Ally shifted her gaze to the guys who were still eyeing Amanda, only now they were eyeing Ally, too.
“I’d say you’re definitely gaining a wider audience. Are you sure you want to do this? I’m not sure you can handle the kind of guys you’re going to attract. You have a killer body, you know.”
Amanda blushed. “Thank you, but just because I gain attention doesn’t mean I have to go out with the guys. I’ll be careful. I promise.”
“Well, I can’t say it’s a bad look for you. You’re totally hot, but I know what dressing provocatively can bring on, and I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“I get it. Okay. Now can we move on?” She touched Ally’s hand. “What’s up with your guy?”
“My guy.” Ally sighed. “I really, really like my guy.”
“You’re gushing. You never gush.”
“I know. I’m conflicted and I’m not conflicted at the same time, which makes no sense.” She met her sister’s curious gaze.
“I’m really good at deciphering things, you know. Maybe I can help. What’s got you worried?” Amanda crossed her arms and settled back in the booth.
“How much I feel and how fast I feel it.” Ally glanced at the people walking by, trying to determine why it was bothering her that she and Heath were moving fast.
“That would probably throw me for a loop, too, but you know fast is how you are in everything you do. You knew with your last boyfriend that he was going to be a long-term boyfriend right away, but you also knew he wasn’t the one.”
“My cheating ex?” She’d stopped using his name after they broke up.
“Yes, but you knew he wasn’t the guy you were going to marry. You told me that the first week you dated him. You said he wasn’t marriage material but he was more than a few nights’ material, remember?”
“No.” Ally didn’t remember saying that, but she did remember feeling that way.
“I think you’re pretty intuitive. You knew you wanted the job at the hospital after talking to the HR person over the phone. And you have always said that you get a feeling about things and you follow your gut, so what does your gut tell you?”
“That’s the problem.” Ally pushed her salad around on her plate with her fork, no longer hungry. “Every part of me wants more. More time with him, more time to get to know him. But it scares the heck out of me. What if I’m wrong? What if we spend more time and then…I don’t know, it just goes to shit?”
Amanda shrugged one shoulder. “I’m the careful one, remember?”
“Mandy, I need your help.”
“No, you don’t. Not really. You need to figure out your pros and cons. What do you have to gain?”
“Possibly the happiest, greatest feeling of my life on a daily basis.” Ally couldn’t suppress her smile at the thought of spending more time with Heath, but as Amanda asked what she had to lose, her smile faded.
“Lose? You mean my cons list? What if I get hurt?” The knot in her stomach tightened.
“What if you do? Don’t all relationships have that risk? And why are you being so careful anyway? You usually make a decision and go with it.”
“I’m afraid of getting hurt.”
“You’ve been hurt before and you survived. How is this different?”
Ally chewed on that question for a few minutes, trying to figure out why she was hesitating. When the realization hit, it stung like a swarm of bees.
“Because this time I care. I’m falling in love with him, and I’ve never been in love before.”
“Oh, Ally.” Amanda reached across the table and took her sister’s hand. “If you’re really falling for him, then that’s a wonderful thing. You’re supposed to feel scared and wonderful at the same time. Trust me. I’ve done my research. I’ve read every romance novel written in the last ten years, watched every romantic movie, and sat in the wings of life longingly watching couples that are in love.”
“Aw, Mandy…” She squeezed her sister’s hand, and when her sister waved her off, obviously not wanting her pity, Ally said, “So you don’t think I’m crazy?”
Amanda laughed. “You’re one of the sanest people I know. Okay, this is the truth.” She narrowed her eyes and lowered her chin in the listen-to-me-baby-sister way she always had. “I might give you shit about your sexual escapades, which I know are not that plentiful but scare me all the same, because you’re my sister and I never want anything bad to happen to you. But you’re out there living life, following your desires. You know what you like and what you don’t like, and I don’t just mean sexually. You’re that way with life in general, and that’s a huge thing. So whatever you’re feeling for Heath is probably very real. I might be older than you, but I’m only now beginning to even think about those things. And even just dressing differently today was empowering. I’m beginning to understand what you’ve known all along.”
“Really?” Ally soaked in her sister’s praise, so thankful for her honesty that she felt near tears.