And I was going to give her my ultimate sacrifice too.
I had to penetrate her deeply. I had to burn myself onto her very soul. It wasn’t just for pleasure. It wasn’t just an idle desire. I wanted to break her, the way a horse-whisperer breaks a mustang. I needed her to know she belonged to me. I didn’t just want her just to love me, I wanted her to fear me too. To respect me. I wanted her to worship me like an animal worships its master.
She cried out, but she was powerless to stop me. I lowered her onto my erect spike and it slid up into her like a sword killing a warrior.
“Please,” she mouthed but I didn’t listen. I couldn’t stop now. If I stopped now, she’d never forgive me. She’d despise me. I couldn’t stop until she was utterly mine. I had to defeat her will, her resistance.
“Jackson,” she whispered.
I refused to feel compassion. I kept lowering her until she was resting again on my lap, my shaft all the way inside her ass, my balls touching the cheeks of her butt.
“Some things have to come with pain,” I said.
“Why are you doing this?”
“You’ll understand after I’m gone.”
“No,” she cried.
“If Los Lobos kill me, I’ll live on within you, Faith. I’ll live on within your womb.”
“You don’t even know if I’m pregnant.”
It was then that I kissed her. My cock was in her ass, all the way to the very center of her body, and I shoved my tongue into her mouth so that she couldn’t say another word. She tried to cry out, she tried to moan, to beg for mercy, but I stifled all of it. I couldn’t bear to hear it.
I was simultaneously creating and destroying the only thing in the world that mattered to me. I was forcing her to be mine for the rest of her life. I knew she’d never look at another man after this. But I was also forcing her to hate me, to look at me as a monster. She’d never forgive me for leaving her. Not for as long as she lived.
If I left her now, if Wolf killed me, if I never returned, she’d hate me for it.
My cock pulsed inside her. She struggled but I held her firmly in place. There was no escape. She bit my lip and I released her from my kiss.
Her claws dug into the flesh of my back.
“Don’t resist me,” I cried. “I’m doing this for us.”
She was crying. My cock burst, the flood of my semen pouring into her anus in waves of pleasure.
“I know,” she cried.
Surge after surge of my orgasm pulsed inside her.
“Harder,” she cried.
I thrust my groin upward, forcing it against the soft flesh of her ass. My cock was lodged so firmly inside her she wouldn’t have been able to break free even if I let her.
“Harder, Jackson,” she cried again. “If you’re going to break my heart, you better break it all the way.”
I shut my eyes. Her nails were so deep in my back that blood was flowing down over my scars. Her mouth pressed against my neck, her teeth biting me painfully. Her legs were so firmly wrapped around my waist I could hardly breathe.
As the last throbs of my sperm flowed into her ass, I knew it was true. She was mine. She was utterly mine, and she always would be.
I’d broken her. I was her master.
Chapter 15
Faith
WHEN JACKSON TOLD ME HE was leaving to ride north, something inside me broke. He was going to ride to his death, and he wasn’t even considering where that would leave me. I didn’t care that he said it was for me. It wasn’t for me. I didn’t need revenge on Wolf. All I needed was Jackson to stay with me, to protect me by being with me, to never leave me. All I needed was for him to stay.
“I can’t stay,” he said. “You know that.”
“Then go,” I cried. “If you’re going to leave me, go now. It would have been better if I’d never met you. It would have been better if I’d never left Wolf.”
“Faith,” he said, but it was too late.
I shook my head. I wanted no more of his words. He was breaking my heart and he knew it. How could he do this to me? In the space of two passionate nights he’d made me fall completely in love with him. I knew I was already carrying his baby. There was no doubt in my mind I was pregnant. I don’t know how I knew, but I knew.
Now he was breaking me heart. He was breaking my body and my heart at the same time. He didn’t realize I’d forgive him for anything, if only he would stay. He didn’t realize I didn’t care about Wolf Staten. All I cared about was Jackson being at my side.
I wanted to tell him that I released him from his promise, that he didn’t have to go, but he wasn’t listening. He thought I’d hate him for being a coward. Nothing could be further from the truth.
The only thing I’d hate him for was leaving me. He didn’t have to do it like this. He didn’t have to leave a trail of destruction. We could have stayed at that house together. Or he could have taken me somewhere else. I’d have gone anywhere with him. I wanted him. I didn’t want justice. I wanted Jackson to help me raise this baby he’d been so determined to put inside me.