Instead of You

He closed the fridge and gave me a concerned look. “Sure. Is everything all right?”

“Yeah, I just have a few things to tell you.” I tried my best to give him a confident smile, but on the inside I was being torn up from all the nerves. He led me to his bedroom and we sat on the edge of his bed. I couldn’t help but glance behind me, looking at the place we’d been together the last time he’d brought me here. Memories of that night flooded my brain and I could feel my cheeks blushing. His fingers gently gripped my chin and he brought his eyes level with mine.

“Don’t fade out on me now, Kenz. What’s up?”

I took in a deep breath and then decided to just spit the words out. “I got accepted to Central Florida University, and I just wanted you to know. I don’t know exactly what your plans are for next year, or the next four, but it looks like I’ll be here. I’m not expecting anything from you, but I’m hoping there’s a way to make this work because I’m not ready to give you up just yet.”

His fingers tightened on my chin slightly, not allowing me to look away from him. “You got your college acceptance letter? Babe, that’s amazing. I’m so proud of you.” He leaned in and kissed me gently, his hand moving from my chin to cup the back of my neck. “That’s a big deal, McKenzie.” His words were warm and sincere, and I let out a small breath of relief. “You’re going to love it here.”

“What does this mean for us?” I asked with more bravery than I realized I had. “Whatever your answer is, I’ll accept it. But I can’t sit on your bed kissing you if I don’t know what’s happening down the road.”

“You’re going to go to school here and I’m going to try to find a job here. Nothing will change, Kenzie, except that we’ll be able to really be together.”

“What if you can’t find a job here? What if the only job you can get is far away?”

“We can’t think about the what-ifs, babe. You asked me what my plans were, and the only thing I see in my future is you. I’ll stay in my apartment, you’ll live in the dorms with your girlfriends, and next year is going to be great. The best year of your life, I bet.” He played with a loose tendril of my hair, then said, “We just have to be sure to always make our relationship a priority. You’re going to get busy, and I’m definitely going to get busy, but we need to try to remember us, right now, worried we’ll grow apart, and make sure it doesn’t happen.”





Chapter Twenty-four


Hayes


A loud buzzing noise woke me, startling me from sleep. Kenzie’s warm body was draped over mine, our legs intertwined, her face resting on my chest. It was the best way to wake up—aside from the buzzing. I gently eased out from under her limbs, trying hard not to wake her. I made it off the bed and she rolled away from me, her hair trailing across my pillow, bare back on display, blanket only covering her from the waist down. It was practically every fantasy I’d had since I was twenty—to wake up next to McKenzie Harris. To be allowed to see her uncovered and bare. The gift she gave me every time I was allowed to touch her, to be with her, was something I’d never be able to repay her for or give back to her. The simple gift of her was priceless.

I found my jeans on the floor and dug around in the pockets for my phone, the darkness not helping. When I finally got hold of it and powered up the screen, my heart immediately started pounding in my chest. Ten missed calls. Twenty-seven new text messages. Something was wrong.

Every single call and text was from Mrs. Harris. I didn’t bother listening to the voice mails or reading the texts, I simply called her back. The phone rang as I stepped into the hallway, but it only rang once.

“Hayes?”

“Mrs. Harris, what’s wrong?”

“Oh, Hayes,” she cried. Immediately my lungs shut down and my heart skipped a million beats. “It’s your mom….” Her words trailed off because she was crying too hard to continue.

“What is it? Is she all right?” I was panicking, pacing the length of my living room, but also flashing back to the night Mr. Harris had called me and told me to come home. The night Cory and Dad died. “Did she… is she….”

“She’s alive, Hayes. But you need to come home. She was taken by ambulance to the hospital. I don’t know if she’ll….”

“I’ll leave right away,” I said hastily, heading back into my bedroom. “Please, promise me you’ll keep me posted.” I flipped on the light, sorry I had to wake McKenzie that way, but unable to move slowly. “I can’t handle driving home again not knowing if she’s dead or alive. Please, Mrs. Harris.”

“I’ll text you when I know something.” Her words sounded sad, I knew she didn’t want to have to tell me my mother had died. I was hoping she wouldn’t have to either.

“What happened?” This came from McKenzie, who’d been woken up by the light and my voice. She sat up in the bed, her hair falling around her face, her eyebrows scrunched inward with worry. I pressed the speaker button on my phone.