I owed Martinez more than I ever imagined owing anyone.
Which was what led us to this place and time. Where there was no more evidence to be found, no more roads to go down—it all would end here. The facts were all laid out in front of us. Some had been staring me in the fucking face for years, and I never put two and two together till recently. Involving a hell of a lot more people than just my old man and me. Face after face after face filled Diesel’s screen. Stopping on one that that made my blood boil to the point of rage.
Hers.
It was only a matter of time until the truth came out, and the devil and saint would descend upon us. He would be coming for me. If my old man didn’t find out first.
I just hoped I could still get to him fucking first.
The next few minutes of my life went down in slow fucking motion, the closer I got to the room where the door was slightly ajar.
More truths.
More facts.
No more fucking lies.
I was suffocating in them. My mind, my sanity, my life—I couldn’t take it anymore. My whole body felt like it was giving out on me. Shutting the fuck down. Game over. There were too many emotions happening all at the same fucking time, and I couldn’t control any of it. Nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to see, about to feel.
This was the night my life truly fucking ended.
I heard her pant like I was the one touching her.
I heard her moan like I was the one kissing her.
I heard her scream out his name like I was the one fucking her.
Except it wasn’t me. It would never be me again.
I stood frozen in place as I watched Noah on top of Mia, my fucking girl. Kissing her, holding her—making love to her like she was only his and had never truly been mine. With each thrust he pushed inside of her, I realized I still couldn’t see the girl, she could only be heard. I needed to fucking see her to believe it. Holding onto the false hope that maybe this was all him. Or maybe I was mistaken and he was fucking a whore, but I knew Mia’s sounds. Her moans, her screams, all of it had been etched into my mind.
My heart.
My fucking soul.
I was one second away from hauling ass inside of his room, throwing him the fuck off of her. One second away from proving I was right and he was wrong. My foot was mid-air moving forward when I saw her suddenly flip him over to get on top of his cock. Riding the shit out of him, looking deep into his eyes. Kissing him like she once kissed me.
It was like watching a car accident, unable to look away. Wanting to fall to my fucking knees and break down right then and there. Each sway of her hips brought me closer to my own demise. I could have busted in there, I could have beaten my baby brother’s face in before putting a bullet in his fucking skull. The possibilities were endless. Except, I couldn’t move. It was like God had ahold of my ankles, shackling them to the floor, punishing me for all my sins. While the Devil laughed his fucking ass off.
It wasn’t until I heard her moan, “I’m going to come,” that I wanted to take the gun in my hand and aim it directly at my heart. Pulling the fucking trigger, ending my miserable fucking life with one single bullet.
I finally backed away shaking my head, turning around to leave when I heard Noah say, “I love you.” Pulling the goddamn trigger for me.
I went to my room, threw my cut on the bed, and put on a hat and black hoodie. Trying to hide my face and body from anyone who could recognize me. I was still a fucking fugitive, a wanted man on the run with several warrants and rewards out for my arrest. But I didn’t give a fuck anymore. I left the house before I did something I would regret for the rest of my life.
Walking to the gas station that was a few blocks away, needing the distraction. I paid cash for the biggest bottle of Jack I could find, strongly gripping it in my hand the whole way back to my mom’s house. Taking swig after swig after fucking swig from the bottle. Drowning in the amber liquid, letting it consume my entire being. I went straight to the back porch and sat outside in nothing but darkness. Not ready to face the light which was inside Noah’s room. Pushing away the images of Mia fucking my baby brother, but I couldn’t.
Now my mind was punishing me for every last sin I committed.
Every last life I took.
Playing the sound of Mia’s laughter all around me like a goddamn broken record. Seeing her beautiful face smiling at me. Wishing she was there with me and not in my brother’s arms. I had lost her, after everything...
I had still fucking lost her.
I took another swig, welcoming the burn of the fiery liquid with fucking delight. I wanted to forget. I wanted to pretend like the last hour didn’t fucking happen. Sitting out in the dark under the full moon. Letting the momentary solace it provided me take over.
I didn’t want to feel anything.
I didn’t want to remember anything.
I didn’t want anything anymore.
But peace.
Knowing I never had any to begin with.
I don’t know how much time went by when my phone rang, breaking me out of my trance-like state of emptiness. “Yeah?” I answered.
“You ready for this?” Diesel questioned on the other end.
“As ready as I’ll ever fuckin’ be.”
“You gonna tell your ma everythin’?”
“Ain’t sure yet. Gotta few days to figure it out.” I took another swig, smacking my lips as it went down. “She don’t even know I’m here. No one does.”
The only reason I showed up on her doorstep was to let her in on the truth. She had a right to know. Explain to her what was about to go down and what I was going to do with the evidence I found. Not because I needed her blessing.
It was her forgiveness I was after.
“You alright?”
“No,” I sternly stated. “Go get some rest. You’re gonna fuckin’ need it.”
Diesel had been my wingman throughout this entire fucking manhunt. I know the endless, sleepless nights had finally run its toll. On both of us.
“You gonna tell Noah?”
I shrugged. “Don’t know if I can trust Noah.” Especially after what I saw tonight.
“He’s still your brother, Creed. I know it don’t seem like it now, but he is. He’s just hurtin’. Been through a lot these last few years.”
“No shit. So have I.”
“It’s different. You were born into this life. It’s all you’ve ever known and cuz of that, you sheltered your baby brothers the best you could. Not just Noah but Luke, too. Noah didn’t see the reality of our world until the day you got on that goddamn bus, leaving one fight to battle another. He had to step up and become a man. You were fuckin’ born one.”
I took a deep breath, taking in his words, guzzling the bottle now. It was more than half empty by the time I was done.
“I’ll be by tomorrow, Creed. Gotta figure out a fuckin’ game plan.”