Desire Me

“I’m Jess, I used to work here. We were looking for Lucas.”


Cindy scowls, reaches for a pack of cigarettes on the side and offers them to us. When we shake our heads, she shrugs, lights up and motions to the worn leather couch opposite. I sit, my knees practically touching my chin as the small couch sags under my weight. My gaze drifts back to the woman. In spite of the vast array of make-up behind her, her face is free from it aside from smears of mascara under her eyes. Her skin is red and puffy. Nothing like the glamorous women I’ve seen in porn films. Redness and bruising scuffs her skin. I try to avoid looking at her body. She sits, utterly shameless, with her legs crossed but I have a good view of decent breasts and a slim waist. I am as far from turned on as I could possibly be. Not now I know what she’s been through.

Cindy takes a drag on the cigarette. “You know he was fired right?”

Jess nods. “Yeah.”

“So what do you want with him?”

“Markus said you were seeing him?” I interject, keen to get out of the stifling room, acrid with the scent of sex and cigarette smoke.

“Yeah, bastard. Said he’d make me big. Guess he says that to all the girls. He promised me a lot.”

Jess nods sympathetically.

“Not that us dating stopped him from fucking other girls.” Cindy shrugs. “But I was meant to be special. I did everything for that man.”

I don’t realize my fist is curled at my side until Jess grabs it and wraps her slender fingers around it.

“Did he say what he was going to do?” Jess prompts.

“He wanted to set up his own company. Lone Star Productions or something. Don’t know if he did. Wanted me to be his star but once he left, that was it, I never heard from him again.”

“He didn’t tell you anything else?” I ask.

“He didn’t tell me anything,” Cindy confirms. “Used me and threw me away. Not that I expected anything different.” She taps her cigarette against an ash tray behind us and nods toward Jess. “You’d know about that.”

I swipe a hand across my face. “Do you have any way of contacting him?”

“’Fraid not. His mobile number stopped working almost as soon as he left. What’s this about anyway? He screw you over too?”

“Something like that,” Jess responds calmly.

“Least you’ve got yourself a sexy protector, eh?”

Jess smiles. “Yes, at least I’ve got that.”

I stand and hand a card to Cindy. “If you hear anything, give me a call.” Hand held out, I motion to Jess. “Let’s get going.”

Nodding, Jess takes my hand. “See you, Cindy.”

Cindy has turned back to the dressing table and is busy pouring herself a glass of whisky. She mutters a goodbye and throws the drink back. I catch her eye in the mirror and see everything I once saw in Jess’s eyes there. But when I glance at Jess, I realize it’s gone. Somewhere in this shitty process of investigations and lies and danger, that’s changed.

I draw in a great gulp of air when we step outside and don’t stop to speak to Jess until we’re in the car.

“I need a shower,” I grumble.

“I know.” Her voice is quiet.

“I had no idea.”

“I know.” A delicate hand curls into mine.

I grip her fingers and pull her hand to my lips. My lips flat against her palm, I relish her tiny intake of breath and feel my sanity returning. No haze of despair or demons haunt her expression. Only love and lust light her face. The coldness this visit created around my heart splinters.

“Princess, I’ve got to ask… did Lucas force himself on you.” I force my voice to remain steady.

Colour stains her cheeks. “He did but”—she holds up a hand before I can express my anger—“he didn’t succeed. It’s what made me leave. He used his position to sleep with the girls. Most did as he asked because they were scared of losing their jobs. When I refused, he tried to hurt me but we were interrupted and I left. In a way, I was glad. It woke me up to the world I was in. Gave me the incentive to leave. I spent a while drifting after that, living on the streets and in hostels but I never regretted leaving.”

An aching chasm sits in my chest for the young Jess. I want to rage and fight and tear down the world that makes a woman feel she has no other choice but sell herself. However, her placid expression and gentle touch to my cheek calms the heat boiling inside. Whatever doubts I had about the money are gone. Maybe she’ll tell me about it one day. I don’t care. All that matters now is me and Jess—and her safety.

“I hate that you went through all that,” I say gruffly.

“Me too. But it’s in the past now.”

“Yeah.” I nod. “Yeah, it is. I’m your future now.”

A grin breaks across her face. “Yes, you are.”

Elle Boon, C.C. Cartwright, Catherine Coles, Mia Epsilon, Samantha Holt, J.W. Hunter, Allyson Lindt, Kathryn Kelly, Tracey Smith's books