As much as I wanted to chase after Amira when she ran out of my room and out of my life forever, I couldn’t. I was done being the man she needed me to be.
In the end, it all worked out. Emilio stopped sniffing his nose where it didn’t fucking belong. My father didn’t dare to mention anything to anyone about Amira, including me. And meeting Evita, allowing myself to care and love another woman, who wasn’t Amira, for the first time in my life.
I met Evita at school, purely on accident. We bumped into each other at the library one night when we were both studying late. She was reaching for a book on the top shelf, and I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going. Colliding into the most beautiful girl on campus. She was naturally flawless and innocent, much like Amira. I was instantly drawn to her, probably because she reminded me of the little girl I had once saved. Her family had died in a tragic car accident when she was a teenager. Leaving her an orphan and completely alone. We bonded over a similar darkness, the way Amira and I had.
Evita knew from day one what I did every day when I wasn’t in school. There was no point in lying to her about it. She never judged my decisions or questioned my actions. Instead, she fell in love with me almost immediately. I wish I could say the feeling was mutual at first, however it wasn’t. I cared for her deeply and would do anything for her. It was hard not to. We’d been officially a couple since the first time I fucked her, after a whole month of dating upon her request. The longest thirty days of my fucking existence. I was the second man she’d ever been with, and she wanted to wait. On day thirty-one, she finally agreed to let me fuck her twelve ways to Sunday. I swear we didn’t leave my bed for a week.
By the time Amira showed up at my school, we’d been together over six months. The first time I told Evita I loved her was when Amira was staring into my dark, soulless goddamn eyes.
I was a fucking monster.
Evita couldn’t have been happier hearing those three words that night. When all I could think about was Amira’s face as she rushed out, leaving behind her broken heart that I would eternally hold in the palm of my hand.
I’d spent the rest of night out on the balcony with Yuly in my hands, while Evita slept in my bed. Needing to feel close to Amira the only way I knew how. The water would always be our connection to one another. She loved it as much as I did. Along with the night sky after she told me the Andromeda and Perseus love story all those years ago. On nights like these I’d catch myself searching for their constellation, thinking Amira was staring at the same sky at that exact moment. Thinking back to before everything went awry.
I knew the very next morning after she kissed me, I was going to have to show her the man I’d always been.
Except, I allowed myself to walk back into my bedroom to fucking hold her one last time. She wasn’t sleeping when I sat on the bed next to her, so I waited until her breathing evened and I knew she’d passed out. Not wanting to fuck with her head any more than I already had, knowing what I was about to do would destroy her. I pulled her toward me, placing the side of her body right on my chest, desperately resisting the urge to kiss her again. Touch her, fucking devour her. I was content in just holding her against me. Rubbing her back like I had done so many damn times before. Still feeling her everywhere, especially in my dark fucking heart.
Of course, I fucking loved her. I always knew it, but it was easier to deny such feelings until I couldn’t do it anymore. She almost knocked me on my ass when she kissed me, never thinking she would have the balls to do that. Which was one of the many reasons I loved her. She wasn’t scared of me, she’d never been fucking scared of me. Soon that would change, and she would hate me. Nothing would ever go back to the way it was between us after that night. I never hated myself more for what I did to her. I swear on everything fucking holy, all I wanted to do was to make it right by Amira.
Knowing I would never be able to do just that.
One thing inside of me did change after that night, I allowed myself to actually fall in love with Evita. Closing one chapter of my life to open another. She deserved it, earning my trust. I thought maybe I could start making love to her and finally let my guard down in that way.
I couldn’t.
Not that I didn’t try. It was just something that would forever be a part of me, no matter how much I wanted to set it aside. Evita loved it when I fucked her, dominated her, controlled every last part of her body, mind, and soul. So it wasn’t an issue.
At least not for her.
“Damien! There you are! Late as always,” Rosarío greeted when she saw us walk into the living room, pulling me into a tight hug.
I kissed her cheek, backing away. Evita’s grasp tightened around my arm. Tugging my hair away from my face, I announced, “Rosarío, this is—”
“I know who this is,” she interrupted, grabbing Evita’s shoulders to take a good look at her. Thank God, I warned her that Rosarío was like my mother and she was as affectionate as they came. “I have heard so much about you, Evita. You’re just as gorgeous as I knew you would be.”
“Thank you so much. I’ve heard so much about you too. It’s so wonderful to finally meet you,” Evita replied, kissing Rosarío’s cheek.
“We have much to catch up on. I’ve been telling Damien for months to bring you over, but you know him… stubborn as a mule.”
Evita smiled, glancing over at me. “So I’m not the only one who thinks that?”
I glared at her, making them both laugh. Trying to mask the desire to look around for Amira, silently hoping she wouldn’t be here, but at the same time, wishing she was. I couldn’t even remember the last time I saw her. I stopped by for her seventeenth birthday, but she was nowhere to be found. As if she knew I was coming.
Eternally feeling me too.
“I know Damien said not to make a big deal about you coming over, Evita, but I’m sorry… I couldn’t resist. I invited some friends, I may have a pig in the oven, and there’s possibly some torticas de moron baking in there as well. I mean, I’m just saying.”
“Rosarío—”
“Oh, it’s fine, Damien,” Evita cut me off, placing her hand on my chest. “I would love to meet more of your friends and family.”
Rosarío beamed. “I like her already, Damien.”
“At least one of us does right now,” I scoffed, earning myself a smack on the back of my head by Rosarío.