“Hey. I’m heading to my ranch in Alabama for the weekend. Thought maybe a change of scenery might do you good. Call me if you’d like to go.” That’s it. Short and to the point. No flirtation in his tone at all. I know Harris all too well. My intuition about him knowing there is something going on between Kaleb and I is spot on. Kaleb told him. I know he did, and I should wring his thick, muscular, corded neck for opening his big mouth, but instead I feel relieved. I’m not in the mood for Harris and his sexual advances. What I am in the mood for is a nice weekend away. Riding horses, which I’ve never done before in my life.
Dialing Mallory, I prepare for the chaos of her excitement. She's exactly whom I need to be around right now, but she's the one person, who can read straight through my emotions. She’ll never ask specifics; she’ll just get that I've had a rough time.
“Did you really wait twenty-four hours to check in with me? Jade Elliott, there'd better be a story about one hot night of sex as an explanation of yourself.”
“Hi Mal, I'm home.” I avoid her interrogation and try to move the conversation along. I’m going to keep everything I’ve been through with Maverick to myself. She’d get caught up in the would-haves and should-haves and drive me insane.
“Tell me you're on your way here now! I’m going to take the next few days off if you are.” Mal may get excited about things and cause me to internally flinch at her energy, but honestly, she’s exactly what I need right now. Girl time will do me wonders after being around so much constant testosterone.
“I'm going to stop by my parents’ house for a few days maybe. But what I really need to do is stand my ass in a hot shower for hours.”
“Your parents?” She knows this is a very awkward situation for me and that I haven’t spoken with them in a while. It’s been nearly two years since Jason's funeral, and I think I've only talked to them twice. I just couldn't handle looking at the loss in my mom's eyes when my heart matched her emotions exactly. I know she was worried I'd turn up the same, but what she doesn't understand is, I was already just like Jason before he died. There's not possibly any way I could become more like the guy I looked up to my entire childhood. He was my hero. He fought for my country and for my freedom.
He would share stories with me he wouldn't share with anyone else. I was his outlet and through all of that, we shared a closeness I've never felt with either of my other three brothers. A part of me died when he died.
“Yes. It’s time. I miss them.” She doesn't continue to question me. If she wants to know any more than that, she doesn’t ask. She knows I can't tell her anything about where I’ve been or what I’ve done. I need quiet time to myself to sort all of this out before I see her.
“And then you're mine!”
“Yep.” My mind slips back to Kaleb with the word mine. The way he said he wanted me to be his and the way he has a way of claiming me every time we're together frustrates me. This trip will do me good.
“Hey. How do you feel about Alabama?”
I ask, quickly pulling my thoughts from everything Kaleb. I can't think about him right now. The need to get my life back on track has to come before him, or any man for that matter.
“Is this a trick question?”
“No. One of the Captains from my team invited me to his ranch for a few days. How does a road trip sound?”
“It sounds damn perfect. I think it's exactly what I need!”
“Alright, get packed up, we’re leaving Friday, so I'll let you know more details after I talk to Harris.”
“Oh, he sounds cute.”
“What makes you think it's a guy?”
“Because I'm your only female friend, Jade. We both know you roll with men better than women in the grand scheme of life.” She's right. Shit, I can't think of any other woman I've actually remained friends with over the years. We just generally don't have much in common. Partly due to the fact I’m a soldier and most of them are wives of soldiers. I don’t really know why, but she’s right.
“I'll let you decide that for yourself. I'll see you after I go see my parents, then we’ll talk more. If it goes well, I’ll stay with them, if not I’ll be home sooner.” God, I need to talk to them. I know things will be awkward with the way I left. I know without a doubt that my parents love me, they love us all. It’s me who is dealing with more guilt than I’m willing to carry anymore. It’s time I at least attempt to be strong enough to handle the look on my mom’s face when she speaks of him. The elicit effect from what I’d done triggered my stubbornness into reality. I should’ve been there for him. I owe my parents the respect they deserve. I owe them the right to see their daughter.
“Jade, I'm so excited that you're home, but I hope it goes well and I don't see you for a few more days.” Her attitude turns serious.
“I know. Me too.” I'm not excited about anything, but I have to fake it. I am hopeful though. I'm hopeful I can make amends with a few things in my life. My parents are the first step to being successful in that.