And now I’m going to have to go out there and talk to them. Tell them what a bastard I was to her. If they don’t know already, as I’m sure Ramon has all the details. I’m not jealous, I’m fuckin’ jealous as hell that my brother has a closer relationship with my girl than I do.
Oh, I know they haven’t slept together, and they never will, but she talks to him. Part of me is glad that she has someone to go to, but, yeah, I can’t help but be jealous. Of my own brother as well.
Shoving my arms into a clean tee shirt, I make sure I’m covered while inhaling deeply before slowly exhaling in an effort to calm myself down.
I’m the oldest one and should be the one dishing out the grief to them, but today I’m about to get that treatment from them. There’s something wrong with this.
It’s usually me telling them what a bastard they’ve been.
Walking out into the lounge, four pair of eyes stare at me as though they haven’t seen me before.
I sigh, and, ignoring them grab a bowl of chilli, a fork and a beer from the breakfast bar and take them with me as I drop onto my chair in the lounge. Perhaps I could have shaved, but why would I? I don’t have any enthusiasm for anything.
Starting to eat, my brother’s join me and fill up the lounge, spreading out on the sofas and other chair with their dinner.
Eating in silence is new, but looking at Sebastian, I know the silence isn’t going to last.
He grins, and asks. “So what did you do to screw up?”
Michael and Ruben cuss. I glance at Ramon whose frown probably matches mine but he remains silent, which is probably a good thing.
Being prepared for the question helps to keep my anger in check as I place my bowl on the coffee table. I take a long drink from my longneck as I gather my thoughts and then sigh.
“Have you not told them?” I ask Ramon.
He replies, shaking his head, “No. It wasn’t my story to tell.”
I’m glad at least one of my brothers doesn’t gossip like an old lady, but in a way it would be so much easier if he did.
With my heart feeling heavy, I admit, “I missed Sabrina’s twenty week scan at the OB’s office.”
“How the fuck did you forget that?” Ruben demands. “If it was Rosie you can bet your ass I’d be there no matter what the hell else I had on.”
And that is how I should have been with Sabrina. I let her down by not being there. The truth is that I wanted to be there so damn much and when I rang her I tried to make light of it when in fact, I’d been hiding my disappointment from her. I hadn’t even mentioned Sabrina’s appointment to Michael when he’d asked me to stay with him because he’d been worked up over Lily.
I glance at Michael, and admit the truth, “It was the day Lily had her fall.” I have Michael’s attention, and notice my brothers glance at him as I continue, “I called Sabrina from the hospital telling her about Lily. I basically blew her off.”
“Because I was a selfish jerk and asked you to stay with me while Lily was having the tests,” Michael says before cussing.
“You had no idea what I had planned that day because I’d only just arrived at your place when Lily fell. And if you must know I blamed myself for Lily’s fall. She was rushing to let me in because the door was locked with the key in the lock so I couldn’t use my own.”
“Fuck. It’s not your fault she fell. She was rushing, had a dizzy spell, and slipped because she had socks on her feet instead of shoes.”
“Tell them the rest,” Ramon says, not being helpful at all.
Tugging at my hair with my hands, I add, “I snapped when I knew she was right with her argument, and basically told her she wasn’t family…and that family come first.”
“Fuckin’ hell,” Ruben cusses.
Sebastian adds, “Even I don’t screw up that big.”
“You do realize the fact it was Lily, which indirectly prevented you from being with Sabrina, probably made the situation ten times worse?” Ramon adds.
“What?”
What the hell is he talking about?
“You seriously don’t know? Why the hell do you think she doesn’t respond to Lily anymore?” Ramon questions me.
“Fuck. I didn’t even think about that,” Michael adds.
“Why would she be jealous of Lily?”
Now they all glare at me.
“You have a special relationship with my wife that was strange to me and the others to begin with. Sabrina is jealous because you always put Lily before her.” Michael shakes his head, which tells me to stay quiet. “Basically she’s an outsider looking in and thinks you’re in love with my wife…I know you don’t love her like that and so does everyone else. It hasn’t been a problem before because you haven’t had someone with you, but you did and she was finding it hard to get past your relationship with Lily. Did you ever sit down and tell her why you are so close to Lily? Or were you as clueless as I think you were?”
There isn’t any reason to answer him because he’ll see by the shock on my face. I’d obviously, wrongly presumed after my earlier conversation with Sabrina that she had dropped the whole thing about Lily. The signs were there if I’d only taken more notice.
“I need to talk to Sabrina.”
Ramon winces.
“What?”