I walked away from him months ago, and I’ve lived such a lonely existence since. My life is a pattern of work, sleep, repeat. I close my eyes, and the wind sweeps and swirls my long hair around my face, hiding me from the world.
A loud cracking noise startles me and I sit upright. A large group of people have joined me on the beach, and the residual smoke from a firecracker floats out over the water. They’re laughing loudly as they arrange their blankets and chairs around a group of guys digging what I presume is going to become a fire pit. Watching them scamper around reminds me of the times Cassie and I would come here with our friends from college. We used to take over this whole area of the beach with our epic volleyball and whiffle ball games. If only I could travel back in time.
One of the girls opens a large bottle of wine, and the others hold out their glasses to be filled. Cheers and laughter continue as they clink their glasses together.
A Frisbee sails my way, landing near my feet, and one of the guys jogs over to retrieve it. “Hey,” he says and smiles ear to ear. I recognize him right away; he’s the son of Cassie’s neighbors. He bends to pick up the Frisbee and plops himself in the sand instead. “I thought it was you, Sam.” I squint, trying to remember his name. He’s a twin, and I always mix up him and his brother. I’m talking to either Jake or Justin. Cassie and I spent many nights on this same beach hanging out with them. In fact, I hooked up with Jake a few years ago at the end of a long day of swimming and drinking. He’s adorable and nice, but it was just a one-time thing and we didn’t let it interfere with the good times we were having. It was uncomplicated.
“Hi—um, Jake?” I say, hoping I’m right.
He smiles and nods his head. “That’s me.” He lifts his hand to shield his eyes from the sun behind me. “What are you doing out here all alone?” he asks.
“Oh, just enjoying the view and a much-needed break from life,” I say.
“Where’s Cassie? Is she up at the house?” He looks past me toward her back deck.
“No, I’m alone this weekend. Cassie had to work.”
“Jake!” his brother calls from across the beach. Jake waves him off and tosses him the Frisbee from his seated position in the sand.
“You’re here with a big crew. Are your parents down too?” I ask and look back over to his friends now huddled around a fire.
“No, they’re away. A bunch of us wanted to get together, and instead of going into the city like we usually do, we decided to come down here.” He peers at the waves and brushes sand off of his legs. He’s wearing shorts, and I shiver thinking how cold he must be.
“That’s nice,” I say. “It’s the perfect time of year to come down here and have this whole place to yourself.”
“Yeah,” he says. “So how have you been?” he asks.
How do I answer that question?
“I’ve been—life’s been interesting.”
He nods, almost as if he knows exactly what I’ve been through. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you here,” he says. “Maybe two or three years?” I can tell he’s remembering the same moment that I just did when we made out under a pile of blankets almost right in the same spot that I’m in right now.
“I can’t believe it’s been that long. What are you doing these days?” I ask.
“I’m a third grade teacher in Spring Lake and I’m living in Belmar. I can’t seem to stay away from the beach,” he says.
He is a gentle soul, and it’s the perfect profession for him. I bet the kids love him. “That’s great,” I say.
“What about you? Are you still saving lives?”
Sometimes.
“I’m a neonatal intensive care nurse in Philly,” I say and don’t want to talk much more about my job.
“It takes a really special person to be a nurse,” he says and brushes my leg with his hand. “I don’t know how you do it. Last week, one of my students puked all over his desk and I almost passed out.”
I chuckle. “It’s not as hard as you think.”