I’d miss them though. Actually, I’d be devastated. I didn’t want to lose the only family I’d ever known.
I counted the days until Jackson and Faith got back from their honeymoon. They’d gone up north to Washington State for a couple of weeks. There was a forest up there where Jackson had bought a cabin by a lake. They brought Sam, and they fished and jet skied and went out in a boat. The pictures looked beautiful.
The day after they got back, I called Faith.
“How was the honeymoon?”
“Amazing,” she said, and I could tell by her voice that she was the happiest she’d ever been.
She’d always been a happy, positive person, but there was a lightness to her now, like she’d finally gotten what she’d always wanted. I couldn’t help wonder if I’d ever know that sort of happiness.
“Was Jackson everything you remembered?”
“And more,” she said, and then giggled like a girl. “Lacey, he’s an animal. My husband is a beast.”
I laughed.
“And he spent so much time with Sam, too. It was perfect. It was a dream, Lacey.”
“I’m so happy for you, Faith.”
“You sound like you need to talk about something,” she said.
I took a deep breath. It had been killing me, keeping my little affair with Grant to myself all this time. I hadn’t wanted to disturb Faith on her honeymoon.
“There is. Can we talk at the Rusty Nail tonight?”
“Of course.”
*
FAITH WAS WAITING FOR ME when I got there. I scanned the bar. None of the Brothers were there, which was rare. Usually at least one of them was leaning up against the bar with a beer in his hand.
“You look beautiful,” I said, when I saw her.
She was positively radiant. Love agreed with her. Marriage was bringing out her best.
She’d ordered a bottle of zinfandel and the waitress brought it over and opened it.
“I figured we’d get through a bottle,” she said.
“At least,” I said. “Faith, something terrible has happened.”
“What?”
“Grant and I … ,” I didn’t finish my sentence, but I didn’t need to. She already knew what I was going to say.
Her hand went in front of her mouth and a look of disbelief crossed her face. I thought she was shocked, but then I noticed that she was struggling to stifle a laugh.
“What’s so funny?” I said, indignantly.
“Oh, Lacey. I’m sorry. It’s just, I’ve known you and Grant needed to hook up for years.”
“Well I’m glad you find it so amusing.”
“I’m sorry, sweetie,” she said. “It’s serious, I can tell.”
I looked at her sternly. It was serious.
“When did it happen?”
“At your wedding.”
She laughed again.
“Faith!”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”
“It’s been so awkward between us since.”
“Why? Just tell him how you feel.”
“How do I feel?”
“You like him, don’t you?”
I looked at Faith and felt my emotions well up.
“Oh, sweetie,” she said again, “what is it? Did something go wrong?”
“That depends on what your definition of right and wrong is.”
“Tell me exactly what happened.”
I took a sip of my wine. There was a napkin under my glass and I rose it to my face and touched my eyes. I hadn’t cried, but my eyes were full of tears and I’d spent half an hour on this mascara. If I could avoid messing it up that would be good.
“We promised each other it would just be a once off thing.”
“Oh,” Faith said, obviously disappointed. “Why? You’re both single aren’t you? You’re both crazy about each other.”
“I’m crazy about him, I know that much. But Grant doesn’t want a relationship with me at all. He made that abundantly clear.”
“Maybe you misunderstood him.”
“He said we’d only have sex that one time, and it would be a secret.”
“Maybe he was trying to convince you to go through with it. Downplaying it.”
“I know,” I said. “That was part of it, sure, but you know Grant. He’s never been in a relationship for more than a week or two.”
“That’s because he’s always been secretly in love with you.”
That made me laugh.
“Please, Faith.”
“I mean it, Lacey. I’ve been watching him look out for you for twelve years, ever since I got here.”
“He wanted me. That much was clear. But I think he just wanted me because I was forbidden. He wanted to have what he wasn’t allowed to have. And now that he’s tried me, he’s satisfied and ready to move on.”
“Lacey. I’m sure there’s more to it than that.”
“He had a crush on me when we were younger,” I said. “I found pictures from when I was in high school.”
“Exactly.”
“But it was just a crush, Faith. Just an infatuation. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he’s been wanting to fuck me for his whole life. So he took his opportunity at the wedding.”
“Give him time.”
I laughed. “I’ve given him seventeen years, Faith. I’m not waiting any longer. You know, we even discussed marriage.”
“How did that come up?”
“Well, we were at your wedding after all.”