'We'll be happy here,' I thought to the baby, as I rubbed circles across my swollen belly. I smiled when I felt a flutter against my palm.
Moving in with Liz had been the best decision. As much as I tried to dissuade her, she insisted on helping with the baby. We put together our savings and bought the small brick home. Not only was it in a great location, it was also not far from work.
A small noise brought my attention to the open doorway of the nursery. Liz stood watching me with sad eyes that she quickly masked with a grin.
"The room is beautiful," she said.
I nodded in agreement, ignoring the pity she tried hard to keep hidden. I was getting used to it.
"It’s perfect. I’m so glad we finished before you have to leave."
"I know, me too." Liz's eyebrows pulled together. "Are you sure you're going to be okay by yourself for a whole month?"
"Yes, Liz, of course I will," I reassured her with a soft smile. She had asked the same question daily since she found out she would have to travel overseas for a month.
Wolford was opening new hotels in four different countries across Europe, and as the CEO’s executive assistant, Liz had to be present for the grand openings. It was a great opportunity for her. It had always been her dream to travel more, and I wasn't about to hold her back, not after everything she’d done and was willing to do for me.
After a quick nod, Liz walked over and placed her hand on my tummy, rubbing lightly. "I cannot believe you’re already more than six months along! Less than three left before we get to meet the lovely Ava," she said excitedly, with one of her brightest smiles.
"I can't wait either!"
I really couldn't. My pregnancy had been, well not necessarily a breeze, but very pleasant. The morning sickness hadn’t lasted too long, and so far I had felt great, physically at least.
Emotionally, I was doing better. I loved my baby's fathers and missed them dearly, but I had come to terms with reality. Life was good, and I promised myself I would be the best mom I could be to my darling girl.
I refused to dwell in the past when the future was looking so blessed. I might have gotten lonely at times, but I continued to remind myself that Liz and Ava were all I really needed. However, as many times as I silently repeated those words, my heart felt like it had been ripped into shreds and in the process of healing, left a gaping hole that would never be repaired.
"So, what are your plans for your day off?" Liz asked.
She had gotten me a part time position with Wolford also, except I was just a lowly secretary, a part time one at that. Once the baby was born and a routine was established, I hoped they would hire me full time. I hated the thought of not being with the baby all day, but I needed to pull my weight. Liz was wonderful for helping me out, and I wasn’t about to become a freeloader.
I felt like I had made the right decision to leave my old job. I hadn’t been too attached to the other employees. I also needed the change of scenery. Knoxville was definitely different, a mixture of big city, beautiful mountains and diverse people.
We found our home in a small subdivision outside the city. It was quiet compared to the hustle and bustle we endured at work. I was also relieved I wouldn’t have to worry about running into anyone I knew, especially Jordan or Alex.
"I have a doctor's appointment."
I glanced down to check the time. My eyes filled with tears at the sight of the small gold and diamond watch Jordan had given me for my thirtieth birthday last year. I push the memory away quickly as usual. I couldn’t bring myself to stop wearing the beautiful gift, but I tried hard not to think about it too much.
"In an hour, actually."
I was surprised to hear my voice break at such mundane words. I cleared my throat as I stood up and turned my back to Liz.
"I need to get ready."
Liz knew when I was hiding, but she had learned that sometimes it was what I needed, so she didn’t stop me as I strode away to my bedroom. I wanted to shower and change my clothes before I headed out.
Once dressed, I pulled my hair up and twisted it into a knot. It was getting really long. I tried telling myself I just didn’t have the time to get it cut, but in reality, I knew that wasn't true. Both Jordan and Alex used to comment on how much they loved my long hair, and I just couldn’t bear to change it.
As I stared at myself in the mirror, looking at the woman who was just thinking about how she needed to move on, I realized what a phony I was. I vowed right then to get my hair cut after my doctor's appointment. Nothing too short, maybe shoulder length, with layers. Feeling a little stronger, I slipped on my shoes.
Liz was getting her purse when I walked out of my bedroom. She had also changed out of her jeans and T-shirt. She looked so pretty in her plum sleeveless dress, with her smooth blonde hair swept up into a sophisticated ponytail. The dress covered most of her skin, and the hem went past her knees, yet somehow she still looked sexy. How some guy hadn’t swept her off her feet yet, was beyond me.