I clamp my hands over my mouth. Fast. I want to take the words back because now Maura might figure out my secret plan. She might figure out that I know Gloria’s phone number and that I’m going to call her to tell her it’s time to go up to Canada. I just need to get a phone. I looked today at school but I didn’t find one.
“Oh,” she says. “It sounds like you’re starting to put two and two together, then.
“So the cat is completely out of the bag. I might as well come to terms with it myself. With talking about it, I mean. After all—Anyway, I know Patrice showed you the pictures of Saint Genevieve’s, so I guess it’s okay. Do you want to talk about it now? Because we can, if you want. You have to leave pretty soon to catch the bus, but we can talk about it for a few minutes.”
She looks at the clock on the stove.
I don’t understand. I think hard.
“Ginny?”
“What?” I say. And cover my mouth again.
Maura gives a little smile. “It’s okay,” she says. “I’ll make sure everyone knows that you’re going back to calling us all by our first names. It makes me a little sad, you know. A lot sadder than I would have guessed. We had some good times for a while, when it was just the three of us. But you seem pretty comfortable with the idea. Are you really as comfortable as you seem?”
I take my hands down. “I’m not really comfortable,” I say.
“Oh,” she says. “Well, then. That’s understandable. We don’t have to discuss it at all today. Just so long as we have an understanding. We can deal with it some other time. For now, let’s just get through the rest of this week.”
66
EXACTLY 8:58 IN THE MORNING,
WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 12TH
Sometimes Ms. Carol helps Larry too. Like right now. We are in science working on a lab. Larry has to light a Bunsen burner with a metal tool called a striker. It has flint and steel in it. Then we have to see what color some chemicals turn in a bunch of test tubes when he puts them in the fire. Mr. Crew the science teacher said we have to record the data which means we have to write the colors down and see how long it takes for them to turn color. Right now they are all white.
Mr. Crew picked groups for the experiment. He put me and Larry in a group with Michelle Whipple. Michelle Whipple asked if she could go in another group because I attacked her once before but Mr. Crew said we all need to learn to get along.
“Put your arm braces here,” says Ms. Carol to Larry. She touches the heater next to the wall. “Then you can lean on the counter and light the flame. I’ll turn on the gas for you.”
Michelle Whipple is in charge of writing down the data. She has a clipboard and pencil out. She is watching Larry closely.
I am watching her.
I have my Snoopy pad in my left hand and my Snoopy pencil in my right. Plus I am wearing my red sweatshirt with the pocket in the front. It is perfect for today which is why I wore it.
“Here we go,” says Ms. Carol.
She turns on the gas. Larry starts squeezing the striker. It makes a clicking-scraping sound.
Michelle Whipple looks at the clock and writes down the time.
I take a step back and drop my Snoopy pencil into her backpack.
I bend down to pick it up. I feel around and grab something flat and rectangle-shaped. I put it in my pocket and stand up again.
“Good job,” Ms. Carol says to Larry.
Larry starts singing about good vibrations. He moves his head back and forth like a chicken and his voice gets louder. He winks at me and then closes his eyes and keeps singing.
“Steady with that test tube, Larry,” says Ms. Carol. “And keep your eyes open.”
I walk behind Michelle Whipple and peek in my pocket. The flat rectangle-shaped thing is a candy bar.
In my brain I say, Well dang!
I bend down to try again. I put my hand back into the backpack. My fingers find my Snoopy pencil.
“Ginny?” says Michelle Whipple.
I stand up fast. “I dropped my pencil,” I say. And hold it out to show her.
Michelle Whipple bends down and makes a mean face at me. The backpack is between us. She zips it shut and says, “Next time, tell me and I’ll get it for you.”
We finish the experiment. When the bell rings I go to my locker to get my flute for band. I also get my music and my water bottle. Then I go to the band room and sit down in my chair to eat the candy bar. I will share it with Larry when he gets here.
67
EXACTLY 3:02 IN THE AFTERNOON,
THURSDAY, JANUARY 13TH
Maura’s eyes are thin like cuts. She leans forward. “I already know what happened,” she says. “I’m only asking because I want to see whether or not you’re going to lie to me. Now, did you steal someone’s chocolate yesterday at school?”
I don’t like it when people get close to my face. I don’t like the feeling of people’s breath on my lips and nose.
I remember what Patrice said about people who are yelling at me. I turn my head and close my eyes. I do not move forward at all.
“Yes!” I say. And open one eye to peek.
Maura leans back. Her eyes are regular again. I let out a breath. “Good,” she says. “That was the smartest thing you could have possibly said. But I told you no more incidents the other day, and this is an incident. A big incident, Ginny. We don’t steal in this family.”
I want to say something but I decide not to. I want to say a lot of things but I will not.
“Grammy is coming over right now to watch Wendy. You and I are going to the store.”
“Why?” I say.
“You’re going to buy a new bar of chocolate for Michelle,” she says. “With your own money.”
“Why do I have to use my own money?”
“Because you stole. When you steal something, you have to give it back or replace it. Now, go get ready to go.”
She makes a loud breathing sound and hits her hand on the counter. I jump.
“Why do you have to pull something like this? Don’t you have any control over yourself at all? Don’t you know right from wrong? We’ve taught you to have good habits and to respect other people. We’ve taught you how to—But, Ginny, I don’t have time for any more nonsense! I don’t have time to talk with guidance counselors or angry parents on the phone. I have an infant to take care of and a husband in the hospital. And you pull something like this?”
Baby Wendy is still asleep when Grammy comes. I put my scarf and gloves and hat and coat on. Then we get in the car and drive. Maura gives me my money. She keeps it in a box in the closet in her bedroom. She and Brian don’t let me keep money in my room because they think I’ll take it to school and might lose it. Or someone will take it from me.