Ramon holds his cell out in front of his face and reads, “L’s screwed up. Drinking in club. That sounds like you’re telling me he’s screwed up,” Ramon points out to Ruben.
“Okay, children. Give it a rest. Yes, I’ve screwed up with Sabrina. I’m going to continue drinking this,” I hold the half empty bottle of Jack up, “until I can’t think straight anymore and then my life won’t seem so bad.”
“If you think drinking all that is going to change the fact that you have a woman at home who cares about you and a baby on the way, then you’re going to be sadly mistaken. And you also better start praying that Sabrina doesn’t decide to pack up and leave. I wouldn’t blame her if she did.”
Will she really walk away from me?
Yeah she will. If you push too far.
I knock the rest of my drink back and no longer feel the burn of it sliding down my throat. Since I met Sabrina, I’ve only really drank on a few occasions, and even though I know I’ll regret it tomorrow, I can’t stop. If I do, the look on Sabrina’s face when I walked out and left her will still be with me.
When will I stop hurting the only woman who I care about?
“Well, hello there. Aren’t you three handsome?”
A cute blonde woman, who isn’t too bad on the eyes, pulls me out of my alcoholic daze. I look to my brothers, and grin. Ramon looks shocked as though he wants to get out of here, and Ruben frowns before hiding his smile behind his drink.
So I take the initiative and ask, “And you are?”
“Susan,” she tells me moving in closer to run her finger over my chest. Her finger moves slowly down past my abs coming to a stop at my belt.
Really looking at her, she’s a cute little thing.
But not the woman you want!
I shake my head to get my conscious out, it isn’t working as I remove her hand from the waist of my jeans.
“Susan,” Ruben grabs her attention, “you might want to go say hello over there before they attract other attention.” Ruben points behind her to where there are two guys sitting watching her with us.
I agree it’s best she moves on. I’ve hurt Sabrina enough without trying to lose myself in someone else. I laugh. Shit, I can’t believe that thought even popped into my head. As though I’d move on to someone else. There isn’t any way I’d be able to get it up for anyone else, not even my own fuckin’ hand. I’ve tried.
Ruben slings his arm around my neck as Ramon removes the glass from my hand. “You, my brother are going to come upstairs with us before you get yourself into something you’re unable to dig yourself out of.”
Yes, I’ve had too much to drink, but I’m plenty aware of what’s going on around me. I’ll still suffer tomorrow, but it’s nothing less than I deserve.
“Can you walk?”
“I’m not drunk.”
“Hmm. Well get your ass up then,” Ruben smirks.
I stand and turn to face him saying, “I’m up,” as I sway into him.
“I’ll ask again. Can you walk?”
“Probably not in a straight line.”
Ignoring my brothers who are waiting for me to face plant the floor, I make my way through the club and wait for Ruben, whose come up behind me to punch the code to his place.
The stairs feel like more than I can handle, but I’m not about to give my brothers the satisfaction of knowing just how badly I’m struggling right now.
Finally, in Ruben’s apartment, I crash on his sofa and turning my head, I grin at Rosie who is trying her best not to laugh at me from the chair she’s curled up on.
“What’s going on?” she asks Ruben.
“He’s fucked up again.”
“Oh.”
My eyes drift closed, but soon open again when I feel a cold cloth against my face.
“What’s happened, Lucien?” Rosie asks when all I want to do is get lost in sleep.
“I keep hurting her. I do it deliberately…testing her. She says she isn’t going to walk away, but she will.”
“Ruben?”
“Leave him Rosie. He can sleep it off here,” I hear Ruben talking to his girl. “Ramon can you shoot Sabrina a text and let her know he’s spending the night here, and we’ll just hope she doesn’t decide to walk.”
“I’ll ring—”
I sleep.
Chapter Twenty-One
Sabrina
Up and dressed, I refuse to check my phone for the millionth time in case I’ve missed a message from Lucien. After I received the call from Ramon last night, I managed to get some sleep. Not much.
I’d been worried about him after he left even though he’d hurt me by walking out without a word. I mean who does that? He never even said what the problem was. What I’d done or said. I’d practically told him that I loved him, well, not in so many words, but anyone reading between the lines could make out my real feelings for him.
And then he’d walked out and left me with my heart breaking, desperate to go after him. I hadn’t. He’d left so quickly and by the time I’d shaken off the shock, he would have already been in his car and away from the building.