“No. But at least with him here, I could keep an eye on him. Now, Lenny will be like an invisible danger lurking in the night.”
“That’s insane. I’m glad the fucker left. That’s the best homecoming you could’ve asked for. You don’t need that shit in your life.”
“Well, I needed his rent.”
“No, you don’t. I’ll pay his half of the rent indefinitely until you can find someone, preferably a female.”
“I can’t let you do that.”
“Doesn’t matter whether you let me. I’m doing it anyway.”
I walked into my room and gasped loudly upon the sight of my open closet.
“What happened?”
“My clothes…most of them are gone!”
“That sick fuck took your clothes?”
My hands were shaking. “This is so freaky.”
“Call the police, Rana. Now.”
“I won’t do that. I’m too scared of retaliation.”
“Okay, if you won’t, then at the very least, you need to change your locks.”
“I’ll work on that first thing in the morning. Nothing’s open now.”
“We used to think it was funny, but this shit is no joke. That dude is sick.”
“What do you think he’s doing with my clothes?”
“Who the fuck knows. Some voodoo shit? It doesn’t matter. I’m just glad he’s gone.”
“I think I’m going to start looking for a new place tomorrow. It freaks me out that he knows my schedule.”
“I’m going to insist on it, Rana. Seriously.”
“I was hoping to come home and relax, maybe draw a nice, hot bath. Instead, I feel like I walked into an episode of Unsolved Mysteries.”
Landon chuckled. “Minus Robert Stacks’ creepy voice.”
“Yeah.” I sighed. “I swear…my life is so bizarre.”
Since Lenny had taken my work clothes as well, the following day was spent scrambling to find two new belly dancer outfits, seeing as though I had to return to my dancing gig that night.
I was eternally grateful for the money Landon had snuck into my coat. Otherwise, I would never have been able to afford new uniforms. There was only one woman in town who sold them, and she was expensive because everything was handmade. I didn’t have time to order anything online, so I had to go to her.
After leaving the seamstress’ shop, with an hour to spare before the start of my shift, I decided to pay a quick visit to Lilith and give her the few souvenirs I had brought her back from California.
It wasn’t our normal Big Sister day, so she looked surprised to see me when she joined me out on her porch.
“You came back.”
“Did you think I wouldn’t?”
“I bet Jasper a dollar that you would, but he wanted to make it five. I told him that was too much because I thought I might lose.”
“Thanks for the one-dollar vote of confidence, Lil.”
“Is there something for me in that bag?”
“There are several things in this bag. Two new work outfits for me, and there just might be a few things for you, yes.”
She adjusted her glasses. “Let’s see.”
“Okay, technically, Landon paid for these gifts, because I didn’t have any money with me.”
“I like him.”
“I didn’t know what to get you, so we bought a few different things.” I took out the smaller gift bag that contained all of her presents.
She opened it and sifted through the gifts: A Venice Beach key chain, a California T-shirt, a replica of the Landon’s Lunch Box truck, and a fake Academy Award that said Best Friend.
Lilith inspected each item. “You did good, Toots.”
I laughed whenever she called me “Toots.” What person under the age of eighty used that term? She was getting more and more like a little old lady every day.
While she wasn’t jumping up and down or anything, she really did seem to like the gifts. I let out a relieved breath as she gave me a hug.
“When are you gonna see Landon again?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Will I ever get to meet him?”
“I hope so.”
“Did you bring anything else back?”
A massive case of lady blue balls and a bit of a broken heart.
IT’S THE ONIONS
The next few weeks went by in a flash.
I kept looking for a new apartment during the day but wasn’t having any luck finding anything in my price range. That, along with looking in on my father who was recovering from knee surgery, meant my life was unusually hectic.
Even though I’d talk to Landon every night, I avoided getting into any serious topics because I felt like I couldn’t handle it mentally. Sensing that, he was letting me drive all of our conversations.
Everything came to a head one night at work when I had what felt like a panic attack during one of my dance routines. I was able to ride it out but felt totally exhausted by the time I got home.
During our nightly phone chat, I opened up to Landon about what happened at the restaurant.
“I had a bit of a panic attack tonight while performing. That’s never happened to me before.”
“Are you okay? What did it feel like?”
“I’m okay now. It just felt like I couldn’t breathe, like I was trapped in my own body with nowhere to run. I think I’ve been bottling my feelings up, and they finally turned against me.”
He didn’t immediately respond.
“Your feelings about me…about my past?”
“Yeah, I think so. I’ve been really trying hard not to think about what you used to do, but it’s been like an ever-present ghost following me around anyway.”
“As much as I don’t want to, I think we really need to talk about it.”
There was no other answer for me to give him except, “I agree.”
“Please, just ask me whatever you want to know. Rip the Band-Aid off. Let’s just get it all out there so we can deal with it. That’s the only way you’re going to know whether it’s something you can look past or not.”
I knew the questions in my mind; I just didn’t want to necessarily know the answers. But this limbo couldn’t go on forever. So, I took advantage of the open floor he was giving me tonight and just started shooting off my questions.
“You said these women were all married?”
“Yes. Each one. But for the most part, they were in bad marriages, either open relationships, or the spouse was cheating, too. Sadly, I’m finding that’s pretty common among some of the wealthy people here—so many getting divorced or having affairs.”
My next question was perhaps the hardest one to ask, but I still had to know. “Did you ever…enjoy it?”
He exhaled. “I love sex. You know that. There’s probably nothing more that I love doing. But there’s a big difference between having sex with someone you choose versus someone who’s using you and vice versa. The idea of the latter repulses me now. But at the time, I would just zone out, detach myself from the situation. While I can’t say I enjoyed it, I can’t say I hated it, either. In the moment, it never felt like I was being used, never made me sick like it does now.”
“Were they all attractive…like Carys?”