“Oh yeah?” he asked, standing up. She wasn’t sure she’d ever seen him this angry. “So what you’re really here to ask is if I’m gay?”
“We used to be together all the time, you know. Now I only see you at Sol’s. It’s like I pick you up, take you to daycare, and then take you home. And most of the time I’m just sitting there watching you guys fawn over each other.”
“I can’t help we like the same stuff. You’re the one who introduced us. And if you think that makes me gay, then maybe you’re the last person who should be helping someone else.”
“Why can’t you just tell me the truth, Clark?”
“You’re really convinced, aren’t you? Wow.”
“Well, the last time I saw you naked, you couldn’t wait to get dressed and now I find out you’re stripping down at Solomon’s like it’s no big deal.”
“Because it isn’t,” he said, raising his voice. “Are you seriously that insecure?”
Lisa stayed silent for a few seconds, looking up at Clark where he stood. He was so aggravated his eyes were tearing over, and he stared down with a look of deep disappointment on his face.
“If you’re not gay, then what’s wrong with us?” she asked quietly.
“I don’t know,” he said. “All you talk about is getting out of here. And we both know that even if you do get into Woodlawn, the chances of me going somewhere close by are pretty slim.”
“I can’t afford to go without the essay anyway.”
“I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”
“That’s unlikely,” she said, standing up. “I feel crazy. I really do. I see the way you look at each other. The way you are together. It’s so obvious.”
“Look, I can’t help whatever feelings Sol has for me, okay? That’s not my fault.”
“You keep going back,” she said. “Don’t you think there’s a reason you love going over there so much?”
“Yeah,” he said. “Because I finally have a friend who isn’t completely self-consumed.”
“Clark just . . . be who you are and I’ll still love you.”
“Get out,” he said, eerily calm. “Oh my God, get out. I’m done with this.”
Clark shut his bedroom door behind her, and she walked slowly down the hallway to the front door. She passed by Drew, shooting basketball in the driveway, but Lisa never said hello or even acknowledged her. She just got in her car and drove off.
If he was telling the truth, then that meant he’d fallen out of love with her for another reason, and she just wasn’t ready to accept that. Her suspicions had been right, that was the only logical explanation for Clark’s actions. He could deny it all he wanted to, but the second he told her to get out Lisa knew she didn’t really know him anymore.
Clark was obviously too afraid to admit the truth. And why wouldn’t he be—they lived in a town full of middle-class conservatives and a celebrated high school athlete coming out of the closet would be big news. And being the one gay guy on the water polo team did not sound like the kind of attention Clark would ever want or need. So she could see why telling her the truth was so hard for him and why asking her to leave had been the smartest thing Clark could’ve done. Now she could help him, despite the heartache it would cause her.
She drove to Solomon’s house and parked in the driveway. She knew he’d probably be outside where he wouldn’t hear the doorbell, so she hopped the back fence. She immediately saw Solomon floating on a raft in the middle of the pool. He had on sunglasses, so she wasn’t sure if he was asleep or awake until she stepped closer and he turned her way.
“Lisa! Thank God. It’s too quiet here.”
“Hi,” she said, slipping off her flip-flops and sitting at the edge of the pool. She put both feet in and Solomon paddled his raft over toward her.
“What’s up? Where’s Clark?”
“Home,” she said. “We kind of had a fight.”
“Oh, I didn’t know you guys did that.”
“We don’t. Not usually. I don’t know. He’s been acting weird lately.”
“Weird how?”
“Well, I really only see him if it’s over here. And, not that I don’t like hanging with you or whatever, but, you know, it would be nice to get some time alone.”
“No, I get it,” he said, a guilty look on his face.
“I think he likes you,” she said, biting her lip and getting it over with.
“What?” He took off his sunglasses.
“I think maybe he likes you how he used to like me.”
“I don’t think so, Lisa. You just need to talk to him.”
“I’ve known Clark for a long time, and I’ve never seen him as happy as he is over here. He gets around you and it’s like he turns into a little kid again. And you can’t tell me you don’t feel the same. I know you do.”
“Lisa, I . . .”
“It’s okay. I’m not mad. Please don’t think I’m mad. I just didn’t expect him to reciprocate, that’s all. I thought we were safe.”
“Safe? Wow.”
“No, I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I came out to my parents yesterday. My grandma, too.”
“Really? That’s so great, Sol.”
“Is it? Or is it dangerous?”