I avoid his eyes and turn toward the sink. “You, um…you can leave your shorts on.”
“Really?” His voice is closer now. “I thought I was supposed to get naked?”
“You—” My voice cracks. “You can, but I think it’s best if you keep your shorts on.”
“Why, Axelle?” He chuckles. “It’s not like you’re not intimately familiar with what’s under them.”
I drop my chin and brace my weight on the counter as flashes of his naked body zap through my brain. Dammit, Axelle! Be a professional for God’s sake!
“Fine.” I move to step out of the room. “Get naked. Get under the sheet. I’ll be back—”
“Not so fast.” He snags my arm as I pass by him. “Something tells me if I let you walk out that door you won’t come back.”
I lift my chin in defiance. “Guess that’s a chance you’ve got to take.” I struggle to pull free of his hold, but he doesn’t release me.
His eyebrows drop low. “Talk to me, Ax,” he whispers. “What did I do?”
Yeah, that’s a fantastic question. What did he do? Other than leave to London for a year without saying good-bye and coming back a totally different person.
Defeat washes over me, making my shoulders slump. “Please, Kill. Don’t make this harder than it already is.”
“Make what harder? I thought we had a good talk the other night, but ever since, you’ve been MIA.”
I jerk my arm free, and he steps away to give me some space, but I don’t miss the fact that he steps in front of the door, most likely to block my escape. “Don’t treat me like some stupid groupie.”
“Groupie—?”
“Did you tell Fleur about our talk?”
He drops his gaze and rubs the back of his neck. “Yes.”
“Does she know you’ve been calling and texting me?”
He peers up at me. “She knows.”
“So…” I study the walls that feel like they’re shrinking around us. “Your girlfriend is fine with you chasing me down.”
His face registers confusion for a few beats, and then his eyes widen and he laughs. “Ax, you think…wow.” He shakes his head, grinning. “That’s been your issue? Fleur is not my girlfriend.”
What? “Since when?”
“Since ever.” He moves in closer. “You need to stop believing everything you read.”
“What about what I’ve seen, huh? Are you trying to tell me all the kisses and photos of you two cuddled up are fake? I’ve seen you guys kiss. Many times.” The memory makes me nauseated.
“We’ve kissed, sure, but she’s French. That’s what they do.”
I cross my arms at my chest. “So you’re telling me the two of you have never hooked up?”
He recoils, but stands his ground.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
He looks genuinely apologetic. “I had one moment of weakness.”
“A moment of weakness?” God, since when did he become a womanizing pig?
Anger flashes in his eyes. “She knew exactly what she was doing, and I explained—”
“Oh, God.” I cover my ears. “I don’t want to hear about all your European sexcapades.”
“Yeah? Why not?” His jaw ticks. “We’re just friends, right? Or hell, maybe we’re not even that anymore, so why does hearing about me and Fleur upset you?”
“Because this isn’t the Killian I know. I lost my best friend one year ago; he left and didn’t even say good-bye. And now you’re back, but you aren’t you, Kill.” A lump forms in my throat, and I turn away from him to organize bottles of oil and creams.
“Ax, it is me.” He pushes up behind me, his hands braced on either side of my hips, his lips at my ear. “I’m right here. You say I’ve changed. I won’t deny that. But I’m better, right? I never felt worthy of you, never felt like the kind of man you could be proud of, one who could take care of you.” His nose runs the length of my neck and I shiver. “I’m that man now.”
“I liked—no, I loved the old you.” My thoughts spiral as he brushes his lips against my earlobe. “I missed him for an entire year, and I’m afraid I lost him forever.”
“No.” He pulls at the tender skin of my neck with his lips. “I’m here.” His mouth, lips, teeth, and stubble continue their delicious torture, and I lose all my strength and lean back into his chest. “I tried so hard to forget you, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to want you, but you’re in my blood. I can’t shake you.”
“Why didn’t you call?”
“I thought I was giving you what you wanted. You were pregnant, and I knew you had shit to figure out. I walked away, hoping I could forget you, but I couldn’t.” He nuzzles my throat. “You were my first, Axelle.”
I blink my eyes open, stilling at his words. “But not your last…”
He drops his forehead to my shoulder. “No.”
I turn around and face him head on, needing to see his face, and I regret it the second I see the shame and embarrassment in his eyes. “I haven’t been with anyone since you, Killian.”
“Fuck.” He exhales hard, steps back, and runs a hand through his hair. “I didn’t know.”