I grinned, the wine from the restaurant buzzing through my veins just enough to relax me.
He chuckled. “Don’t ask me that.”
I pulled him closer to me, swinging my stool around until I could rest my knees against his thighs. He was technically between my legs, yet he wasn’t touching anything that was begging for his touch.
He reached out, fingering a strand of my hair. “I’ve never been this way with a woman before.”
“What way?”
“This way,” he said, motioning back and forth between us. “It’s always been just sex and nothing else.”
I leaned back. “I’m sorry.”
“No. I like it. I like what we are doing.”
I had no idea what it was we were doing. I knew where my mind was, but I wasn’t sure about where his was. I didn’t want to think something was there that wasn’t.
“What exactly are we doing?” I asked, afraid his answer would hurt me.
I was well past caring for Matthew. I had fallen. I just wasn’t sure how far I’d fallen yet.
“We’re spending time together. Getting to know each other. Then we’ll see where it goes, I guess.”
“Where it goes sexually, or where it goes emotionally?”
He leaned in, pressing his lips to mine sweetly. “Both,” he said against my mouth. Moving his lips to my cheek, he pressed yet another kiss there. “I’m not hiding from you, Shannon. I can be honest. It’s no secret I want to have sex with you. You’re driving me crazy physically, but more times than not, I’m not thinking about sex when I’m with you.”
I swallowed, feeling my heart kick into overdrive. “What are you thinking about?”
He kissed my ear before leaning back and looking me in the eye. “I’m thinking about how special you are. How you’re more to me than just a quick fuck.”
Grabbing him by the sides of his face, I pulled him in to kiss me. Our mouths molded together, and I lost my fingers in the hair on the back of his head. Sliding to the edge of the stool, I opened my legs wider, allowing him to slide deeper between my legs. My dress scrunched up my thighs, and the cool air was making my skin pebble.
I pushed forward, rubbing myself on the front of his pants, needing to feel the friction there. He pulled back, his mouth swollen and wet, and his eyes wide and willing.
“If you’re not ready, I understand. We can stop. Just say the words.”
My response was pulling him back to me and kissing him hard. I wanted him. I was done waiting. He was the one. He was who I wanted. I had known for a while, but it was time I acted on it.
My hands slid down his back until they were resting on his hips. I tugged him forward, enjoying the feel of his hard cock rubbing on me through our clothes.
“Oh God, that feels good,” I mumbled.
Reaching between us, I began to unbuckle his belt. I wanted to have sex with him, but more than anything, I wanted to touch him. Caress his hardness. Feel his heat.
Once he was unbuckled, unbuttoned, and unzipped, I pushed down on his boxers and pants until his cock popped out and fell against my inner thigh.
It was hot against my skin, and the feel of skin on skin made me moan in pleasure.
“Are you sure about this, Shannon?” he asked again, desperation lacing every word.
“God, yes. I’m so sure,” I said, pressing into him again and enjoying the fact only a thin layer of lace now kept him away from my wet folds.
My fingers slid over his heat until I was gripping him. Moving my hand up and down, I enjoyed the feel of the muscle beneath his smooth skin.
Laying his head back, he hissed between his teeth, and a pained expression moved over his face.
“Fuck, Shannon. Your hands, baby. Your fucking hands feel incredible.”
Continuing to explore, I moved my hand lower, letting my fingers glide across the loose sack hanging below his cock. He closed his eyes and dropped his head onto my shoulder.
“It’s so smooth and hot,” I said in awe, enjoying my explorations.
I had never touched a man like this, and I was glad he was allowing me to explore.
“You say that like it’s the first cock you’ve ever touched,” he said, pressing a kiss to the side of my neck.
Before I realized what I was saying, the words flew out of my mouth. “It is.”
Everything paused, and he pulled away. His eyes skimmed over my face to see if I was joking, and then his brows pulled down in confusion.
“Wait,” he said, laying his hands over mine and stopping my explorations. “How many guys have you been with?” he asked.
I didn’t quite know how to answer his question. In my mind, I had technically never been with anyone. The only time was when my body was taken against my will, and during that time, I checked out. I remembered him above me, taking me with a roughness that burned. I remember his crescent-shaped birthmark, and then everything went black until I found myself in the middle of the cornfield.
Then again, I had technically been penetrated by one man. Still, I couldn’t allow myself to consider that sex. It wasn’t making love. It wasn’t even consensual. I had never had sex in my life as far as I was concerned.
“None,” I answered honestly.
Because I hadn’t been with any men.
He wasn’t a man.
He was a coward.
An animal.
Dirt.
No.
Lower than dirt.
His eyes widened in shock, and he sucked in a breath.
“You’re a virgin? How’s that possible? I mean … men must chase you, right?”
I shook my head. “Most men don’t like overweight women, Matthew.”
He snorted. “You’re not overweight. You’re fucking perfect.”
“I’m not. We both know I’m not, but thank you for saying it.”
“No,” he said, capturing my face in his hands and forcing me to look him in the eye. “Listen to me. I don’t give a fuck what anyone says; you’re perfect.”
He kissed the tip of my nose.
“Beautiful inside and out.”
He kissed my right cheek.
“Sexy as hell.”
He kissed my left cheek.
“And I’m so honored that you’re here with me right now because I’m no fool; I know you’re too good for me. What I’m doing with you is wrong, and I know that. You deserve so much better than me, but I can’t stay away from you.”
I kissed him, tasting all that he was. “Then don’t,” I whispered again his lips.
He kissed me hard, pulling a soft moan from the back of my throat. My body pressed into his, begging for him. Ready. So completely ready.
“You’re driving me crazy, Red.”
“No. You’re driving me crazy.”
He backed away, pulling me to a standing position. He reached for the hem of my dress and began lifting it.
“I know you hate them, but I only have one question.” His hand slid up the inside of my thigh before he dipped a finger in the top of my panty line and ran it across my lower stomach. “Will you let me lick all your curves?”
Biting my lip, I nodded.