. If we weren’t friends, I could share this with Luke, and he’d tell Brother Jacob. The other person was Brother Timothy, and you should remember that a man doesn’t owe us his words. He grants them. Your saying that he was rude makes you prideful. And the language you used makes you vulgar.”
A tear escaped my bandages and slid down my cheek. “That’s what I don’t understand. I’m not good at this. I’m really not.”
Elizabeth’s arms wrapped around my shoulders and pulled me toward her. “You are. You were, and you’ll get better again. I won’t say anything, but you should.”
“What?” I pulled away and sat straight.
“Our husbands can’t be with us all the time. If we’re honest about our transgressions when they’re away, it shows them that we are trustworthy.”
Prideful and vulgar?
More tears joined the stream. “No, I’m supposed to be at service tonight. I don’t want Jacob upset with me. I need him. If I tell him, he’ll be angry.”
“He won’t be upset. However, if he thinks your behavior warrants punishment, he’ll handle it. Besides, other than walking you to your seat, he can’t be with you at service.”
“He can’t?” I asked.
“No, he sits with the Assemblymen. As wives of the Assembly, we sit together just behind the Commission wives.”
“So that’s why Father Gabriel told you to assist me? You’ll be with me?”
“With Luke’s permission I will. So will Raquel. I believe Brother Benjamin will also approve.”
I reached out and patted her leg. The material of her jeans made me think. “You’re wearing jeans?”
“I am.” She giggled. “That’s a subject change.”
“I guess it is. Why do I have a skirt?”
“Well, you have jeans too, if that’s what you’re asking. I’ve seen you wear them. I’d guess that Brother Jacob thought a skirt would be easier with your cast.” Oh, that makes sense. “And we all wear dresses or skirts to service, even in this cold weather,” she added. “Most of us are more casual for evening prayer. There’re some who feel the need to always be dressed up. I’m sure you’ve noticed the high heels. I mean, we wear most everything we did in the dark, within reason. All the fashions in our store are approved first by the Commission. Our bodies are our temples, and we don’t share that with anyone but our husbands.”
She stood and continued, “With as cold as it’s been, whether we’re at evening prayer or our jobs, most women of The Light wear jeans and warm boots. Truthfully, modesty is dictated by Father Gabriel, but the particulars are up to our husbands. You wore jeans and warm boots before. I don’t know why that would change.”
I nodded. Of course it is up to him. Everything seems to be up to my husband.
“Sara, it’s still early in the afternoon. Service isn’t until seven. I’ll speak with Luke about assisting you, and he’ll talk to Jacob.”
Suddenly the memory of what Sister Lilith had said about the Assembly wives came back. “Elizabeth?”
“What?”
“Are you appalled by me?”
“What? No!”
“Do the other wives of the Assembly hate me?”
“Of course not. Father Gabriel doesn’t preach hate.” She wrapped her arms around me and hugged. “We’re all sisters.”
I smiled a sad smile. “Thank you.”
“As long as Luke approves, I won’t leave your side. Who knows? Maybe you’ll recognize the voices.”
I nodded.
Maybe?