My body poured itself into her like there was nothing else on earth. When my orgasm finally subsided, I collapsed onto her delicate body in a panting mess. My weight crushed her beneath me and the two of us lay there, gasping for breath.
My cock was still inside her, and it spasmed a few last surges of semen into her as we lay there recovering.
“Oh my God, Lacey,” I panted.
Her shoulders were shaking.
She was crying.
Chapter 9
Lacey
I FELT LIKE SUCH AN IDIOT, crying right in front of him. The orgasm was amazing. Being with Grant was amazing. It was a dream come true. So why was I ruining it by bursting into tears like an idiot?
Because I knew it was only going to last one night.
He’d said it, over and over again. We’d have this one night of passion. It would be our little secret. He’d never ask me to do this again. He’d promised.
I didn’t understand. He wanted me, but did he really only want me once? Didn’t he want this to go on and on, again and again, forever? Didn’t he want to make something out of it? Didn’t he want me?
I’d agreed to making love reluctantly, but it wasn’t for the reason he thought. He thought he had to play things down to convince me. He thought I’d only agree to this if I knew it was a one-night-stand. He didn’t know me at all. That was the exact opposite of what I needed to hear.
He played up the fact that it would only be this one time, and all the while, I was secretly praying it might lead to more.
That’s why I was crying. I didn’t want it to be just once. I didn’t want a dirty little secret. I wanted something that would last. I wanted it to become something more, something real. I wanted more than just sex. I wanted a full blown relationship with Grant. God, I had to keep my mouth shut before I made a complete fool of myself.
“Lacey,” he said, trying to turn me around. “What’s the matter? Did I hurt you?”
“It’s nothing, Grant.”
“It’s something.”
“I’ll be fine. I’m just feeling emotional.”
“Emotional?”
He said it like he was surprised. Didn’t he know that emotions were always involved when people had sex? Was it really such a big surprise? It wasn’t just about sex. We weren’t animals. We were people, with feelings, and vulnerabilities, and secret hopes and wishes. I was making a fool out of myself. I would be so humiliated if he realized the reason I was crying was because I wanted more than he was willing to offer me.
“It’s been a while since I’ve been made love to like that,” I said. “That’s why I’m crying.”
Then I bit my tongue. Was that what we’d been doing? Had we made love? Or were we just fucking? Luckily Grant didn’t catch the distinction.
“Me neither,” he said, rolling onto his side to face me.
I felt a momentary loss as his penis slid out of me. I was wet inside, his stickiness all over me, but already I knew that I was losing him. He’d done what he’d wanted to do. Now he was ready to move on.
I looked into his dark eyes and then forced myself to look away, letting my eyes gaze over his naked body. His arms were so thick, so perfectly formed, the deep colors of the tattoo ink drawing my attention. His back was like a contour map, muscular hills and valleys leading all the way to the perfect valley between his buttocks.
“Are you all right, Lacey?”
“Of course I am. I just got a little overwhelmed. That was pretty intense.”
“It was,” he agreed.
“Calling each other husband and wife. What was that?”
He shrugged. He wasn’t taking things lightly, he looked serious and thoughtful, it was just that he’d made it so abundantly clear that this was a once off thing, it made me want to cry again. Why didn’t he want me again? It made no sense. If he’d wanted my for seventeen years, why didn’t he want me for more than one night?
“I don’t know, Lacey. I just thought, I guess, it was part of some fantasy I had in my mind. I’m sorry if it upset you. It was silly.”
“Silly?” I said.
“Yes.”
I took a deep breath. I knew I should drop the subject, I should have pretended to be fine and maintained whatever dignity I could, but some part of me had to keep the conversation going.
“I guess it’s just a little surprising, coming from the man who says he doesn’t believe in marriage,” I said.
“I think marriage is a false promise,” he said.
“I know, Grant. You’ve said it a million times. People have a better chance of being elected president than finding their soulmate.”
“That’s not what I say.”
“You say something like that.”
He nodded. “True.”
“So why did you want us to cry out husband and wife as we climaxed?”
He shrugged. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it would upset you. It was just a sort of … fetish.”
“A fetish? You’re kidding me.”
“I don’t know. Not a fetish. You know what I mean.”