I hung up. Leaning back in my chair, taking the last few swigs of whiskey. Trying to focus my attention on the waves of the ocean and not the fucking hurricane that ripped through my heart, leaving nothing but destruction in its wake.
By the time I was finished drowning my fucking sorrows, it was late into the night. I stumbled to my feet realizing I was a lot more drunk than I’d thought. Chucking the empty bottle to the water, going back inside to pass the fuck out. Hoping in my drunken state, my gun wouldn’t accidentally meet Noah's fucking balls. Grateful as fuck that my room was on the opposite end of the house, not wanting to hear any more bullshit with them throughout the night.
I staggered into my room, shutting the door behind me. Abruptly stopping dead in my tracks when I saw Mia sitting on the edge of my bed, staring blankly at the inside of my cut that was in her grasp. I blinked a few times, thinking I was imagining things through my drunken haze. Rationalizing it was probably wishful fucking thinking. There was no way she’d be on my bed, in my room, this late at night.
She peered up at me, wide-eyed like she’d just seen a fucking ghost. At that point, I might as well have been one. She didn’t see me anymore, eyeing me up and down, taking in the state I was in. I instantly sobered up some, realizing she really was fucking there. Causing me to lean against the door, folding my arms over my chest.
“What the fuck are you doin’ in here?” I rasped harsher than I intended. “Shouldn’t you be in my brother’s bed? You seemed pretty fuckin’ cozy in there before.”
She winced and didn’t even try to hide it.
“What do ya want, Mia?”
Her stare fell to my cut in her hands, peering intently at the inside again. “Were these the patches you were talking about?”
“No.”
We locked eyes.
“Those are the ones you gave me. At one time they meant somethin’, I guess now they’re all fuckin’ bullshit.”
Her mouth parted. “I gave you all these?”
I nodded. “Every single one ya see on the inside.”
“You stitched them in your cut?” She ran her fingers over each one like she was trying to pull some recognition from them.
“From the first one you ever gave me till the last one. I just added to it every time you handed me more.”
“Why?” She looked up, confused.
“So I could have you close to me everywhere I went.”
“Did I know this before? That you had these on here?”
“No.”
She bowed her head again, and it was then I noticed she was wearing nothing but Noah’s shirt. Stabbing me in the heart a little bit more.
“Creed—”
“Asked you a question. Expectin’ a fuckin’ answer. What are you doin’ on my bed?” My patience was running very fucking thin.
“I don’t know. I couldn’t sleep, and I went into the kitchen to get some water... I just... I mean... I ended up here.”
“Un-fucking-believable,” I breathed out, pissed that she was playing these games with me. When she obviously made her choice. I pushed off the door and was over to her in three strides. “Do you think I’m that fuckin’ stupid? What, Mia? Did you come in here cuz baby brother didn’t fuck you right? Need a real man’s cock inside you? Funny, cuz I never pegged you for bein’ a whore.”
She gasped. Her eyes widened and her breathing hitched, winded by my response. She didn’t falter, standing, throwing my cut on the bed, and leaving without saying another word.
I grabbed her arm before she could even take a step. “Truth hurts, don’t it, baby?”
“Let go of me.” She used the momentum of my hold to swing back around and slap me across the face. “You don’t get to talk to me like that! Ever!”
I touched the side of my face, feeling the sting from her hand. Cocking my head to the side, I spewed, “What, babe? You gonna let him fuck you in the ass, too?”
She raised her hand to slap me again, but I caught it mid-air. “I let you hit me, once... It won’t happen again.”
She jerked back. Trying to break free from my hold, but it was useless to fight. I wouldn’t let her go. “Fuck you! You asshole!”
“Are you shittin’ me? I have done nothin’ but protect you and fuckin’ love you, Mia! And this is how you repay me? By fuckin’ my brother! Do you remember anything I said to you at prom? What I fuckin’ gave you? What? Did you think I was just goin’ to sit by and give you my goddamn blessin’? Waitin’ for you while you fuck my brother? Jesus Christ, you want me to hate you?”
“No! Of course not... I’m sorry, okay? I don’t remember you! I don’t remember our—”
“Bullshit! You wouldn’t be in my room, on my bed, in my fuckin’ face right now, givin’ me shit, if that were true.”
She frantically shook her head. “That’s not fair.”
“You wanna know what’s not fair, sweetheart? The fact I just saw you ridin’ my brother’s cock while you were gettin’ off!”
Her chest heaved. “I didn’t know you were here. I would have never—”
“You would have never what? Fucked him? Fallin’ for him? Let him make love to you? Please, Mia, tell me what you would have never done.”
“I love him,” she simply stated as if it meant everything when it meant absolutely nothing to me.
Finally making me realize I’d been fighting a war I never had a chance of winning.
“Yeah?” I let her go. “Well, you fuckin’ loved me, too. Since you were nine-years-old.” I nodded to the door. “Go. Be with my brother. You love him, yeah? Then go be in his bed. Go lay in his arms. Let him kiss you. Touch you. Tell you you’re his... And try not to think of me the next time he does it. Unless you want me to put my hands on you and remind you who ya really fuckin’ belong to.”
She slowly backed away, looking at me one last time before she turned and left. And it took everything inside me not to go after her.
Knowing in my heart.
We ended here.
I called in church.
Except this meeting wouldn’t include any of the brothers. It would be just my father, myself, and the fucking truth. It took Diesel and me a few days to get our shit in order and line everything up for doomsday. He made sure no other brothers would be present at the clubhouse for the whole day other than us. The last thing we needed was any distractions, interruptions, or retaliations. This was between my father and me.
Had nothing to do with club business.
After this there would be no second chances, no do-overs, no going back.
It was now or never.
I didn’t realize until the next day that my ma not being home actually turned out to be a blessing in disguise. Not from the bullshit I witnessed, which would haunt me forever, but from me saving her a world of pain. Making me realize that she didn’t need to know the truth. She’d been through enough and had already moved on with her life. It wouldn’t have been fair to drag her into something that, for the most part, had nothing to do with her.