How I wished she were with me, so I could bury my nose in the crook of her neck and breathe her in so deeply it would solidly lodge her into my being. My dick hardened at the memory of doing just that.
I shook my head, realizing how much I’d taken for granted. All this time I had been kidding myself. Sam had permanently imbedded herself into my soul, and I would forever feel the weight of my mistake.
I left the apartment, shutting the door firmly behind me and went to see the superintendent. He could tell me when she moved and if she left a forwarding address. She couldn't have been gone long. The last time I saw her was almost a week ago. A week too long, I regretted. She mentioned that she was leaving, but I just hadn’t believed it, didn't want to believe she would leave so suddenly. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought she would always be there.
Shit! I felt like punching the wall. I was such a dickhead. How could I have let that much time go by without seeing Sam? How could I be as callous as that, to think she would wait around for me? Between work and Jordan's temper tantrums, I’d just kept pushing the problem back for later, wanting to give her time.
Well, time was up. I would find out where she’d gone. Jordan and I would have that talk, then we were going after her, and if he said no, then I would go alone. She may hate me. Hell, she probably did, and I couldn't blame her, but I was determined to find her, if for nothing else than to beg forgiveness.
4
Sam
“Thank you so much for letting me stay here.”
I sat down on the bed and looked around the small room. My bed took up most of the space, leaving little room for the dresser Liz already had and the boxes that held my things. The walls were plain, white and empty.
The place was too small to stay for long. Soon, I would need much more space, enough for a whole other person. That was the reason I hadn’t bothered with decorating, only making the bed with white sheets and a floral quilt my grandmother had made me before she died six years ago. No matter where I moved, that piece of her came with me.
“Of course, Sam. You can stay as long as you need. You know that.” Liz spoke from the doorway.
I was so grateful for her. She was the only person in my life that I trusted implicitly. We had met in college and became fast friends. As roommates, we both preferred to stay away from the numerous parties and focused more on our studies and spending quiet nights out at the coffee shops instead.
Our personalities meshed well, but that was the end of our similarities. Physically we were complete opposites. Where I was short, only a little over five feet, Liz had a model’s physique. She was almost six inches taller and was lean and trim compared to my voluptuous figure. She was a tall blonde, I was a curvy brunette, and we were the best of friends.
After breaking things off with Jordan and Alex, Liz had insisted I stay with her. I was hesitant, only because I didn’t want to be a burden. However, Liz had been adamant. She lived an hour away, in the city of Knoxville. I had no second thoughts about quitting my job at the lawyer’s office. I had needed the change of scenery.
I had called my parents to let them know I was pregnant. I in no way expected them to take care of the baby and me. My parents were happily retired and on one of their beloved road trips. I hadn’t seen either of them in months, but we tried to talk regularly.
My mom was actually excited that her thirty-year-old daughter was finally giving her a grandchild. She asked about the father, and I told her he wasn’t in the picture. Mom seemed to take that information in stride and said she and dad would visit soon. That could mean in a few weeks or months. I never knew.
“Are you okay?” Liz asked.
Nodding, I avoided answering her. I was not all right, was unsure when I ever would be again, but Liz was concerned enough. I didn’t want her to worry over my fragile heart.
“I won’t be staying for very much longer,” I said. “As soon as I find a job and a place I can afford, I’ll be out of your hair. No offense, but I’m going to need something a little bigger for me and the baby.”
I had been staying with Liz for over a week. At my insistence, I had spent most of that time alone. Liz had allowed me my space, and I was grateful, but it was time to get back on my feet.
“Hey,” Liz said as she came to sit beside me on the bed. “Don’t worry about that now. You have plenty of time before you need more space.” She smiled down at me.
“Besides,” she continued. “I have an idea I wanted to run by you.”
“What’s that?”
“Well, I’m tired of my sardine box of an apartment, so I’ve been on the hunt for something else. How about we go in together and get a nice place? Just the three of us.”
I shook my head. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
Liz clasped my hand in both of hers, her gaze sincere. “I think it’s a great idea. Please, just think about it?”
“I don’t know… Wouldn’t having a single mother and her child around all the time cramp your style or something?”