“I love you, too, Creed, and I always will,” I cried as he held me tighter, knowing he needed to hear me say those words. He’d been waiting for the last year and a half to hear.
I stayed there in his arms, both of us knowing this might truly be our end. Our final goodbye. I pulled away first, and he wiped away all my tears, kissing along my face for the last time. Battling not to kiss me on my lips. I sucked in air that wasn’t available for the taking. His arms fell to his sides, releasing me. Leaving me completely empty as I made my way toward the door, trying like hell not to look back at his broken expression.
“Pippin,” he called out as I walked out the door.
I stopped, waiting on pins and needles for what he was going to say.
“I’ve been wishin’ for you all my fuckin’ life.”
His words were too much. I needed to escape, run away, and get out of the house before all my walls caved. Our house that was supposed to be nothing but happy times.
“I’m sorry,” I said one last time. And left.
Even though...
It nearly killed me.
“Mia, you listenin’?” Noah asked, pulling me away from my thoughts.
“Hmm...” I replied, looking up at him from my laptop. I had been aimlessly staring at my freshman class schedule for I don’t know how long. I would be attending The University of North Carolina, Wilmington campus in a few short weeks. So I wanted to be prepared for my first official day as a college student.
I graduated from high school three months ago, surrounded by my friends and family, and of course Noah. My parents’ went all out with a huge party in their backyard. Decked out in my class colors, balloons, and streamers. The works. I swear the whole graduating class was in attendance, people hanging out everywhere, swimming and eating barbecue.
Though I often found myself searching the crowd for a certain tall, broody, tattooed man who would stick out like a sore thumb at a party like this. I knew my mom had mailed an invite to his shop a few days before the event. Thinking he’d like to see me graduate or tell me congratulations. He didn’t show up to the ceremony, but that didn’t stop me from hoping he’d come by the party for at least a few minutes.
“He’s not here, sweetheart.”
I turned around to see Noah’s mom standing behind me in the kitchen. All the other guests were mingling outside. “Yeah he is, didn’t you see him? He’s kind of hard to miss,” I nervously chuckled when she caught me once again looking around the crowd of people for him.
“Not Noah, Mia. My other boy.”
I winced. “How did you know I was looking for Creed?”
“Honey, I have never seen you look at anyone the way you do him. Even after everything that had happened, you still get this gleam in your eyes, and your face lights up like Christmas with the mere mention of his name.”
“I think you’ve been reading too many romance novels, Diane.”
We both laughed.
She stepped toward me, caressing the side of my face in a motherly gesture. “Sweetheart, call it woman or even mother intuition, but I know you’re torn between them, and you have been since Maddie’s funeral. I love my boys more than anything in this world, Mia. Noah’s a good man, and I would hate to see him get hurt, but stringing him along is far worse than letting him go, darlin’. Your heart has always belonged to Creed.”
I swallowed hard, biting my lip.
“I remember all the times you’d come over and sit with Noah on my couch. I wanted to pull you to the side so many times and tell you, but I couldn’t do that to my son. It wasn’t my place. Now things are different. You got your memory back, and it’s time for you to be honest with yourself. The longer you’re with Noah, the more you’re hurting him, and I can’t stand by and watch that happen. Not anymore. I love you like you were my own, and it doesn’t surprise me in the least that both my boys are in love with you. You’re a good girl, either one of them would be lucky to have you. It’s time to do right by them and you.”
I just nodded, taking in all she was saying. Knowing in my heart she was right. “I love him, Diane. I also need you to know that I love Noah, too.”
“I know, sweetie. But loving someone and being in love with them are two totally different things. Don’t make the same mistakes I did. I married the man I loved and left the one I was in love with behind. For the same reason you’re holding on to Noah, not wanting to hurt him. Jameson wasn’t always the cruel, vicious bastard he became. Money and power did that to him. I’ll never regret my choice to be with him because he gave me three beautiful, loving boys, and I wouldn’t change that for anything or anyone. But you always have a choice, Mia. Don’t let anyone make you feel like you don’t.”
“Did you hurt him? The other man... The one you were in love with?”
She took a deep breath, looking down at the ground for a few seconds before peering back up at me with anguish written all over her face. “I did. Especially after I married Jameson. I never wanted to be that woman who cheated on her husband, but it happened. For decades. My heart wouldn’t let me forget him, and in the end, it cost him his life.”
I jerked back with wide eyes. “Did—”
“Can’t change the past, but you can change your future,” she interrupted, pulling me into a tight hug. “Anyway, I’m going to head out. I just wanted you to know that I’m here for you, no matter what. No judgment.”
I hugged her back, so grateful to have her in my life.
“You go and enjoy your party, ya hear?” She smiled, pulling away. “Congratulations, sweet girl!” She gave me one last sweet smile, then turned and left.
Leaving me with so much more to think about, in ways I hadn’t before.
Creed never made it to my graduation party after all. I guess I couldn’t blame him. We hadn’t talked or seen each other since that day at the beach house almost five months ago. Not even in passing. It wasn’t from lack of trying, often going out of my way past his shop. Hoping one day I’d see him. I knew he was avoiding me after I left him broken in Maddie’s nursery. Trust me, if I could avoid myself, I probably would have, too. I was the true definition of a hot mess. Conflicted, knowing no matter what, someone was going to end up getting hurt.
And I started to think it might possibly be me.
It pained me, not to have him there. All he used to talk about was how he couldn’t wait until I graduated. He would be standing in the crowd, proud as fuck of his girl.
His words, not mine.
It didn’t come as a shock to anyone that I decided to stay in Oak Island for college. It had always been my home. I applied to several colleges out of state and got accepted into every last one of them, including my dad’s alma mater, Ohio State. Part of me contemplated running away. Starting fresh. Leaving behind the two men who were playing tug of war with my heart.
But in the end, I believed I’d find my way eventually. I just didn’t know which direction I would turn in. It was best to stay close to home, face the facts and move forward.