She was scared I was going to leave her.
“Listen,” I said. “I’m not going to leave you, Faith. Not without holding you to your word.”
“Oh,” she said, embarrassed.
“You said you’d be mine. I meant that absolutely. Before I leave, you’re going to give me everything you have to offer. I want all of you.”
“How do you know it will work?” she said, uncertainly.
I smiled. “It will work. You’ll see. I’m going to put my come in your naked womb, and it will work.”
She covered her mouth with her hand.
“That’s what this is all about, Faith. That’s what it’s always been about. The moment I set eyes on you in that bar last night, I knew I was going to do it.”
She was stunned. I’d told her all of this in the diner already but it was still sinking in. She still didn’t fully believe what was happening. I didn’t blame her. It was a lot to comprehend. She sat down on the bed. I wanted to sit next to her, to tell her it was all going to work out, that we’d live a happy life together, but I couldn’t. The truth was more important. And the truth was that I was riding out to my death in the morning.
And before I did, I was going to exact my price from her. She would carry my child.
I’d told her she’d regret ever laying eyes on me. I’d told her I’d bring her nothing but pain and regret. I wasn’t kidding. I meant every word.
She was shaking her head.
“You said you had brothers.”
“We’re a brotherhood. I call them my brothers, but we’re not related.”
“Jackson,” she said, “we need to talk.”
I shook my head. “The time for talking’s done, Faith. The time for talking was last night, before I put a bullet in that Los Lobos thug.”
“I don’t want you to die, Jackson. I don’t want you to risk your life, even if it’s for my safety. I couldn’t bear it if you didn’t come back.”
I leaned down to her and took her face in my hands. “Listen to me very carefully, Faith. The truth is, I’m happy to do this. If I can give my life to help someone as beautiful as you, it will be worth the sacrifice. And if I can go to my grave knowing that there’s even a chance that you’re carrying my child, that’s a death I can face with courage and honor.”
She looked at me, and I could tell she was hearing what I said. I know I’m crazy. I know there’s not a woman in the world who would want to hear the words I was saying. But there was a strange, masculine logic to it, and she could see that.
A life for a life. That’s how it is for a man. It’s simple. It adds up.
“How do you know?” she said.
“How do I know what?”
“How do you know I’m the one. How do you know I’m the one you want to give your life for? How do you know I’m the woman you want to raise your child?”
I put my mouth on hers and I kissed her. Our tongues met and entwined.
“I just know,” I said, and left the room.
Chapter 12
Jackson
THERE WAS A HIGH-POWERED RIFLE with a scope in the den and I got it and a box of cartridges. I rode down into the sweltering heat of the valley. About four miles down I took a dirt trail leading to some hills. I found a position on an overlook and waited.
It was thirty minutes before a group of deer entered my field of view. They were almost a thousand yards out but I wanted to test the rifle. It was the gun I’d use to kill Wolf Staten.
I loaded a cartridge and held up my hand to judge the wind. There was a slight easterly breeze. I adjusted my sights, making sure there weren’t any gusts or lifts on the valley floor. I breathed slowly but steadily, holding the largest deer in my crosshairs. I put my finger on the trigger.
With the naked eye, the deer was scarcely a dot among the chaparral in the distance. Through the sight, I was so close I felt I could touch him. I could see him breathe. I could make out the faint white marking beneath his left eye. I trained my sights on the artery in his neck, just above the shoulder blade. It would be an instant death.
I exhaled and depressed the trigger.
He didn’t even hear the shot when the bullet struck. The other deer pranced and ran, darting across the valley like fish in a reef. My target hit the ground, a small cloud of dust rising around him.
My father died without a grandson. Faith was my destiny. I hadn’t asked for her. She’d come into that bar and offered herself. I was going to give my life for her. That made her mine.
When I got back to the safe house, all I could think about was putting my semen in her womb.
“Faith,” I called.
“In here,” she said from the bedroom.
I entered, and my eyes grew when I saw how beautiful she looked. I swear to God I’ve never seen anything more enticing. She’d washed her hair and it was wet on her shoulders. Her skin was moist from her bath. She was clean and perfumed.
She took my breath away.