“What do you think? You say you were going to break up with her, but you didn’t. You waited until she did it first. You have Border here, and frankly, I won’t be used as a scapegoat.”
“I think that I’m too tired to deal with this.”
She snorted. Typical. “Fine. But I’m still your best friend so if you want to get a drink and talk this out, let me know. And if you want me to help you bash her? Well, I can do some of that, but there’s got to be a girl code or some shit that says I can’t. Oh, and Jake? Next time you come in here like you did, just tell me what’s wrong. We’ve always been good with things like that, and yet you’ve…” She trailed off. Mentioning that things were weird when they both already knew that wouldn’t help anything.
“Maya,” Jake growled, his eyes closed and his head resting back over the chair. “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing.”
“Then you better figure it out, Jake. Because you know I’ll always be by your side, but I can’t be that person if you change things.”
She’d already changed things on her end, but that was her fault, and she’d deal. She hadn’t altered her relationship with Jake, not really. And there was no way she’d actually do that without knowing full well the consequences. Because right now, her brain hurt, and the shell she wore was cracking. Jake didn’t know what he wanted. Maya sure as hell didn’t. And then there was Border. Where was he? What did he want? And why hadn’t she met him yet?
There was too much riding on what came next, and that meant she had to postpone the inevitable until they were all thinking a little more clearly.
“I don’t know what I want,” Jake said finally.
Maya took a deep breath. “Then go home, and I’ll see you soon. Because I know it sucks to be dumped. I know that you’re hurting right now, but I won’t be the person you hit because you’re in pain.”
Jake snorted. “I thought that was what best friends were for.”
She shook her head, her eyes annoyingly burning. “We’re the ones that can handle the harshest of blows, but that also means we know exactly where to hit the other.” She paused. “Go home, Jake. Call me when you need me.”
Jake stood up and stared at her. She tilted her head so she could meet his gaze. He was so tall here, so intimidating. This Jake scared her, scared how it changed what could happen. She wasn’t sure she was ready to face that and what it meant.
“I don’t know what I need, Maya. I don’t know if that means you.”
She let the words bounce off her shell. She would not be hurt by them. “Then figure it out because I’m not your fucking punching bag.” She nodded toward the door. “You know the way out.”
He sighed and made his way to the door. “I love you, Maya. You know that right.”
She did, and it hurt. “Yeah, and I love you, too. Now go.”
He opened his mouth to say something but apparently thought better of it before walking out and leaving her alone with her thoughts. Her shell would hold; she would be the Maya she liked, not the one who asked for permission to feel, to ache. Because this Maya only felt what she wanted to, and pain for the man who’d just walked out of the room would not be part of it.
She was fine.
And if she told herself that one more time, she’d kick her own ass.
Maya let out a breath. Something had shifted between the two of them, and she didn’t know what that meant. And she wasn’t sure she wanted to find out. There were some things you never came back from, and this seemed like one of those times.
Chapter Six
Border needed to hit something. Anything. It had been almost two weeks since he’d shown up in Denver to try and figure out his future, and all he’d found was a closed door and a path leading to broken promises.
He’d thought he’d left that behind when he’d hightailed it out of Denver in the first place, but apparently, the old saying was true, and one could never truly outrun their past.
What was he doing there? He’d been sleeping in Jake’s guest room for two weeks, but hadn’t talked to the man beyond simple pleasantries. He’d never told Jake he was sorry for leaving, never told him that he’d felt more than just friendship in the past.
Jake never asked where Border had been all those years, and Border had never offered up the information. It was as if there was a wall between them he couldn’t quite fix or figure out. It was his fault that there was weirdness between them, but Jake wasn’t helping. Ever since Holly had broken up with him, he’d been even more growly than usual. Of course, since Border didn’t really know the man as much as he’d known the boy when they’d been friends before, this could just be Jake’s normal attitude. But he had a feeling it wasn’t. And he had feeling that this wasn’t just about Holly.