I’m not going to give up on him. I promised I wouldn’t and regardless he’s under my skin so I wouldn’t be able to walk away even if I wanted to.
That doesn’t mean I have to wait here for him to return home. To wait for an explanation from him that I’m not sure he’d give.
That’s why I accepted Carla’s invitation to meet her for breakfast. She wants to go over a few things for the charity event at the hospital as well as to pass on a few baby brochures that Lily has picked up for me.
Thinking about Lily hurts my stomach. She was my best friend, but now I’m not sure what we are. I know things are strained—my doing—because of her connection to Lucien. I know Lily is in love with Michael and she doesn’t see anyone else in the same way, but her relationship with Lucien is hard to explain. There is a closeness there that seems so much deeper than his connection to me. Sometimes I think he’s telling me the truth and there is nothing between them, but then I see a secret look shared between them and then I’m not too sure.
I obviously want to believe him. It’s just difficult.
My only hope is that somewhere down the line my friendship with Lily, and the closeness we shared growing up, will come back because I really miss having her to turn to. She always gave me sound advice and with Lucien, she is sure to know how I can help him…or, at the very least, have an idea. I’m completely out of my element with him and can’t seem to do right for doing wrong.
Stepping out of the elevator, I walk through the lobby and offer a smile and wave to Roger on the security desk. He does a really good job, which Lucien has confessed is one of the reasons he chose to purchase the apartment. And as I approach the door, he quickly dashes in front of me to open it for me.
“Have a nice day Miss Walker.”
A lovely man.
“Thank you and please call me Sabrina,” I request with a smile.
“Oh, I can’t. Mr McKenzie won’t like that.”
“Hmm.” We’ll see. “Thank you, Roger.”
The Starbucks coffee shop is only a few blocks over, and, with the weather being so nice, it’s lovely to walk. All because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I’m unable to do anything. I love walking and when we have good weather, I can walk miles, and often do. It’s also a good opportunity to try and get rid of the stress that seems to constantly have me in its clutches.
Something has to give with Lucien. I’m human. I can only take so much before it gets to be too much. The doctor has told me, in his presence, that I need to be stress free. She has no idea what it’s like living with someone who is expecting you to walk out the door the first opportunity you get. Sometimes I feel like screaming at him, but most of the time I just want to hold him. And I can’t deny how much I need his arms around me. Lucien has lived a very solitary life until I dropped into it. So I can understand him needing time to adjust, but he needs so much more. I’m starting to think that perhaps I’m not strong enough to hold him together, tears prick my eyes and I take a deep breath to stop them. I can’t keep feeling so sad but what else can I feel when I’m watching my hope for a future with him slowly dwindling away.
“Sabrina?”
Hearing my name, my head snaps up and looking around, I still can’t work out where the shout came from.
“Sabrina?”
And then I spot Carla waving like a mad woman on the opposite side of the road that I’m about to cross.
Carla and I became friends straight from the start and it’s like having a nosy sister. She’s worse than Lily ever was and that’s saying something.
“Hey,” I greet her. “I see Sebastian has let you out without him.”
“Only because he’s gone around to Ruben’s place.” She smirks.
Carla slips her arm through mine as we carry on walking down the sidewalk. “You wouldn’t know why he was called to Kenza would you?”
I catch her eyeing me.
“I’ll tell you over coffee.”
“Good. Because we’re here,” Carla says on a sigh.
***
Taking seats with our latte’s in hand, Carla says, “So spit it out. I’m guessing Lucien is there,” leaning in towards me—her eyes alight with mischief.
“Yeah.”
Sipping my drink I try to buy some time, but she’s on to me, and meeting her unwavering gaze, I laugh.
“Everything was going well. We were sitting on the sofa talking and I had him sit between my legs so I could hold him, you know? I started to rub his arms and shoulders, and everything was going great. I could feel him relaxing into me but then I dipped down the back of his tee shirt...he froze and left without a word.”
“I had a feeling it would have something to do with his injury.”
“I just can’t get the fact that he left without a word out of my head. Not one word was spoken from when I’d slipped up to when he left. I still haven’t heard from him this morning either.”
I shrug trying to make light of it before taking another drink.
“He’s really hurt you, hasn’t he?”
Nodding, I whisper, “Yes.”