My heart freezes at the reality. I wish I knew what to do to make this right, even though I’m not sure there is anything.
In my defence, I say, “I’m sorry Sabrina. I don’t know what else to say. I told you that Michael was a mess, and I was worried about Lily. Someone needed to stay there with him while the doctors were examining Lily and she was having tests done. He’s my brother dammit, Sabrina.” I drag my fingers through my hair wanting her to understand. “My family have always been there for me so I’m not about to let my family down when they need me.”
I close my eyes. I’ve just told her she isn’t family when she is. She’s my family. My future. I hadn’t meant it the way it had left my mouth. In the past, I’ve always put them first, but now I should be putting Sabrina first, and I didn’t. I love her and our unborn child. What the fuck have I done?
The hurt on her face nearly kills me.
She just looks at me with silent tears falling down her face. “I guess I finally know how you really look at me.” She slowly gets to her feet while my words of apology get stuck in my throat. “Please don’t come after me. If you can’t show any respect for me any other way, please respect my wishes. My mother will let you know when the baby arrives.”
Unable to move, I watch her with my eyes as she grabs her purse and leaves.
I can’t breathe. There’s a pain in my chest that won’t let up. My whole life is passing before my eyes, spinning as out of control as a tornado all without Sabrina.
Throwing my mug across the room, not caring what’s just shattered along with it, I cry like a man who’s just lost everything…because I have.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Sabrina
Two days ago I walked away from Lucien and instead of going to my mother’s place I ran to Ramon. I shouldn’t have with him being Lucien’s brother, but he’s the only one I wanted. The only one I knew would understand.
Lucien’s words had cut me up inside. Hearing him tell me he was there for Michael because he was family had put the final nail in our so-called relationship. I was living an illusion. I’m not sure what he thought we had, but it wasn’t what I thought we had. A relationship.
Lily, Carla and Rosie have tried calling me, but I can’t speak to any of them. I just want to forget and to try and get on with my life, which is a laugh. I’m still wearing my pyjamas and it’s already past lunchtime. Ramon and Eric are out at work so it doesn’t really matter, I guess. Eric, who I had no idea was staying with Ramon while he’s here, has also turned out to be a good friend. He even threatened to carry me into the shower and let me wash his back if I didn’t get out of bed today. I didn’t want to find out whether or not he was teasing.
Instead of lying around, I need to find a way to carry on without Lucien, who I relied heavily on for my happiness before he destroyed all my ideas I had about us. If only I could get the look on his face when I turned away from him out of my head. He’d looked as though I was the one doing the destroying.
Hearing a lock turn, I stare at the door and watch Eric walk through kicking his work boots off. No Ramon?
He smiles as he drops his ass on the chair opposite me. “See you made it from the bed to the sofa. You showered as well? Pity, I wouldn’t have minded carrying out my threat,” he observes with a grin.
“No one wants to see this body in the shower.”
“If I thought for one minute that I stood a chance with you, we’d have already showered together and other things,” he smirks.
“You’re a big flirt.”
“Been accused of that a time or two.”
I change the subject. “Why are you home now? I thought you were working all day.”
He shakes his head. “I needed to get out of there for a while before I actually push the asshole from the tenth floor scaffolding.”
“That doesn’t sound too good.”
He stretches out in the chair, and crosses his feet on the coffee table while he lets his head drop to the back of the chair.
“Are you alright?”
“Exhausted. I’m getting too old for this shit.”
He does look rung out.
“Let’s forget about why I’m pissed at someone at work and I’ll tell you about my brother, Dante,” he looks at me, his eyes sparkling with mirth, “and all the ladies who attend his church who won’t leave him alone.”
My eyes widen.
He chuckles. “He’s a priest and has been for a while now. Anyway, he rang me this morning needing to let off steam. Apparently working out at the gym didn’t work this time…I see I have your attention.”
“Please get on with it, this sounds like a story I might enjoy.”
“Okay, well, the chicks love a guy who looks after his body, and the same goes for a guy of the cloth. My brother works out when he gets the chance to burn through whatever demons he’s been running from for years, and the woman who attend his church drool all over him. So, anyway, he rang me the other day pissed because one of these women has started to stalk him.” He grins.