In my brain I memorize the phone number.
I put the piece of paper in my mouth and chew and swallow. Now no one will ever find it. If I keep my mouth shut no one will know that the number is in my brain or that Rick helped me. He is the best dad I ever had.
63
EXACTLY 9:08 IN THE MORNING,
SATURDAY, JANUARY 8TH
When I wake up at nine in the morning I sit up and shut off the alarm clock and yawn like Chewbacca. I want to make a list of things to do. On it I will write Find a place to call Gloria but then I decide that writing it down would be a bad idea. Plus I don’t have a phone yet. So I get up and put my glasses on and walk out into the hallway and go to the bathroom. I come out and go to the dining room table and take my pill and sit down to drink my milk. I look closely at the glass of milk and see that there aren’t grapes next to it.
So I say, “There aren’t any grapes.”
And from another room my Forever Mom shouts, “Ginny, the grapes have to wait.”
I wait exactly nine seconds but still no one brings me any grapes so I say, “There were grapes here yesterday.” And then, “There are always grapes here. I’m supposed to have grapes every day to keep me regular.”
But my Forever Mom doesn’t say anything back. So I look up from where my grapes are supposed to be to see where she is. She is in the living room kneeling in front of my Forever Dad who is lying down. My Forever Mom is pushing on his chest and blowing in his mouth and putting her head on his chest like she is listening. Then pushing again and again and blowing some more and pulling her hair and pushing, pushing. My Forever Sister is sitting near the couch in its bouncy seat chewing its stuffed bunny.
So I say, “Approximately when will I get my grapes?”
My Forever Mom still doesn’t answer. She picks up her cell phone. It falls out of her hands. She picks it up and presses some buttons. Then she stands. “Ginny, Grammy and Granddad are on their way here right now. They’re going to watch you. An ambulance is coming to pick up your dad.”
“Will Grammy get my grapes?” I say.
My Forever Mom turns and picks up my Forever Sister and gives it a hug. “I have to put your sister down,” she says to me. “Just stay there at the table, all right, Ginny?” Then she walks upstairs.
Now it is 9:09. I am still sitting here with no grapes. I don’t have nine grapes or even fourteen. I have zero. My Forever Sister is too small to get my grapes. My Forever Dad isn’t getting up to get them. He is still lying on the floor not moving.
I start biting my fingernails. How long will I have to wait? I know where the grapes are but I’m not allowed to open the refrigerator without permission. It was different when I took the milk on the night of the Harvest Concert because I needed it for my Baby Doll. I don’t like to break rules or tell lies. It’s only okay to do if I’m trying to take care of my Baby Doll. It’s only okay if I have to. So I say, “Gee, I really, really wish someone would help me.”
No one answers.
I sit up big and tall so that I can see my Forever Dad’s face. His eyes are closed so I’m guessing his ears are closed too. “I’ll just sit here and wait,” I say to him. But still he doesn’t answer.
Now there are flashing lights in the driveway but they are not the same flashing lights that a police car makes. I see an ambulance parked there. Two men run to the door. My Forever Mom comes into the living room without my Forever Sister. She doesn’t say anything to me. She runs to the door and opens it and the two men come in. They are carrying black bags with handles. They kneel down in front of my Forever Dad and now I can’t see him at all. I see only the backs of the two men.
Then I see Granddad standing in front of me. He says, “Ginny, go into your room and get dressed. We’ll get your breakfast ready after that. Your mom and dad have to go to the hospital for a little while.”
I get up and push my chair in and go into my room. When I’m finished getting dressed I come out and sit down in my chair again. No one told me yesterday that Grammy and Granddad were coming to visit. I am surprised and confused.
Grammy comes into the dining room holding my Forever Sister. She hands it to Granddad and Granddad brings it into the living room. He sits down on the couch and starts looking at a book with it. Then Grammy comes out of the kitchen with a roll of paper towels. “I want to pick the snow up off the rug,” she says.
I see the snow. “Where did the snow come from?” I say.
“From the paramedics’ boots,” she says. “Ginny, everything is going to be all right. We’ll just do what you normally do in the morning, and we’ll wait for a call from your mom.”
“Where is she?” I say. Because I don’t see her. I don’t see my Forever Dad either.
“She is on her way to the hospital with your dad in the ambulance.”
I look at the floor. My Forever Dad isn’t where he used to be. “Can I have my grapes now?” I say. “I need to have exactly nine.” Because if I have my grapes it will be like nothing is happening. It will be like everything is exactly the way it’s supposed to be.
64
EXACTLY 4:08,
MONDAY, JANUARY 10TH
“Would you like a hug?” says Patrice.
“No,” I say.
“Let’s just sit down, then.”
I sit in the flower chair and look around. I am thinking about how I’m going to find a phone to call Gloria. Adults keep their cell phones with them all the time so it’s really hard to borrow one without asking. Plus at school kids aren’t allowed to have cell phones. But kids still have them sometimes in their lockers or their backpacks. Maybe school is the best place to look.
“It was nice of your Grammy to bring you here,” says Patrice. “It’s great that your grandparents live so close by.”
I don’t say anything.
“Do you like having them stay with you?”
“No.”
“Ginny, your dad will be in the hospital for at least a week,” she says. “Do you know why?”
“He had a heart attack,” I say.
“Yes. He’s had high blood pressure for years, but there’s been a lot of stress at home lately. The doctors say he needs a different lifestyle. It’s not your fault. He just needs things to be simpler. It would have been great if you could have gone to live with Rick, but things didn’t work out the way everyone planned. I’m glad he’s going to stay in touch through email, though.” Then she says, “I’m sorry that things fell through. Rick and your Forever Parents just don’t agree. He wanted to raise you in a very different way than they did, in a way that was too...open. But there’s a very special place in Connecticut that your Forever Parents are looking at. I’d like you to look at it, too.”
Patrice takes out some papers with pictures on them. I see a brick building and little white cabins near a lake and lots of little girls in a big group. They are all wearing pink T-shirts and smiles.