I tried to steady my shaking hands, my overly beating heart, and my mind from losing control. Pushing through the pain of my own goddamn wounds. Doc made another cut, deeper this time. Making her blood ooze out everywhere.
“Listen to me, we need to move fast. I need to break her water to get the baby out. I need you to grab the towels and one of the blankets.”
I readily grabbed them as he picked up another instrument that had a sharp end. Inserting it into the opening he had just created. Seconds later, green fluid leaked out of Mia’s stomach in spurts.
“FUCK! Just what I thought!”
“What? What’s goin’ on, Doc? She okay?”
“The amniotic fluid is supposed to be clear. I need to get the baby out, and I need to do it fast,” he snapped, grabbing a bunch of supplies from his bag. “Creed, spread a towel out over Mia’s stomach, and get the blanket ready in your hands. As soon as I pull her out, I’m gonna need you to follow my instructions, we clear?”
I nodded, placing the towel on her, grabbing the blanket next to me. Holding my breath, not knowing what to expect or what was about to come. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t fucking terrified, none of this was normal. Especially, having my girl bleeding out on the table in front of me. Doc’s calm expression was the only thing keeping me from flipping the fuck out. I never imagined I would be the one standing next to Mia, waiting to see her baby girl being born.
As much as I tried to push away the guilt that Noah wasn’t here, it lingered in the forefront of my mind. He wasn’t going to be the one witnessing the birth of his daughter.
I was.
It wasn’t right, but that didn’t stop me from feeling honored as fuck that I was there and he wasn’t. I had witnessed so many people being brutally ripped away from this cruel world. Never thinking I would have the privilege to see an innocent life being born into it.
It was one of the best moments of my life.
It didn’t take long until Doc was pulling out this tiny baby girl by her head and shoulders. She was covered in blood and God knows what else. He placed her on the towel on top of Mia’s stomach, clamped down on the cord, and cut it. Taking another towel, he quickly wiped her face and eyes.
I had never seen anything more beautiful, more breathtaking in all my life. She was already so fucking perfect.
She had a full head of dark black hair, reminding me so much of Noah when he was born. I counted her ten toes and ten fingers, making sure they were all there. She had these pouty pink lips, almost too big for her little face. Just like her momma.
Before I knew it, a huge smile spread across my face, watching her curl up in a little ball, like she was still inside Mia’s stomach. Not realizing she’d made her grand entrance into the world so early. A sense of pride washed over me as Doc worked diligently, suctioning the gross shit out of Maddie’s mouth and nose. Disturbing her peace.
After a few moments, the space filled with the weakest little gasps and squeals. Her teeny arms and legs flailed, pissed off and cold. Tears began to form in my eyes, thinking about what her momma was missing. She would never get to hear her first cry, be the first to hold her in her arms. And tell her that she loved her more than anything in this world.
I kneeled down, brushing Mia’s hair away from her face, pleading for her to wake up. Whispering what I was seeing and feeling in her ear. Hoping she could at least hear me, or maybe even feel the overwhelming love pouring out of me.
“Baby, you did so fuckin’ good. I’m so fuckin’ proud of you. She’s beautiful,” I murmured, caressing the side of her face with my thumb. “Can’t believe you made her in your stomach... Jesus, Mia, I can’t believe I got to witness such a fuckin’ miracle. I will never be able to thank ya enough for givin’ me such a special gift. She may not be mine, but that don't matter. She’s all that matters now.” I leaned my forehead against her cheek, blinking away the tears. “I’m so sorry, Pippin, I promise I’ll make this up to you, even if it takes the rest of my life. I love you so much,” I choked out, my emotions getting the best of me.
“Creed, I need you to take off your shirt, wrap the baby up tight in the blanket, and hold her close to your chest. Her temperature is droppin’, which ain't good. The heat from your skin will help. I gotta finish up with Mia.”
I kissed her forehead, wiping away the tears that escaped from my eyes with the back of my hand. Clearing my throat, I stood while pulling my shirt over my head. Wincing when it scraped over the gash in my side and arm. I dropped the blood-soaked cotton on the floor and walked over to Doc. Holding my arms open, not knowing what the hell I was doing. He placed Maddie in the crook of my arm, telling me to support her neck, with my other hand securely placed under her small frame. She fit perfectly in the palm of my hand as I cradled her close to my chest, just like Doc had said.
My heart instantly melted, I was so fucked. This little bundle of joy would be the death of me, or maybe she would be my new beginning. Already having me wrapped around her tiny little finger. I walked around the room with her, holding her as close to my heart as I possibly could. Loving the way she felt up against me.
The sounds she made.
The way she curled up into my body as if she was molding herself to my chest, like she did in Mia’s stomach. Lightly gripping onto my finger.
The smell of her.
The feel of her soft baby skin.
Loving every last thing about her, from the top of her head to the tips of her toes. She was my Godsend, my angel, the only thing that made sense anymore.
Her and her momma...
Were now my entire fucking world.
“Baby girl, I love you so much. I need you to know that I may not be your daddy, but I will always love you like my own,” I stifled, barely able to get the words out. This was such an overwhelming moment, one I never thought I’d experience. “Your real daddy would be here, but he’s fightin’ for you. For your momma. He may not be here right now, but he’s gonna have so many more memories with you. The first time you talk and walk. The first time he has to break a boy’s fingers for lookin’ at you. And I’m gonna be right there with him, Maddie,” I chuckled, thinking about it. “Right by his side, raisin’ you right.”
She cooed, stirring in my arms as if she understood everything I was promising. I rocked her, trying to soothe her as I walked back over to Mia. Knowing in my heart that Maddie wanted and needed her momma. I crouched down beside Mia’s face again, kissing her cheek.
“Baby, you gotta wake up. Someone is needin’ to meet you. Open them pretty eyes, so you can see your beautiful daughter.”