She shook her head and slid him a loving look that Caden had seen pass between them a million times. As much as it warmed him to see how much they loved each other, it made his heart ache for Bella.
They passed the afternoon with small talk. His parents brought him up to date on friends around Boston, and when his mother hadn’t asked him why he was wearing a broken heart on his sleeve, he felt like he’d dodged a bullet. He knew she’d seen right through his feigned smiles and off-the-cuff answers.
His father liked to be busy, and after they’d exhausted easy conversation, he helped his father mow and edge the yard. Neither Caden nor his father needed much conversation. After that, they ran errands, another favorite pastime of his father. They went to the hardware store, the pharmacy, and finally, the grocery store to pick up a few last-minute items for dinner.
They were heading back to the house when his father pulled over at the ballpark where Caden had played as a kid. He left the car running and sighed. A combination so familiar, it sent a cold rush of air through his chest. When Caden was young and his father wanted to talk with him about something serious, he’d pull up at the ballpark and begin with a sigh.
“What’s up, Pop?” He wasn’t a kid any longer, and the longer the day stretched on, the wider the miles felt between him and Bella, making him feel agitated on top of feeling so stinkin’ sad that he wanted to punch a hole in something.
“Son, obviously whatever’s gotten under your skin isn’t just Evan, because if it was, you never would have let him ride off to see his friends. You want to talk about it?” His father slid his warm brown eyes Caden’s way. Looking at his father’s face was like looking in the reflection of a time machine. They had the same angular nose, the same thin brows and cleft chin, and he knew that in twenty years, Evan would be thinking the same thing about him.
“Not really.” His father couldn’t fix his relationship with Bella. Nothing could, because he’d done the right thing for Evan, no matter how difficult it was for him.
“Fair enough. How about you give me a glimpse into what’s going on anyway, or I’ll have to deal with your mother hounding me until the next time you drag your butt out here. You look about as distraught as you did when you lost George. I know you’re going through a lot with the move, a new station, and Evan, but…” He rubbed his chin.
“It’s nothing I can’t handle.” Caden clenched his jaw against the acidic taste of the lie.
“Okay, play it your way.” He put the car in reverse. “Your mother thinks this has to do with a woman, and, son, if she’s right, then good luck to you.”
Caden wanted to tell his father all about Bella, that he loved her and that he’d made a mistake by saying he needed a break, but saying the words would only make it harder to digest.
“I have a feeling I’m out of luck, Pop.”
His father huffed out a low laugh. “So, this is about a woman. Well, then, let me clue you in on something. I dated a few women before I married your mother, but when I met her. Pow!” He flicked his fingers forward, as if he were casting a spell out into the world. “Our eyes met and I could think of nothing but her every minute of every day afterward. Still can’t.” He shook his head and a smile spread across his face. “That’s how you know it’s real love, son. There’s no ifs ands or buts. There’s only life with her or torture without her.”
Torture. That sums it up perfectly.
His father had never led him astray, and as they drove up to the house, Caden decided to open up to him.
“Well, Pop. I’ve got Evan. I have more to think about than just how I feel about her.”
“Caden.” His father paused as he pulled into the driveway and cut the engine. He turned to face Caden with a serious look in his eyes. “You’ve done a great job of raising Evan for all these years. Everyone who knows you recognizes how much you’ve given up for him, and despite this business of hanging with the wrong kids, he’s a great kid. That’s because of you, Caden. All because of you. But, son, you must know that a man who never puts his own needs first can’t be the best parent all the time.”
Caden sat up a little taller, defending the fine job he’d done of raising Evan, despite his recent trouble. “I think I am a better parent for putting his needs first.”
“You probably are a better father than you might have been if you hadn’t done that, but, son, any way you cut it, a happy man is always a better father than an unhappy man. And for the first time in years, you’re carrying around a banner with a frigging frown on it. You seem like you’ve lost George all over again, and I guess in a sense, if this woman is that important to you, then maybe you have.” His father reached across the seat and settled his hand on Caden’s shoulder. “Think about it. That’s all I’m saying, son. If I can sense the unhappiness, so can he.” He pointed to Evan riding his skateboard toward the car.
He’d been doing nothing but thinking about it since Tuesday night.
Chapter Twenty-Four
BELLA UNLOCKED THE front door of her Connecticut home and stood in the doorway. Tears threatened, as they’d done since Caden said he needed a break. She tried to convince herself that this was all fated to be. What if fate wants me to be in Connecticut? Shut up! She had to believe that fate wanted her to follow her plan. Or maybe that fate sucked and she just had to make sure in her own mind where she belonged. She had a plan. She might have gotten waylaid, but she was back on track now, and she intended to stay that way. Lead with my mind, not my heart.
Two more companies that had been referred to her had signed up for the work-study program, meeting her twelve-company goal for the program. She’d met with the Barnstable County school board and had miraculously been able to hold her emotions at bay long enough to get an offer for full-time employment. When she’d gone to the Cape for the summer, getting that job offer was her top priority, and she was proud to have accomplished that goal.