Desire Me

As I shower, I run my hands over my body and recall Hunter’s touches and kisses. They weren’t fake were they?

God, I need them so badly—need him. He’s stolen any semblance of independence I had. I’ve been so scared of opening up to anyone and now I finally have, I chose the wrong person. It doesn’t matter that he accepts my past because what if that was all lies too? I laugh at myself as I towel off and change into my suit. To think I worshipped him for being so honest. I must have looked an idiot.

I sneak downstairs. I’m not sure why. It’s not like I can avoid him. He’s in the kitchen in only loose flannel pyjama bottoms, he looks like sin and everything I’ve ever wanted. The muscles in his arms flex and the ink on his skin dances with his movements as he swipes crumbs off the side. His hair is tousled and the scruff on his jaw seems to have grown even more overnight. I itch to scrape my fingernails through it.

He glances my way and stills. Pain and regret flashes in his gaze as he straightens. He looks… uncertain. When have I ever seen Hunter look unsure of himself? The lines around his eyes are deeper and shadows linger around them. Is he suffering just as much?

“Morning.” His Irish lilt makes my body tighten.

“Morning.”

“You’re going to work.”

“Yes.”

I stride past him and help myself to coffee. I notice he’s put out some toast but I can’t bring myself to touch it. All my hunger vanished the moment my stepfather turned up on Hunter’s doorstep and blew everything apart. I shake my head to myself. To think I’d been picturing some kind of future for us.

“I’ll take you.”

“You really don’t have to.”

“You’re still in danger. Regardless of what’s happened between us, you can’t deny that.”

I sip the coffee and nod. “You’re right.”

“You’ll let me continue to protect you?”

A wry smile forces its way onto my lips. “What other choice do I have?”

His expression darkens. “I’d rather you be with me because you want to be, not because you have to.”

“Yes, that’s what I wanted to,” I shoot back.

“Touché.” He snatches up a slice of toast and takes a bite, speaking between mouthfuls. “I meant everything I said yesterday. I love you. You were always more than a job.”

The coffee burns in my stomach and I place it on the side. “I’m not sure what to believe anymore, Hunter. Let’s just find this guy and get this over and done with.”

“Then you’ll give us a chance?”

“I don’t know.”

He smirks. “That’s not a no.”

Damn his arrogance. He must know what he does to me. In my wildest dreams I couldn’t have imagined someone like Hunter loving me. But what if it’s just come from being forced together? Maybe it’s just some weird obsession. Clearly I’m good at picking up psychos in my life. What if I’ve unhinged Hunter?

I give myself a mental shake. No, Hunter’s never been unhinged. Methodical, careful, determined. That’s Hunter. If only I could add honest back to that list again.

“I’ll just get dressed and take you to work.” He doesn’t give me the chance to say anything, just strides off leaving me watching the pull of his muscles in his back and wishing I’d had the strength of will to wrap my hands around him and forgive him.

But I can’t. Not until I know what’s going on. What’s real and what’s not. I’ve got to wait for this all to be over. Then I’ll know for sure if Hunter O’Reilly really loves me.

***

My work day passes in a blur of paperwork and customers. There’s still the issue of Hunter’s house hanging over my head. I need to come up with a solution for him but I have my doubts he’ll accept my help. I’m guess I was the job he was talking about and now he doesn’t have that money coming in. I can only put things off for so long before the bank wants to make a move. But, still, I’m glad for the distraction. Numbers, I like. Logical, straightforward. There’s only ever one outcome.

And a far cry from my mess of a life. Who knows how it will turn out?

Mitch picks me up to take me to Hunter’s house before my evening shift at Murphy’s. I offer him a surprised look. “How come you’re here?”

He shrugs as I climb in his Jeep. “Hunter thought you might need some time and he’s following a lead.”

I can’t decide whether to be glad or disappointed. “The production company?”

“Yeah.”

“I hope he’s not doing anything stupid.”

“Hunter rarely does anything stupid.”

I lift a brow. How much does Mitch know?

“Apart from when he messed up with you.” He chuckles

“Yeah, well…” I laugh too, even though I don’t feel amused.

“You get why he did it, right?”

“I don’t know, Mitch.”

“Well, it’s not my place to say anything…”

“Then don’t. Please?” I offer him a smile to soften my words. Mitch has only ever been guilty of being a good friend and probably even has the potential to be a friend to me if Hunter and I ever end up together. If. Big if. “Thanks for giving me a lift.”

Elle Boon, C.C. Cartwright, Catherine Coles, Mia Epsilon, Samantha Holt, J.W. Hunter, Allyson Lindt, Kathryn Kelly, Tracey Smith's books