“Of course.”
My mind flashed back to the moment of orgasm, when Grant had cried out wife, and I’d cried out husband. I didn’t mention that to Faith. That was too private. She didn’t need to know every single detail.
“So what did he say about marriage?”
“You know. Same thing he always says.”
“That it’s impossible?”
“Yes. And this was right after he’d just orgasmed inside me, Faith. It was really hurtful. I was filled to the brim with love for him. I’d have promised my life to him if he asked. But all he wanted to talk about was how marriage wasn’t a realistic option for him.”
“I see,” she said, her face full of sympathy.
“Yeah. So, you know. I’m pretty sure there’s no point in waiting around for him to propose to me. I’m thirty-four, Faith. I want to move forward with my life. I want to find the one.”
“I understand that.”
“The way Jackson feels about you. The way he spent years hunting down Los Lobos to make sure you and Sam were safe. I know it was torture, waiting for him. But he was committed to you completely. He’d have died for you. That’s what I want.”
“Of course you want it, Lacey. You deserve it.”
“Do I?” I said, my eyes filling with tears again.
“Of course you do, sweetheart. Don’t you think otherwise for one second. You deserve all the happiness in the world. You’re a wonderful person, and you’ll make someone very happy someday.”
“I don’t think Grant wants me in that way.”
“Then you find a man who does. Do you hear me? You find a man who’ll cherish you for the treasure you are. You don’t need to settle for anything but the best, Lacey. If you want a husband, if you want a big wedding, and a diamond ring, and the whole nine yards, then you find the man who will give it to you. Because he’s out there.”
“I just hope I won’t let my feelings for Grant hold me back.”
Faith smiled. “He was that good, huh?”
“Oh, Faith. I can’t even describe it. He was better than good. He blew my mind.”
Faith laughed. “I know the feeling.”
I looked at her and smiled too. It was true. Any girl who’d ever seen Jackson knew Faith had a hell of an animal in her bedroom.
“Yes, you do.”
“Well,” Faith said, “why don’t you just count it as a blessing. You had the orgasm of your life with the guy you’ve been secretly obsessed with since high school, and now that it’s out of your system, you can find Mister Right and settle down.”
I nodded. That was certainly a good way of looking at it. I could search for the man of my dreams, while knowing that I had at least had the chance to taste the pleasure of Grant’s cock. It wasn’t the way I would have preferred things to play out. My first choice would have been for me and Grant to fall madly in love. And then he’d propose to me with the ring of my dreams, a solitaire diamond ring. Then we’d have our dream wedding, with flowers and doves and music, then move into a beautiful house with a white picket fence, and I’d give him the most beautiful babies he could ever imagine. And then we’d live happily ever after.
And then unicorns would fall out of rainbows in the sky. A girl can dream, but at the end of the day, it’s reality that has to give you your happiness, not fantasies.
Chapter 11
Lacey
I CHECKED MY MAKEUP ONE final time.
“You look great,” Faith said from over by my bed where she was watching a reality television show.
Jackson had taken Sam to a baseball game in the city and Faith was helping me get ready for my blind date.
“Why am I so nervous?” I said.
“Because you’re normal,” Faith said, “and you’re about to go out on a date with one of San Francisco’s most dashing young doctors.”
I hugged her before leaving the room.
“Thank you so much,” I said to her from the top of the stairs.
“For what?”
“For helping me through all of this.”
“Lacey, you helped me through so much when I needed you.”
I blew her a kiss and ran down the stairs. The drive into the city would take over an hour and I was already running late. I’d really cast my net wide this time, relying on an internet matchmaking website to find me the man of my dreams. Rob Crawford, a plastic surgeon in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods of San Francisco, was the match they’d found for me. I prayed he was as charming in real life as his online profile made him out to be.
At the bottom of the stairs I ran into the kitchen to grab my purse from the counter. Grant was standing by the refrigerator, startled to see me.
“Lacey,” he said, awkwardly.
I looked at him. God, he was handsome. Even after everything we’d been through, living together for years, he could still take my breath away. His hair was wet, fresh from the shower, and he smelled of shaving foam and cologne.
I stopped dead.
“Grant.”
“You look very pretty,” he said. “Are you going out?”