My eyes flick to Killian at the threatening tone of his voice.
The kid, Watkins, ignores Killian’s command. “I just figured…” He turns the phone screen to me, and there in full color is a photo of my mom. Topless.
I gasp and my cheeks flame.
He grins. “If your mom’s this quick to get naked, my guess is you are too.”
The guys all dissolve into a fit of giggles, and like a flash, Killian is up. He tackles the dude who’s twice his size to the ground.
I swing into a bakery and grab a muffin and a water then search for a place to sit. I spot a table across the way that’s half shade and half sun. A shaky smile breaks across my face as I imagine what Kill would say to me if he were here.
“You’re so weird.”
“Newsflash. You’re not exactly perfect either, buddy.”
“Guess that makes us the perfect pair.”
I’d love it when he’d say that because that’s all I ever wanted to be. His perfect match. But then my life would come crashing down around me, reminding me of my insecurities. How could someone like Killian, someone so good and pure, stay with someone like me? I’d chase him off eventually.
Killian steps close, towering over me. “What do you mean Trip’s not calling you back?”
My neck flushes with embarrassment. “It’s no big deal.” I shrug and act unaffected. “He’s probably just busy.”
“How many times have you tried to get in touch with him?”
“Not many. Maybe five.” Fifteen. Eight texts, four phone calls, three emails.
“Five times and he hasn’t gotten back to you?” Killian spits the words through clenched teeth.
I hate it when he looks at me like I’m one of those puppies from that commercial about abused pets with the music that always makes me cry. “It’s okay, Kill. I’ve gone twenty years without him. What’s a few more?”
What’s a few more…?
Killian’s about to leave for five years, and I’m sitting here doing nothing to stop him. I preach that I want to have more control over my life, that I want to take my fate into my own hands, and here I’m reminiscing about my feelings for Killian while at the same time letting him go.
My spine stiffens. If I want to stop being treated like a damsel in distress, I need to stop lying around waiting to be saved.
I nearly trip, untangling my legs from the table and chair, and then race the few yards to the street. My arms flail to wave down a cab, and I jump in before he’s even to a complete stop.
“You in a hurry?”
“Yes! I need to get to the UFL Training Center as fast as you can drive.”
He pulls out into traffic and spots me from the rearview mirror. “That’ll cost extra.”
“Fine, I don’t care. Just please, I don’t have a lot of time.”
*
Killian
“Mr. Kyle, can you explain why the UFL is sending fighters from the US to train in the UK?”
Cameron sucks his front teeth then leans into the mic, glaring at the poor reporter who asked the question. “It’s not rocket science, Phil. As I said before, it’s like a foreign exchange student program. We send a guy over to train and set up a few fights; they send a guy our way.”
Poor Phil clears his throat, and if I had an ounce of humor in me, I’d laugh. “Um, I understand that, but I guess my question is why?”
“Because I can, Phil. Because it’s fun. Because why the fuck not?” Cam purposefully directs his eyes to the opposite side of the room. “Next question.”
I peer down the table at my London camp then turn to see most of my Vegas camp looking on with anticipation. The great thing about today’s announcement is that, no matter what I decide, I know the guys and girl I fight with will approve. They’ve all expressed their support, and as difficult a decision as this was to make, their backing me up has made it a little easier.
I’ve had to accept the fact that I can’t love Axelle enough for the both of us. It’s possible that what she thought was love for me was only her appreciating me, that the years I spent holding her up and keeping her together made her feel like she should love me.
She doesn’t need me anymore.
The thought makes me as sad as it does proud. I’m happy for Axelle, for her new found independence, that she took her second chance at making a life for herself and fought for everything she wanted.
Even if in that everything there’s no me.
“Enough questions, you guys just keep asking the same ole shit.” Cam looks down the row of fighters. “Let’s get to the announcements.” He grumbles a quick introduction.
“Here we go,” Laise whispers at my side.
I lean forward and adjust my UFL hat before meeting eyes with the crowd of reporters and journalists. “I spent a year in London training with this crew of incredible fighters. I was offered a five-year fighting contract to stay in London, but in order to make that decision, I wanted to come home to Vegas and get some perspective, and what I learned was—”