I let out a laugh as a memory popped into my head. “Do you remember what we used to do for fun in high school?”
I smiled bigger as I thought about the trouble we used to get into. “That plow race you had with Mitchell Worington. You were bound and determined to win. I begged you not to do it. The idea of you getting caught and having the wrath of your granddaddy come down on you was a scary thought. You assured me you would be okay, the plow would be okay and that you would win.”
My stomach sunk at the memory. “You were right. You won and your granddaddy never found out.”
My eyes closed as I let all the memories of Emmit and I growing up together sweep through my mind.
“The time we got stuck in the mud and you insisted if we waited long enough the mud would harden.” Opening my eyes, I looked out the window and let the moment surround me. “We crawled through the back window of your truck and laid in the bed and watched the stars.”
Shaking my head, I glanced at Emmit. He looked so peaceful. “You know I knew you had that planned. No one carries that many quilts in their truck.”
A tear slowly made its way down my cheek as I lifted Emmit’s hand to my lips and spoke against softly. “It was the most magical night of my life, Emmit. It was the first time you and I became one.” Sobs over took my body as I pressed my lips to the back of his hand.
“I’m so sorry I left you again. I was so confused, Emmit. I knew in my heart though it wasn’t true. I’m so sorry I didn’t listen to it. Please forgive me, Emmit. Please.”
My tears were soaking the sheet on the bed as I cried. No amount of tears or pleas would ever make up for the hurt I’ve caused this man. I didn’t deserve him.
“I want a do-over.”
My head jerked up as I tried to see through the blurriness of my tears.
My stomach clenched at the sound of his voice. I was sure I had imagined him talking. Emmit’s eyes were closed and he wasn’t moving.
“W-what did you say, Emmit?”
Without opening his eyes, he squeezed my hand and spoke softly. “I want a do-over.”
The chair pushed across the floor as I stood up and leaned over. “Baby, what are you talking about? Emmit, can you open your eyes?”
Emmit’s gray eyes caught my blue as he stared at me with such intensity.
I dropped his hand and quickly reached for the nurses’ button.
“Wait. Before you bring in the whole team to tell me why my head hurts like a motherfucker, I want to say something to you.”
My lips trembled as my entire body tightened in fear. He was going to tell me to leave. That what I did to him was unforgiveable.
Tears flowed from my eyes again. I was prepared to fight for our love. I’d made a mistake again and I would own up to it, but I wouldn’t let him throw it away like I almost had.
I slowly sat back down in the chair and tried to wipe the endless tears away. “O-okay,” I whispered as chewed on my lower lip.
“My head hurts so damn much,” Emmit said as he lifted his hand and felt the bandage.
Trying to find my voice, I finally managed to say, “You were hit over the head with an unopened beer can by one of Malcolm’s fans.”
Emmit let out a sigh. “Fucking, Malcolm.”
My lower lip was going to be bruised with how I was tearing it apart.
Emmit turned and looked at me. I wasn’t sure how to read his eyes. They were . . . empty. Looking down at my hands in my lap, I began talking. “I’ll understand if you’d like for me to leave, Emmit. I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me for running away again. It’s just, I overheard the conversation between you and Stephanie and from my perspective, it sounded as if—”
My hand came up as I wiped my tears away again. “I knew in my heart you hadn’t cheated on me.”
“Why did you leave then?” Emmit asked.
Before I was able to answer, he looked away from me. “It doesn’t matter. None of it matters anymore.”
My heart dropped, and I knew in that moment I had lost the only man I’d ever loved.
THE SOUND OF ADALINE’S VOICE caused my heart to feel light again. A warm sensation spread through my body as she talked about us growing up. When she brought up the night we had first made love, my eyes automatically opened. The light in the room hitting my eyes felt like a million knives stabbing me in the back of my head.
My heart ached as I listened to her talk. Hearing her say she knew I didn’t cheat on her was sweet music to my ears. She must have finally listened to the damn messages I left.
“Why did you leave?” I asked before looking away. What was I doing? It didn’t matter why she left. What mattered was she came back. “It doesn’t matter. None of it matters anymore.”
The sharp intake of air from Adaline caused me to look back at her. Her face was white as a ghost as she stared at me in disbelief while I asked, “Did you listen to my messages finally?”
My body went rigid when she shook her head. “I didn’t listen to them.”